Anyone got any idea's?

[Osram]

I've wrote this out about three times and it looks so silly so I'm going to do it like a simple stupid man,

 

I'm 19, this is my first proper relationship.

 

I met her in July 2009 (she went to my collage), we became faint friends, we both liked xbox and played now and then.

 

In December we really got talking and started to really become best friends, we had so much in common, obviously because I think she's so amazing and beautiful I fall in love with her.

 

In April 2010 I decide to tell her and she tells me I feel the same way but she's not ready for a relationship, I was upset but I had a really good friend.

 

On May 9th 2010 we got together, we spent all our time together doing everything we enjoyed, we finished collage and neither of us had a job but we enjoyed each others company so much, it was hard to find one and leave the other one. Eventually we both got jobs. However our relationship was still going strong. The first year of our relationship was rock solid, it was easily the best year of my life, I loved her so much.

 

From late June 2011 things got a bit rocky, I got a new job with the same hours as hers and we were getting a bit frustrated, we never got to see each other and when we did we didn't really enjoy each others company, however when we did both have a day off it was amazing.

 

In July things got a little worse and we had a little fight over absolutely nothing and I being the idiot I am finished with her, the same night I told her how sorry I was, what I massive mistake I made, how much I loved her, however I really hurt her the next day I got a bouquet of 12 roses sent to her work with a sorry message on them . This made me really depressed, about a week of not really hearing from her and me thinking I had lost her she text me telling me she did miss me but I'd really hurt her and she didn't know what to do.

 

She made her mind up that she wasn't sure but said she didn't mind "seeing me" which means where we're not in a "relationship" but we do similar things, at first she was unsure if she should hold my hand, sometimes she really wanted to but sometimes she felt really awkward. We were still having sex and snuggling well watching TV. We didn't see each other as much however the time we got together we really appreciated, things started getting better and better.

 

The Last week of seeing her: (My Mother also became very sick through this last week from stress from work.)

 

Over the end of August was her birthday and we both booked a week off, I Think from the 7 days I saw her 4/5 times.

 

Day 1, It was nice just to be off work we relaxed most of the day watching films, going into town for a few bits and came back and got a takeaway, I remember her telling me that she wasn't sure if she should get back in a relationship with me because she didn't think I loved her, I don't know what made her think this, maybe since we were not in a relationship I was acting laid back because I didn't want to look needy or clingy. Apparently before when we were together I made her feel to smothered and restricted from seeing some of her friends. I do agree to this only because they I knew they liked her more then "friends" - even she knew that did. (I'm 100% sure she would never do anything like that though I just didn't like the idea of them seeing her.) After finding out she wasn't she if she should get back with me because she didn't think I loved her I decided to play it cool and let her make her mind up.

 

Day 2, I couldn't sleep around but we spent most of the day with our friends and only saw each other at night it was a average night.

 

Day 3 I didn't see her.

 

Day 4 I saw her at night

 

Day 5, her birthday. That day I had her card prepared a big one with a bear and a hear, I bought her portal 2 for xbox 360, which she loved, I got her a bouquet of cupcakes, which was raped with her name and happy birthday and I also gave her £250, 100 towards her Gears of War's xbox and 150 towards our Holiday in the end of October. I also got her a few bits like scratchcards and chocolate. She was really happy with the presents and the same night me and her went for a meal for two, which I didn't think would happen as she is big about her family, especially on her birthday. So I thought she might have forgave me from July. That night I had to go and stay with my Mum as she was really ill, I didn't know how to tell her but I just delivered the bad news and went home.

 

Day 6 she was annoyed I didn't sleep over but we had a little shop around just an average day.

 

Day 7 Is our last day off and she decides to spend it with me, I'm really happy at this and we go catch a film and go have a meal, the tempo of the night was going really nice and we had a massive laugh and a great time.

 

Since then I've not seen her for three days due to both of us being at work, we had a little fight however I thought he was sorted everything out, the forth night I was meant to pick her up from work however my friends asked me to come out, I'm never seeing my friends so I ask Her if I can go the night before, she sourly says yes..

 

That day I felt really funny however went out on my day off, she was stuck at work all day, at 10PM i offered to go back to hers for a bit, she turned me down.

 

The next day I had work I feel really * * * * ty and she goes out shopping with a couple of her friends for someones birthday, well I'm at home almost bed bound I start to get really depressed after not seeing her and especially with my mum who's really ill, so I decide to call her, no answer, so I text her, no reply, I start getting really worried, I started calling/texting her and eventually I get a really blunt reply, in the state I'm in a feel bad enough so I keep calling her and all to explain.

That night at like 2:30 am we start talking on the phone and she seemed like she had a really nice time bar me ruining it, I try to explain my situation but it's to stressful for her and she's got enough on her plate. That night I find I'm coming down with chicken pox, this is going to put even more of a delay on seeing her, and she does not want to catch it from me, she told me she would see me when it gets better, but there is still bad blood between us.

 

For the next two days I send her nice text's like, "I hope your alright xxx" or "I'm missing you baby xxx" and she might send one or two half hearted replied back.

 

The next day I get a text hows she's been thinking and she can't see us being together anymore, how it's not fair on either of us, how it's been hanging over her and she can't deal with it any longer.

 

What can I do to try get her back? Please someone help me She's the love of my life.

[camus154]

You can't.

 

Sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear. But you just can't. Your best bet is to move forward and move on.

[Osram]

Right now It's 3 going on 4 days after I got that text, we're not really spoke much since, She sent me a text saying "I just want to know you're okay please text me x" then I said I'm ok you? x and she said "That's alright then, I'm fine x"

[Osram]

Anyone else? got any last stitch things I can do?

[Nearbot]

Go NC. It really seemed like you were smothering her and that your life evolved around her. Focus on hobbies, career goals, your mom, etc.

[Deciduous]

Your best bet is to move forward and move on.

 

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I think it's a little bit early to "move forward and move on".

 

It sounds like you were both struggling with normal ups and downs of a long term relationship. Some-times you get on like a house on fire and sometimes you irritate the heck out of each other. That's life. Many couples look back on the early sunshine and roses days of the relationship and wonder where it all went wrong. They think something is terribly amiss if things aren't absolutely perfect, like in the movies. But real relationships aren't like this. There are boring bits, bits where you don't love them as much, even bits when you wish they'd get the hell out of your life.

 

So, she says she can't see you guys being together any-more. Fine. Let her experience what life is like without you. Don't say a peep. Let her wonder what you are thinking, what you are doing and what you are planning. Do not beg and do not plead. It won't work right now and will only make her dig her heels in. You will have to do the toughest thing you have ever done in your life and give her space.

 

Go No Contact in these circumstances. Retreat. Let her come to you in every instance. Do not chase her. She needs to come to you. If she sends you a message and I have a feeling she will, keep your reply non commital and very, very short. Don't discuss your issues by text. If she opens up that dialogue tell her that you prefer to meet face to face.

 

Wait this one out for now. Do not react. Right now all she sees are the bad bits of your relationship. The bits she is getting rid of. But that is not the whole story. There were good part too.

 

She was worried that you didn't love her enough. You go hang out with your friend and suddenly its all over? Really? Seems this was an impulsive decision. Let the dust settle. Back off. Go no contact and hold strong.

 

Deci