Being over not having a parent/child relationship with your parent

[scared and alone]

Is that a bad thing ? It's not that the parent is OUT of your life, but rather you have accepted that it will never be the relationship you wish it had been? And it's not that you don't love each other (in whatever way that you do), but in a way, it's better that you have accepted it. I just sadly think sometimes, you have to accept if a relationship with a family member isn't gonna be how it SHOULD be or how you WANT it to be. I resented it for a LONG time, but now, i'm fine with it. I have other people to fill that void and I'm OK with it. And even more, realizing its not YOU, it is THEM. And it's not even that they are TERRIBLE, but you realize that for whatever reason, they just don't have it in them to be THAT. And I actually feel bad for them on that part. And that makes you realize you will be an even better parent because of that. Either way, it is a weird realization to come to. To let go of that anger and disappointment. And even more to NOT be upset or sad about it. Because for some reason, i'm NOT upset anymore. It is sad in a way, but its more sadness for them (the parent). oh well. I'm just glad that I don't let it get to me anymore.

[Miss Kitty]

I keep trying this approach with my dad. I hope someday I am as successful as you. It's hard to be hated by the person that created you and is supposed to love you. It makes it even harder when there's the stupid little part of you that always loved him.

[Oneironaut]

This is important. Bad parenting tends to travel along family lines, which is the REALLY sad part. Recognizing that they missed out on something unique and vowing to yourself NOT to make the same mistake is the most important part of your healing, and makes you, by far, the more mature person.

[Kitkat973]

You can't force something that isn't there. It sounds like you have a healthy attitude about it and have found a balance that works for you. It might not be what everyone else does, but if it works for you, you should go with it.