StillWaitingForAGoodDay Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Im 16 years old and soon to be starting colledge next week. Im gay but not out, but everyone more or less knows I am- though i will deny it and try to cover it up, its still noticeable! I fancy this guy in my year a lot and recently he's been 'flirting' with me. I mean i dont know if he's being serious or not. Not to long ago I remember he used to act quite homophobic, but now he has changed and acts quite camp and 'flirts' with a few other guys. Now im confused as hell! Is he curious or even gay but in the closet? And shud I tell him how I feel? Im afraid that if ive read him wrong the whole school will find out and my parents and I will be soo embarrished coz i dont want ppl to find out Im gay that way. Help! Link to comment
mickk311 Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 you really do have to face your issuse, it is your life,please dont waste what you have even if the rest of them are so called different. why should you suffer because of being a monority, be proud of being gay its not like you can change it. Link to comment
Edge_of_6_feet Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Ok, I'm not gay nor do I ever plan on being gay but before you feel this guy out you yourself need to come out of the closet that way it doesn't get around in a bad way. You yourself need to sit down and disguss it with your parents..don't expect them to take it lightly but that's what you need to do...and I think that the guy is p robably just curious around the age of 16 guys get curious and normally start questioning their sexuality no matter who they are.. Link to comment
abcd1234 Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Before you tell this guy that you have feelings for him, you need to come out and be open about being gay. Im not gay myself but one kid at my school is, from what i can understand about his situation it was very difficult for him to come out and a lot of people teased and bullied him about it. If you tell this guy that you like him, everyone is going to find out no matter how he reacts, thats just the way it is. You have to be prepared for certain people who could possibly hold it against you. abcd1234 Link to comment
RayKay Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 I think you ought to come out, and not deny who you are any longer? Sure, it will be hard at times, but it is harder to keep denying it and not being able to be yourself? My brother came out while he was in high school, and while there were some people (mostly guys) who would say rude comments to him afterwards, he felt much better about who he was. He answered their jesting comments with "Sorry baby, you are not my type, I like real men" etc...since they used to say things like "Eww, I think he is checking me out" etc. Usually shut them up, or at least made them lose some of the luster they had in front of their friends. He did not care, he knew who he was and was proud of that. He came out to the family first, and we have all been very supportive and proud of him (my mother has impressed me tremendously - she is on the city's Pride committee (first and only straight person on it in fact) and marches with him in Pride parade, etc). As to this other guy, it is hard to say...maybe he is and like you is not out, or maybe he isn't and is just a naturally flirtatious person (with anyone). Does he flirt with YOU at all? Best of luck to you in any case Link to comment
StillWaitingForAGoodDay Posted August 27, 2004 Author Share Posted August 27, 2004 ok so everyones tellin me to come out...easier said than done! Cud it not be possible that I tell him and keep my fingers crossed that he is gay, so that way i dont have to come out. Im pretty sure he is gay, im like 99.9 per-cent sure he is curious. I know the consequences if hes not. But if he is gay then i dont need to come out to my family. I do plan to come out, but not just yet. Do I take the risk? Link to comment
StillWaitingForAGoodDay Posted August 27, 2004 Author Share Posted August 27, 2004 In response to your question Raykay, he does flirt with me a lot and others-whom are also guys. There is quite a lot of touchin, and eye contact between me and him and he's always saying flirtatous things and in his body langauge to. Thanks for ur post it helped! and to everyone else. Link to comment
RayKay Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 In response to your question Raykay, he does flirt with me a lot and others-whom are also guys. There is quite a lot of touchin, and eye contact between me and him and he's always saying flirtatous things and in his body langauge to. Thanks for ur post it helped! and to everyone else. If he is flirting with you there is a chance. Perhaps before he was trying to in a way "deny it". On the other hand, he may be doing it unconsciously and may still be denying it to himself if he is, and so you need to be very careful in that case. Does he know/suspect you are gay? If yes and he is still flirting with you, maybe he is. Just maybe spend some more time with him and you should figure it out. If you feel comfortable asking him, do, but be careful as it might get thrown in your face. Follow your intuition...as my brother would say, use your "gaydar". Of course, he also says that even those who are straight are "curious" P.S. I hope one day you can come out to your family while you are still fairly young - not sure what their beliefs are, but they will love you regardless - you sound like a good kid. Link to comment
StillWaitingForAGoodDay Posted August 27, 2004 Author Share Posted August 27, 2004 I havent come out to him but he knows im as gay as the day is old and still comes onto me. I think ur right about spending time with him and figuring him out. Then I'll risk it and tell him I have feelings for him if I get the right signals. Thanks for ur advice once again RayKay it really helps and I appreciate it. Bring on next term baby! Link to comment
jamesy1234 Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 Yes, I think you should spend more time, but don't come out to him. Talk about people being gay and see his reaction, maybe you should be touchy back when the opportunity arises, and see where that takes you. Don't put your foot in it, feel around a bit more !! If he has no problem with people being gay, tell him that sometimes you think you may be gay, and then he may even tell you or give you the opportunity to ask him. Link to comment
curtis Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Hey, do you want my advice...? I went though the same sort of stuff when i was at school. If the guy was acting very straight and all the rest of it and has just suddendly made some sort of change i am guessing that him and some other people are in it with him because they want to catch you out. They have probley made a dare and that person is going to have to find out if your gay or not... So help your self out i know its hard if you have feeling for him just ignore him and try not to get distracted by him if he is really gay and was acting straight before and is now of Fem the chances are he just wants to get the girls faster. So i am not saying he is or isn't because i cant make that choice but i hope the advice i gave you will help... Curtis... Link to comment
StillWaitingForAGoodDay Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 Jamesy, thanks for that, soo simple yet effective. How foolish not to have thought of it sooner! Curtis, thanks for the warning! Youve reminded me of the risk and sort of brought be back to reality by tellin me about the negative possibilities that cud come as a result. I need to be careful I know. Thanks a million to both of u, it helped! Link to comment
StillWaitingForAGoodDay Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 oh btw Jamesy, I DO 'touchy' back and he seems fine with it and even enjoys it. Link to comment
jamesy1234 Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 well it depends on where you touch him, if its just on the arm or leg forget it. Try his butt, and see, if he likes it and touches you back. If so, just touch him and say nothing unless he stops you, then take i from there. Rub his shoulder and massage his back and see how it goes. If you get this far, then go for the rest. But have a few beers first. Link to comment
StillWaitingForAGoodDay Posted September 1, 2004 Author Share Posted September 1, 2004 yea Ive rubbed his booty a few times and he doesnt stop me. And I always tell him that he has a fine ass. He doesnt touch my ass, but he likes to feel the muscles on my arms! Link to comment
jamesy1234 Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 sounds like he sure is gay, if your touched his booty and he does not object, then your there !!! So just go for it, take his hand and put it on your booty and see what he does then !!! Again is it hard when you touch it ??? Link to comment
StillWaitingForAGoodDay Posted September 2, 2004 Author Share Posted September 2, 2004 Is it hard when I touch it? Do you mean his meat and 2 veg??? I dunno, ive never dared venture that far...yet! Link to comment
jamesy1234 Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 what to do mean his booty then??? if its not his privates Link to comment
sariak Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Hi.. i envy those guys who can decide when to come out.. if you try to be me you whold rather die.. arabs are fully hetrosexuals and i can say that people here do not even believe that gay relaitionships exist! what can i do other than surrendering.. Link to comment
xbox_modding_freak Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 go for it u got nutin to lose.... if u show ppl ure not gunna eat em just cuz u gay maybe they will accept it alsos ure really brave if u cum out into the open other ppl just cant accept u cuz ure different my advice -XmF Link to comment
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