Confused about what to do

[nexrad2004]

I met this girl a couple weeks ago through one of those personals sites, and we've been talking ever since on the phone or over instant messenger. (We've never actually met, but we live pretty close to each other and have seen each other's pictures.) Anyway, last week I asked her if she would want to come golfing with me sometime, but I wasn't sure when a good time would be because of things I had going on. She said she would like to, but that she had never gone before. I thought that was even better. (I don't know why, I just did. I was thinking golf would be a good first "date" since it's really relaxed, and I'd heard that from other people as well.

 

Anyway, we kept talking like I said, and Monday I asked her (over IM) if she would want to go Thursday of this week, and she said sure. I told her I would call her sometime Wednesday to figure out when a good time would be, so I called that day and talked to her, asking her if she was still up for going as long as it wasn't raining (it's been pretty crappy here lately). She said she was up for it, and I suggested a time and she asked me to call her again the next day before I left. So, I called her again the next day (Thursday) and got her voicemail. I left a message saying I was about to leave, and she called back about 10 minutes later and said she didn't hear the phone when I called. Then she started telling me how nervous she was about playing, since she's never gone before, and wasn't sure she wanted to today (Thursday). At that point I started teasing her a little bit and said I'd be the only one making fun of her and stuff like that, and she started laughing, but she still said she didn't know if she wanted to go. So then I asked her if it was playing that she was nervous about, or if she was nervous about meeting me. She said it wasn't about me, but she asked if I had anything going on tomorrow (Friday) because she thought it would be better for her. I told her I wasn't sure what I had going on, but said I hadn't really made any plans. Then I said something about how it was supposed to rain Friday, and she just said that if it did we'd do something else, so I was cool with that. I agreed to it, and then we just started talking about this, that, and the other thing for about an hour. Finally, the conversation ended, and she asked me to give her a call Friday about the same time (about noon), but then she said something along the lines of "feel free to call me tonight too if you get bored, because I'm sure I will be." I took that as a pretty big hint that she wanted me to call, but I didn't call because I had stuff going on that night.

 

Anyway, Friday (today) rolls around and I called her again about 11:45 AM or so, and got her voicemail again and told her I was getting ready to leave. She called back like 3 seconds after I hung up (seriously) and I could tell right away that something was up. It sounded like she was sick or something. She told me that last night (Thursday) she got in a huge fight with a friend of hers, and I guess there was some alcohol involved, so in the course of their fight and whatever else was going on she had too much to drink and she was now feeling the after effects of it. She told me that she wasn't up to doing anything right then, but asked me what I was doing tonight because she still wanted to get together and didn't have any other plans. I told her that I had tentative plans to do something with a couple friends where I live, but nothing was set in stone yet. Then she started talking to me about something else unrelated and I was on the phone with her for about 15 minutes. Anyway, she told me she was going to get ahold of me later this afternoon, but I never did hear from her.

 

I guess my point is that I just don't know what's going on. I don't know if she's just blowing me off or what. From the way everything has gone so far, I don't think that's the case, but I'm not completely sure. Also, I could have sworn that she told me earlier this week that she had plans to go to some party tonight, so I don't know if she forgot about it when she was talking to me and suddenly remembered or what, thus forgetting about what she said to me earlier in the day. So, what I'm asking is, should I wait a couple days and call her again unless I hear from her, or should I just say forget it? I don't want to seem "needy" or anything, but I also don't want to jump to any negative conclusions, if you know what I mean.

 

Thoughts?

 

(Sorry this is so long. Sometimes I just get carried away.

[erjacob]

Hey nexrad2004,

sound's like your girl is a good one but she is just nervous about being with you. that is a very special thing to happen. I think you should just pop in for a visit and take her out to dinner. then you can get plans to go golfing or some other date.

good luck with your girl

[nexrad2004]

It turns out everything is fine. I just talked to her over instant messenger, and the first thing she did was apologize to me about yesterday, saying that after she talked to me on the phone she went back to sleep and didn't wake up until later that night, still feeling horrible, and that's why she never called. I teasingly told her that she is really lucky I'm understanding, which she got a kick out of. Then she asked me if I was doing anything tonight, and that if I wasn't and found something exciting to do, I should invite her. I told her about something I was possibly doing with a friend and his girlfriend, and asked her if she wanted to come, and she said "yes" to it. I told her I'd call her later this afternoon when I found out when we were going to go tonight, and she said she'd turn her ringer up so she wouldn't miss my call.

 

So it appears that everything is fine. I figured it was, just based on the way everything else with her has gone, but I still had that feeling that something wasn't right, you know?