new girl date sat night/// said bye to the old one from last weekend..

[22n32]

I've got a date sat night with this new girl.. she is 27 very wholesome, sweet genuine.. she is 5,8 a little tall for me.. I'm 6,4 but I still like em 5,2-5,5.. its what I like..

 

I don't think I'm being picky giving her a chance, were going to dinner ..

 

 

And the girl from last weekend at her apt. We talked she said she thinks I'm a player and moved to fast.. just an exuse, maybe not.. either way she told me she wants to date other guts while seeing me..

 

I told her Goodluck with that. I don't roll like that.. I like her and if she wants to date me to give me a call..

 

Balls in her court. Next please.. I did like her.. but if she doesn't see me for me then she's really not the girl for me..

[annony]

for what it's worth, in the first few dates, most women will be dating other people, as most men would be doing the same.

It is unusual to expect someone to only date one person at a time. If this is something you are rigid about, be prepared for a lot of women to be surprised by this.

Grown up dating isn't like high school where the first thing you do is ask them to be your girlfriend, then you spend time with them... it's the other way around.

[22n32]

for what it's worth, in the first few dates, most women will be dating other people, as most men would be doing the same.

It is unusual to expect someone to only date one person at a time. If this is something you are rigid about, be prepared for a lot of women to be surprised by this.

Grown up dating isn't like high school where the first thing you do is ask them to be your girlfriend, then you spend time with them... it's the other way around.

 

Well I'm gonna have to disagree with u.. I've been dating for 10 yrs I've never had to date multilply people neither has the girl..

 

I find a girl I like and focus my time and energy on her and its vice versa.. the girl is into me much as I'm into her that dating other people isn't neccesary.

 

Maybe for most people.. its not something I've experinced and I've dated well over 100 girls. And its not something I'm about to do.. don't need too plenty of single girls that see my point of view..

 

And there was a thread about how many people date multiple people at once and most said one at a time..

[22n32]

for what it's worth, in the first few dates, most women will be dating other people, as most men would be doing the same.

It is unusual to expect someone to only date one person at a time. If this is something you are rigid about, be prepared for a lot of women to be surprised by this.

Grown up dating isn't like high school where the first thing you do is ask them to be your girlfriend, then you spend time with them... it's the other way around.

 

And wasn't asking to be ur gf in middle school... Haha jk..

 

I'm not proud to admit it.. but I've been with a lot of women, all types all social and economic backgrounds..

 

I've played to field way to much. Because I could and it was always easy for me.. women were always there.. and this made me commited phope..

 

But I've moved past that. And looking for a good lady.. I know the games girls play.. sometimes I might be blind..

 

But even the sweet genuine 27 yr old is playing games.. many times she has said why a hot guy like me is single.. I told her because I'm picky.. which is the truth. I don't need to lie..

But she seems insucure about my looks..

 

She will play hard to get to a point were its so clear.. and I've told her I hate games just go with the flow.. but she still does it thinking it will work on me and I want her more. It's really just pushing me away. And making me say next..

 

There's already another girl she's been asking me to ask her out.. but I've kept my distance. Because its one at a time for me.. its more real and open then juggling multiple at once..

[lalalollipops]

lol good to see that some guys do grow out of it.

Some men just play the field until they end up alone. In their late 30's and wondering what the hell went wrong lol.

[DylanNotorious]

for what it's worth, in the first few dates, most women will be dating other people, as most men would be doing the same.

It is unusual to expect someone to only date one person at a time. If this is something you are rigid about, be prepared for a lot of women to be surprised by this.

Grown up dating isn't like high school where the first thing you do is ask them to be your girlfriend, then you spend time with them... it's the other way around.

 

I have to disagree with this aswell. No girls I ever dated were dating anyone else, and neither was I. I'm sure it does happen, but it's not as common as you make it out to be.

[mactownman]

for what it's worth, in the first few dates, most women will be dating other people, as most men would be doing the same.

It is unusual to expect someone to only date one person at a time. If this is something you are rigid about, be prepared for a lot of women to be surprised by this.

Grown up dating isn't like high school where the first thing you do is ask them to be your girlfriend, then you spend time with them... it's the other way around.

 

This ^. When I first start dating a woman I expect them to be seeing other people. I certainly will be dating other woman. Currently, I am dating three women.

 

Honestly man you can't expect a woman to be exclusive with you after a few dates. That's not how it works. Maybe you'll be able to find a woman that "rolls like that" but more than likely you won't.

[22n32]

This ^. When I first start dating a woman I expect them to be seeing other people. I certainly will be dating other woman. Currently, I am dating three women.

 

Honestly man you can't expect a woman to be exclusive with you after a few dates. That's not how it works. Maybe you'll be able to find a woman that "rolls like that" but more than likely you won't.

 

I know most will date a few to hedge there bets.. and I would never expect them not too date others if that's what they want..

 

I would rather just not partake in that.. on to the next and who will only date one at a time.. there are plenty outhere that only date one..

 

I used to date many girls at once.. but looking back it really wasn't dating.. and I've relized by only seeing one at a time.. I can build a much better quality connection..

[Ariel85]

I've got a date sat night with this new girl.. she is 27 very wholesome, sweet genuine.. she is 5,8 a little tall for me.. I'm 6,4 but I still like em 5,2-5,5.. its what I like..

 

I don't think I'm being picky giving her a chance, were going to dinner ..

 

 

And the girl from last weekend at her apt. We talked she said she thinks I'm a player and moved to fast.. just an exuse, maybe not.. either way she told me she wants to date other guts while seeing me..

 

I told her Goodluck with that. I don't roll like that.. I like her and if she wants to date me to give me a call..

 

Balls in her court. Next please.. I did like her.. but if she doesn't see me for me then she's really not the girl for me..

 

I really caution you from making these value judgments on women you don't know. Wholesome? Genuine? Sweet? You actually know none of these things at this point. All you are seeing is what she is letting you see. I'm not saying she couldn't be these qualities, but you seem to have a habit of making these women out to be sainted and perfect, when you don't know them and haven't even had one date. That's how you went from believing the last girl was marriage and kid material, and everything you were looking for, and it didn't get past one date. I think it's very dangerous when you make people out to be more (or less) than they are. It's best to go into it thinking, "I think she's pretty, she seems cool and fun, but let's see how it goes." Give people a LEVEL playing field, not one that is weighted because you want to believe they are someone or something.

 

The girl from last week, your bride to be? lol. Yep - total excuse. She says you moved too fast, yet she invited you to her apartment for a "first date"? You're right to move on, because her message was that she wasn't interested.

[Ariel85]

Oh, I wanted to add - this whole attitude of "screw her if she doesn't see the real me" is ridiculous. Just like you can't know someone after one date, they can't know you either. So, it's not fair to cop that mentality when, after one date, they're only going by what you've let them see, and if she's calling you out for coming off like a player, and you feel this is most definitely NOT you, then I'd say you have some work to do to bridge the chasm between how you've being perceived, and how you truly are.

[22n32]

U like to judge me... Haha..

 

Then let's see if u can crack this.. why is the girl from last weekend calling me everyday if she is not intrested??

[Ariel85]

U like to judge me... Haha..

 

Then let's see if u can crack this.. why is the girl from last weekend calling me everyday if she is not intrested??

 

You're here for advice. And that's what you're getting. If you consider what I wrote to be a judgement, you might want to look up the distinction.

 

So, on the first page she told you that she wanted to date other guys so you told her that you weren't interested in that, and now you're claiming that she's calling you every day? Um, seems like a pretty quick turn-around for a girl who called you a player and wasn't interested in dating just you. Seems almost, unbelievable, actually.

[22n32]

Ariel85.. and I agree my opnion of the wholesome or genuine is based on how the interact with me and sell them selfs.. that of course can change on a dime..

 

But its what I'm seeing.. I've been around a lot of girls. To see the diff between party, selfish narrcist. Or wholesome genuine lady..

 

So yes they are in category and reason I'm going on the date is because she comes off wholesome, sweet lady. Not party selfish narcist.. off course its not who she might be.. but we all have a sense of what type of a person is before we go out with them..

[22n32]

You're here for advice. And that's what you're getting. If you consider what I wrote to be a judgement, you might want to look up the distinction.

 

So, on the first page she told you that she wanted to date other guys so you told her that you weren't interested in that, and now you're claiming that she's calling you every day? Um, seems like a pretty quick turn-around for a girl who called you a player and wasn't interested in dating just you. Seems almost, unbelievable, actually.

 

Yep.. I'm getting calls and text daily from her.. and ur right its exactly what I told her only one person at a time..

 

My opnion is she is attracted to me, but fears I'm a player and prejudging me.. because I'm not anymore.. so she is trying to protect herself by hedging her bets by dating others.. but I know she had a date with a bald 5,9 dentist.. he's got money , security but not that fire..

 

So she is in a sense. Trying to lure me back in but protecting herself by dating others but not wanting to let me go..

 

Games and I'm good with it.. I've been friendly with her... Just like my ex calls once a week to tell me she loves me. I never call her in fact told her I'm seeing someone..

 

But she does it. So she can go be free but come back to me.. sadly she is mistiken we will never be together..

 

Far as the last week girl.. I think she is insecure about something. But doesn't wanna let me go.. so were stuck going no where..

[22n32]

And my thought on the quick turn around. Is I told her I won't roll with dating multiple people.. I think she was expecting me to be okay with it..

 

But I wasn't and distant myself from her. She felt she was losing me so she is trying to lure me back...

 

I just don't have time for this.. I want one girl and focus my time on her..

[GreenCupcake]

22n32, something stuck out to me here. It appears to me that you don't allow girls to get a chance to know you for who you really are. You and that other girl barely knew each other. You made assumptions about her and she made assumptions about you. How on earth are you ever going to be with someone for a long time if you don't even give them a chance to stick around and know you?

 

I think you are scared to fall in love dear. The other girl thought you were a player because deep down she can sense that you have the ability to date girl after girl without much effort.

 

Now with this new girl, are you going to actually allow yourself to be more open-minded?

[22n32]

22n32, something stuck out to me here. It appears to me that you don't allow girls to get a chance to know you for who you really are. You and that other girl barely knew each other. You made assumptions about her and she made assumptions about you. How on earth are you ever going to be with someone for a long time if you don't even give them a chance to stick around and know you?

 

I think you are scared to fall in love dear. The other girl thought you were a player because deep down she can sense that you have the ability to date girl after girl without much effort.

 

Now with this new girl, are you going to actually allow yourself to be more open-minded?

 

Hi... I see what ur saying... U know I feel I'm pretty open minded. Even after last sat night I was feeling to move forward together. Not judge the situtaion we were in..

 

We live in a throw away soceity hardly do we cherish anything.. even after all those hrs talking to me. She knew I wasn't a player buy what I said my values and what I want.. but my whole life I've been judged off of my apperance and it screams player to most people..

 

 

It's not my action. I'm very genuine, honest.. and I don't just jump from girl to girl.. I liked her.. she judged me by my looks and what happened sat.. I can't sit there and dweel I have to make myself move forward.. and why I agreed on the date. I have no expections just having fun with it..

 

In the past reason I was a player.. it was always there, girls are beautifull and yes failing in love scread me.. being in love giving it my all and being left.. abondenment I guess..

 

But that changed yrs ago.. I've had several ltr.. last one being 2yrs long.. and I loved her and she was selfish and went lived her life.. I know its chossing the right partner..

 

But I feel I'm very open minded and understanding more then most in this messed up society we live in. All about me..

 

I'm very giving and loving. And I like being in love.. I don't think I fear it even after my ex..

 

Thanks greencupcake

[chr8st8na]

The Op... Wow... I feel like we are in the same shoes. Looks do deceive ppl, especially when we are dating. If you do look better than your partner, most times they are going to think like other ppl too- which is "I can't believe u are dating me?!" I think you did the right thing by exiting out because I can tell you, you would be doing a lot of reassurance just to ease her mind (temporarily)....

I also think people should not get on your case about getting to know someone. Ppl have no idea how hard it is to get to know someone when all they do is closed themselves to you. Just from my experience, if you stay with an insecure person just be ready to do a lot of reassurance and the more time you stick around, the more harder it will be to leave the situation.

[GreenCupcake]

22n32, you're welcome. If you are really serious about finding someone to love, it will most likely happen when you least expect it. I'm about to turn 26 and I have realized that it is a lot more beneficial for me to know the person for a long time first. If I know who they are as a whole (the good and the bad), I can decide if they are right for me or not. However, if I jump into a relationship right away, I will most likely encounter a lot of surprises that I won't be happy with. Plus, taking it slow can be exciting.

 

chr8st8na, in this case it's not about insecurity. It's about someone presenting themself a certain way (without even realizing it) and having another person back off because of it. 22n32 just admitted that he used to be a player. Now the question is: If he's not a player anymore, does his behavior (in the dating world) reflect that? If the previous girl accused him of being a player, then something isn't right.

[GreenCupcake]

By the way, I'm not an expert by any means. I just call things the way I see them sometimes

[Dubb]

For someone who claims they have a lot of experience with girls you're not posting like it... If you think most girls are only talking to one guy you're being really naive. They may tell you that but chances are there is at least one guy floating around.. He could just be texting her but he's probably there. The better looking the girl the more guys there are around trying to get her on a date.. It's unreasonable to expect her to just drop all that for you. She hardly know you. Not to mention you should never be concerned about other guys b/c it's out of your control. you can only control your actions with her.. The girl from last week was testing you.. It makes no sense for her to call you a player but tell you she wants to keep dating other people.. You would of been better going with it and telling her you're not sure about her either.. instead you gave her an ultimatum after a first date...

[lalalollipops]

lol yeah, ultimatums in general are lame, and after a first date screams needy.

Why didn't you just keep dating her for another few days and then see? You don't even know her.

[22n32]

I had a lunch date with the girl from last week.. meet up for 3 hrs today.. she called yesterday and I asked her for lunch today.. it went great we talked about how everything went down.. both of us prejudges eachother in a way.

 

She told me she went on another date and she thought about me.. and I told her I went out with someone.. the new girl sat night date.. and I told her I thought about her too.. huged and kissed her and said Ttyl..

 

The new girl sat night.. she was cool very attractive nice girl. But the level of attraction for me is not the same.. as last weeks girl. I don't know. ;(

[22n32]

Update.. thought about it more all last night and today..

 

I'm gonna contuine seeing the new girl from this weekend.. just casual dating... And let the girl from last weekend.. have her own time. Date others, and let her come to me...

 

I could Def Chase last weeks girl, and she would bite.. but I feel its counter productive. If I let her have her time and date and if she comes back to me.. be so much better for both of us..

 

I would like to get to know her more.. I'm not gonna shut her out.. be if she calls I won't ignore her and play it slow..

 

I'm gonna tell the new girl.. I wanna take it slow.. I see her trying to rush things already..

[22n32]

One thing. I'm so much more attracted to last weeks girls vs the new girl. And this kinda bothers me ;(