Going crazy here. How do I get rid of that last shred of hope?

[xbg]

First off--I'd like to link back to my previous post for some background! How do I do that??

 

But basically, I feel like we're perfect for each other. Like I honestly and completely do. I've never been more convinced of anything. I'm sure a lot of people on this site feel the same way about their SO. His friends think I'm great, his family thinks I'm great, they all think he's made a huge mistake. But at the same time, everyone (his family included) says he's too immature for me right now, and that I can do better and should move on. So how DO you kill that feeling of hope that one day he'll wake up? I feel almost delusional because of what everyone's been telling me, but I really keep thinking one day he'll wake up and realize he made a big mistake. How do you convince your brain you're wrong? It's been especially hard because he's been wavering so much (see my previous post) and told me he loves and misses me as recently as Sunday (this is even though he also told me he's starting to see someone new and wants to see where things go with her...).

 

And how do you convince yourself you deserve better? In my mind, he's perfect for me in so many ways. And I'm perfect for him in so many ways. I get that he's chosen to break up with me and therefore he's not perfect (or so everyone tells me), but I haven't been able to convince myself of that. Somehow I keep blaming myself. If I'd been better, then he'd want me. I can't convince myself that there's anyone else out there for me. I can't convince myself that anyone better exists out there.

[xbg]

Suggestions, please?

[mhowe]

Because he is seeing someone else. He broke up with you, he is in a relationship already with someone else. He is not going to wake up one day and say , OMG, what have I done. He has moved on --- you need to as well. His actions speak much louder than the words, "I miss you.".

[Eocsor]

But basically, I feel like we're perfect for each other. Like I honestly and completely do. I've never been more convinced of anything. I'm sure a lot of people on this site feel the same way about their SO. His friends think I'm great, his family thinks I'm great, they all think he's made a huge mistake. (

 

If you were perfect for each other he wouldn't be with someone else. You are projecting your thoughts and feelings onto him but it's not reality. And the fact that his parents or friends like you mean absolutely nothing. My exes family loved me to death. They still keep in contact with me. But my ex is still my ex.

 

You'll get to the point where you accept it eventually because you will have no choice.

And you are right, you do deserve better. So heal yourself first and then go out and find that person.

[Mesemene]

But at the same time, everyone (his family included) says he's too immature for me right now, and that I can do better and should move on.

 

Even his family, his staunch champions, see that he's not ready to be good relationship material.

 

It doesn't matter what would be the case IF he was this, that - what matters is right here, right now, he's with someone else, and will probably be with quite a few someone else's before he's mature enough to want anything permanent.

 

Unless you're comparing people for a resume - another guy wouldn't have to be "better," just "different." We learn a ton about ourselves, what's attractive, what's important long term, and what rocks our socks short term from relationships that "failed." Everything you've learned from him, everything new you learned about yourself - those go forward with you as you continue to grow and learn.

 

Let him go completely to finish that growing and learning, and do the same for yourself. Maybe you'll cross paths again years down the line, maybe not - but one thing is sure - you'll both be different, more mature, and more aware of what you want and need by then.