ex Girlfriend contacted me after 3 years of no contact. she is still confused

[lightn]

The whole story is me and my ex used to date for 6 months before she got scared and we used to work together. This was 6 years ago. Then I found a good job and of course within 3 years she came to my job looking for me since I did not contact. We went out once and she had her own house and had a job. The time we went out to dinner she was texting and I did not appreciate it. She stated she had to text this person and this happened in October 2008 So after I got home wrote her a long email and stated she need to make up her mind and texting while I am sitting there is rude etc. After that email, there was no contact and deleted her phone number etc. I been at my job for 6 years and loving it and making money. However last month beginning of October I get this email after 3 years that I noticed and stated you are welcome to delete it but apologized. Below is some of the email

This is her email to me:

I was just thinking, never a good thing, and after thinking about what happened the last time we hung out and talked. I just want to say that what i did was wrong, and even though it is too late now i just want to say that i am sorry. it was mean and unjustified. its taken some time and going through some really good * * * * , that i realize it. So again i will say I'm sorry.

 

Of course I responded and she emailed me back wtih this respond:

I'm glad your not holding a grudge, an i must say that i feel loads lighter after sending that email. the reason i sent that email was because a couple of weeks ago i went to old federal, had some memory's come back to me. the other day i was on facebook (my normal once a week peek) and i saw the tom avalanche I knew that was you, it had you written all over it, and thought hmmmm.... "i owe him an apology"

my current pony is like me, she has had a hell of a life, needs a little work, but she is a good car and will live until things get better (hopefully) as for the zaxbys I probly saw you but other things were on my mind and it didn't fully register. (sorry)

Congrats on the condo, i know that you hoped to find a place of your own.

I've let myself go, life's gone to * * * * . i'm unemployed, i'm having to move out of my house (hopefully the sale will go through before foreclosure) i'm working on myself in getting better, packing, looking for a job, and a place to live.

your welcome to stay in touch, my email and cell phone have not changed. I'm hoping to move north i'm looking in the mountains of the carolinas and crossing my fingers in finding a place.

I do care, friends are good to have, and right now i don't have many.

 

 

Well after that email she asked me if she wanted to do something that weeekend and we did. We went hiking to a waterfall in N. Georgia Mountains. We took our cameras etc. It was a good time. She even cooked me dinner and we watch a movie. When I left I hugged her and held her hand that was it.

Then Next Friday she wanted to go to Blue Ridge to see leaves. We did that. She bought dinner and watch a movie. After I left I hugged her and that was it.

Then on Thursday she texted me about her mom who she is having issues with but now closer with her dad. However during the text also she stated she is tired of her mom and that is why she wants to move to North Carolina. However I told her I will miss her when she moves. Her response was get out of the house more, to find a GF and that will solve that. I did not respond. I was not going to respond but however I get a Text late Saturday asking if I was busy. Told her I was helping someone move but will take a bit. SHe asked she had a idea to join her for dinner and I could pick up the food. Told her that would be fine. So I did that, we watched a movie. After that I hugged her and before I left she asked if she owes me money for the food and told her no. She asked are you sure and told her No, she is not going to win this one, and she stated all getting a liittle fisty there and stated yes, and she can too. SHe also stated that she might be going to Florida wih her parents for mom bday but does not know.

Last week rolled around did not hear from her and I did not text her and been a week. I called her to see how she was doing. She stated she was fine and did go with her parents etc. I stated ok, will talk later and stay in touch.

 

**Keep in mind when I went to her house the first week she made contact, she stated and showed me pictures of her travel of waterfalls etc she has been visiting. She also stated that she wants me to go with her and she can show me the places, but then between the other conversations she keeps saying she wants to move to North Carolina. She also stated to me the guy she was seeing she dumped because he lied to her, doing drugs and had a temper because there was marks in the door of her house.

 

Yes, she is short saling her house, so the last resort she would have to move into her parents house but she does not want to. She has no job since Feb 2011 and she has to pay her dad back when she gets a job for the mustang that her dad helped her out when all this happened. Yes, she loves to travel.

 

I have talked to few males and females and get different opinions. Few stated she is testing you, and also some say she does not know what she wants. Telling me she wants to do this with me and go places but then in same sentence she cannot wait to move out of Georgia to NOrth carolina., i just don;t get it. and I am confused

 

However I am every guarded and cautious. However I am not going to contact her anymore. I did it once to see how she was doing that is it. She has do all the work now because I don;t want to get hurt again. However I am still doing my things keeping busy working, sleeping and ii have been working out for a long time and lost weight.

 

I would like some opinion on this. male and female.

 

Tom

[Mesemene]

I think you're doing the right thing as far as NC, and if she wants to initiate something, ball's in her court.

 

It sounds like she has a crapton of stuff going on in her life, house sale with possible foreclosure, getting out of an abusive relationship, unemployed - and probably isn't in the best place mentally or emotionally to give much to a real relationship.

 

So yeah, I'd stay focused on yourself. If she gets to a point she's ready for more than the casual get together's you've had, she can let you know, and if you're still available, by all means, see where it goes. Just don't wait around for it or pin your hopes on her - she has a lot to handle before she'd have much energy to really invest.