Back in the dating pool...

[SandyD]

Hi all!! Well, I´m still casually dating (no sex), meeting people, etc. No boyfriend yet, still shopping, hehehe. Here´s the thing though... me and this one guy (let´s call him Eric) agreed to take things slow, and still see other people. I have also started seeing another guy who lives an hour away, and we have plans of visiting eachother soon.

 

Well, Eric knows that I see other people (so does the other guy). A couple of days ago I casually asked him if he had been with anyone else lately. He has. We´ve been talking on a daily basis and seeing eachother whenever we can. He seems to like me a lot, and I really appreciate it that he listens to what I need. He´s accomodating, patient, and easy to be with. I try to be the same for him.

 

Well... I´m pretty sure he was with the other girl yesterday because he was pretty evasive about what he had done yesterday. I didn´t ask, but I just had a gut feeling. And that´s ok because it´s our agreement, and I´d rather not have it rubbed in my face anyway. But I am jealous!!!!

I know I am seeing someone else as well, and I have no right to feel this way, but I can´t help it. I´m only human. He doesn´t seem to get jealous (or at least hides it well), so I don´t understand why I am. I feel like I can´t trust him, but in my head I know that´s ridiculous.

 

I know it seems like I want to have my cake and eat it too, but I´m starting to think the issues are bigger. I am very adamant about telling my dates that I´m not looking for anything serious, especially after some of you called me on acting like a player, and I´m beggining to think I´m not letting things happen naturally. I feel like I´m always pulling out a notebook full of rules and guidelines so nobody gets confused about what is actually happening.

 

I had stopped dating completely for almost two years since I felt I needed time to just be by myself (I´ve been in and out of relationships since age 13). After I decided I wanted to start dating again, one guy who was interested in me told me that he thought I was a lesbian because I was never with anybody, and I never gave him the time of day (very rude)... And now it´s like I´m scared or I´ve forgotten how to date. I´m so protective of myself. I feel like I can´t handle anything that isn´t very easy and casual, but inside I´m just dying for someone to just reach out and take me.

 

I know this might sound odd to ask, but how can I just relax and let things happen? Has anybody ever found themselves acting like this after not dating for a while? Does anyone know of some ancient or secret technique that will help me to freak out a little less at the prospect of falling in love? Lol! Any insight is appreciated. Thanks.

[Superfly81]

Hey,

 

from a male's point of view: what you are experiencing is normal. Women want what they can't have, right? So when you feel Eric is slipping away... that does something to you.

 

If you don't date for a while (I am single since March) you tend to like it on your own and don't like anyone coming too close... that's what I'm feeling. But the right kind of partner will take that all away.

 

So if you keep feeling it, you didn't meet the right partner if you ask me.