When is it too much?

[diana084]

How often do you usually call your mate? everyday? and if so,for how long do you talk? Do you think its ok to talk every other day? I think that since we're in long distance relationships we should at least talk to our mates everyday,at least 10 minutes but I dont know what everyone else thinks.So let me know how often you talk to them and when you think its too much.

[PAdreamer]

The frequency depends on the people involved. Some people like to be called or make a call every day. Some people can go for weeks at a time without hearing from their significant other. It just depends.

[shygirl23]

My boyfriend lives only 25 minutes away but we call each other 1-3 times every day. We talk for hours and hours, basically until we have to go to sleep. We're usually on the phone until after midnight. And these are our short conversations. We've talked on the phone, non-stop for over 7 hours. That's our record so far. If I were you, I probably wouldn't use me and my boyfriend as an example, because we're obviously crazy.

 

Edit: You asked when we thought it would be too much... My (probably obvious) answer: It would never be too much. Never. Never. Never.

[MissJBug]

I talk to my boyfriend 4 times or more a day. Even if we arent seeing eachother. I call him to say whats up or whatever. Its normal to call acouple times. Their your boyfriend/girlfriend...your aloud!

[faeriechyld]

Since my boyfriend is in the military, his phone time is somewhat limited to when he's not on duty of some sort or when he doesn't have something more pressing he needs to do. Usually he calls at least every other day, but I've gone for about a week before without hearing from him while he was in tech school, and boot camp was the worst, he could only call once a week and that was only for like 5 minutes.

 

However, in another LDR I had inbetween my freshman and what would have been my sophomore year of college, my boyfriend and I talked everyday or close to it, and the phone bills were horrendous, believe me.

 

There are other ways to communicate if the phone is too much of a time issue. My boyfriend actually just email me a bit ago to let me know he couldn't call tonight, so when phone isn't an option, a quick email just to let the person know you're thinking of them is nice.

[Mermaid]

My boyfriend lives in Seattle and I live in Boston. We normally talk several times a day thanks to having great cell plans (though mine is better than his). We also IM a lot! And as shygirl said, it could never be too much!

[diana084]

Well my bf and I used to talk everyday but only in the evenings since I work mostly afternoons and he goes to school in the mornings so its hard to get to talk at any other hour.We usually talk for hours but I think thats become sort of a problem cause we start talking around 10 or sometimes 11 p.m or later and dont hang up until 1 or 2 a.m so we're trying to talk less.

[Francis]

I talk with my xbf about 6 times a day, at least. He calls when he gets to work. Just before lunch, after lunch, during breaks, after work, after dinner and before bed, every day. Used to be worst when we were together. We NEVER run out of topics of conversation.

[goddess23]

well everyone is different, and it depends on the people. but me personally, me n my bf see eachother everyday in school, and spend hours on msn after school just talking. as well as an hour after school just chilling, but we use some of that time for other stuff lol. but ya, we RARELY talk on the phone, but his parents dont know about us and stuff so its just easier not to. and on weekends, we dont talk AT ALL, im rarely online and he goes to his cousins, so we just send about 3-4 emails during weekends. thats why right now im missing him like crazy because i havnt had ANY contact with him for over a month!! he went on vacation...half way accross the world. but i think at least 4 times a week a couple should be in some type of contact (in general circumstances). if your regular scheduales dont allow that much, then its a problem. but i dont think everyday is a necessity.

[kizzyfur]

Funny, I was just wondering about this myself. I would love to talk to my BF a few times a day. However, I'm not quite sure he feels the same way. If I don't call him, he can go for a couple days without contacting me. I've gone a week without hearing from him. It sometimes makes me wonder if I'm not bugging him when I call him; especially when I call and wake him in the mornings then call again when he get's in from work. But he tells me he enjoys when I do call. When I ask why he doesn't call me he always says he loses track of time. It does make me question whether or not he really loves me as much as he says. I personally find it difficult to understand how you can love someone and not want to at least hear his/her voice once a day, if not more.

[talon_9333]

My girlfriend lives in Seattle so we have to keep communication up. We IM and email throughout the day, mostly after i get off work and until our cell phone plans go to unlimited night minutes. We call each other at 9 and talk for about 2 hours every night. When i can't hear from her for just one day. The distance starts to become much more realisitic. Constant communication is the key ^^

[Mermaid]

Maybe you should ask him, point blank. He's probably just not as phone-minded as you, but I'm sure he doesn't mind hearing from you.

 

My boyfriend is actually the one who wanted to talk more at the beginning of our relationship. It took awhile for me to get into the habit (mainly because I despise the phone, otherwise), but now I love talking to him as much as he does me. And he's the type that will call me from the supermarket or the car just to say, "I love you." And it makes me feel so good, so ... needless to say... I've become quite a fan of the phone. Actually, my cell phone is like my conjoined twin these days.

 

 

[kizzyfur]

Maybe you should ask him, point blank. He's probably just not as phone-minded as you, but I'm sure he doesn't mind hearing from you.

My boyfriend is actually the one who wanted to talk more at the beginning of our relationship. It took awhile for me to get into the habit (mainly because I despise the phone, otherwise), but now I love talking to him as much as he does me. And he's the type that will call me from the supermarket or the car just to say, "I love you." And it makes me feel so good, so ... needless to say... I've become quite a fan of the phone. Actually, my cell phone is like my conjoined twin these days.

 

 

Thanks Mermaid. I have asked him about it many times. He always tells me he really enjoys when I call him (even if I wake him or catch him while he's busy). But since he doesn't call me so much it tends to make me feel like I'm bothering him. You're probably right though. He has started to call me more often. Like just today he called while he was on a break from work . Guess it might be because he's not used to having someone who likes to talk just to hear his voice every day. His ex-wife used to call him up just to yell at him for things he had nothing to do with. So I guess I should just work on getting over my insecurities.

 

Thank you again for pointing out that not everyone thinks about calling even if he/she does really love his/her significant other.

 

I apologize to the original poster. Didn't mean to hijack your thread . In answer to your question, I love to hear my mans voice at least once a day.

[Mermaid]

Maybe you should ask him, point blank. He's probably just not as phone-minded as you, but I'm sure he doesn't mind hearing from you.

My boyfriend is actually the one who wanted to talk more at the beginning of our relationship. It took awhile for me to get into the habit (mainly because I despise the phone, otherwise), but now I love talking to him as much as he does me. And he's the type that will call me from the supermarket or the car just to say, "I love you." And it makes me feel so good, so ... needless to say... I've become quite a fan of the phone. Actually, my cell phone is like my conjoined twin these days.

 

 

Thanks Mermaid. I have asked him about it many times. He always tells me he really enjoys when I call him (even if I wake him or catch him while he's busy). But since he doesn't call me so much it tends to make me feel like I'm bothering him. You're probably right though. He has started to call me more often. Like just today he called while he was on a break from work . Guess it might be because he's not used to having someone who likes to talk just to hear his voice every day. His ex-wife used to call him up just to yell at him for things he had nothing to do with. So I guess I should just work on getting over my insecurities.

 

Thank you again for pointing out that not everyone thinks about calling even if he/she does really love his/her significant other.

 

I apologize to the original poster. Didn't mean to hijack your thread . In answer to your question, I love to hear my mans voice at least once a day.

 

No problem!

 

And from you said about his ex, it sounds like he's had reason to shy away from phone calls in the past. So give him time, and I'm sure he'll start being more pro-active and taking the initiative to call you more. Sounds like he's on his way.