Life seems to be kicking me in the ovaries again. (Vent)

[Moontiger]

Ok, so I know I have made other threads that are similar to this but for some reason I am having a really hard night and need to get this out.

 

I am going to be turning 25 soon,

 

I live with my sister and nanny three days a week. There are advantages to this. I don’t have to pay rent and I get to bond with my niece and will hopefully be titled “Favorite Aunt” when she learns to speak.

 

But I feel so depressed living here. My social life is non-existent. Her house is in the suburbs so there a few people my age around. To get to any sort of event I have to drive in heavy city traffic. Plus, I have noticed that many things I want to go to happen on the three days I am nannying. I have taken some fun six week classes at a local college to try and meet people without success. I joined a gym, go to the local library once a week, yet I am unable to make a circle of friends. In college I was a very social person.

 

I feel like my life is being put on hold so my sister’s life can be more convenient.

 

My career…I have gone on a ton of informational interviews, even got a temp job for a month. But there has been no progress in me becoming independent from my family. I still have to rely on my parents for money which I hate doing. I did recently get an internship (I started out as a volunteer and then asked to be an intern) at a small local museum. I go in three days a week and really like it. I’m signed up for a museum studies class this fall which I am looking forward to.

 

I just feel like my life is going nowhere. I hate it. I started seeing a therapist which is helping me deal with some on the issues I am having. The last time I was in she basically told me (in a very nice non-judgmental therapy way) that I have an anxiety problem. I am going to sign up for a yoga class which I am hoping along with therapy will help me deal. My therapist want to try a few different things and avoid medication if we can.

 

Everything just feel overwhelming right now and the only people I can be completely open with right now are the lovely people here on ENA.

 

Thanks for letting me get that out.

 

MT

[ApocalypseDreams]

Hey Moontiger,

 

I don't know anything about your situation prior to this post so I can only go by what is written here. Don't be to harsh on yourself though! It really does sound like you're putting effort into improving your situation. The gym, night classes, your intership, the library, the museum studies classes and the therapy - well done! That's a fair bit of effort and as someone who is struggling with similar issues I'm envious of you (if not a little inspired)! Don't give up hope, you are doing excellent despite the setbacks and hardships.

 

Meeting people is difficult, I'm struggling with it currently as well. It seems like many people my age (mid 20's) have already established their friendships and cliques and sometimes I feel like there is no room for potential future friendships. However, I guess if people like you and me are looking for new friendships then there are others out there too!

[katycloud]

I agree not to be so harsh on yourself Especially since you are only 25! Most of my best friends are around your age, and they are in the same situation - they still live at home or rely on their parents/family for some support, still forging their career and figuring out what they want to do with life and where they are going to end up. Yes, I think occasionally these things do get you down - sometimes I feel really crummy about still living with my parents and I just want my life to move rapidly forwards! But I think, I'm still young, I've got years ahead of me, I've just got to try my best to move forward and eventually it will happen. You sound like you are extremely proactive in your pursuits for friendship and a job and this is great! Just keep doing what you are doing and things will gradually fall into place and you'll feel more 'independent.' It's great that you're seeing a therapist too, to sort out all those feelings and thoughts inside your head that might be getting you down.

 

The meeting people part is hard as well, I guess that just takes the confidence to step out of your comfort zone and be more open to starting conversations with people you don't know until gradually it builds up into a meaningful relationship! I found the gym is a great place to meet new friends - especially if you attend the same classes in the same time slot each week - you usually see the same people and then you can strike up conversations and feel more comfortable around each other each time you're there.

[Moontiger]

Thank you everyone! I will give a more lengthy reply when I am not posting from my phone.

[Moontiger]

Thank you Jonty and Katy,

 

Part of the problem I am having is that everyone in my family is VERY high achieving. I have three older siblings two of which have law degrees and one did a triple major in college. Same with my parents. One has a law degree and the other has 5 degrees in various feilds (a mix of B.A.s and M.A.s). I find myself comparing my life to theirs a lot.

 

I am can be very shy when it comes to meeting new people. Especially when I feel depressed. So its been difficult, I have done some classes at my gym but must of the people in the classes are not gym members they are just taking one class, then I I don't see/hear from them once the class is over. Though to night I am going to this thing called grubwithus which I am hoping will be fun.

 

Jonty- You are so right! That the thing, I hear all the time "Oh, everyone your age is going through this." Well then where are these people???? I seriously think there should be some sort of social group called "Quarter-life Crisis" so we can all get together and say, "Wow, there are other people out there!"

[ApocalypseDreams]

Part of the problem I am having is that everyone in my family is VERY high achieving. I have three older siblings two of which have law degrees and one did a triple major in college. Same with my parents. One has a law degree and the other has 5 degrees in various feilds (a mix of B.A.s and M.A.s). I find myself comparing my life to theirs a lot.

 

Oh don't I know this! All of my siblings are successes, have it all together and are gifted in their own ways. My eldest sister is exceptionally artistic, creative and runs her own successful graphic design business. My older brother is a highly academic medical scientist and doctor - he gives me a lectures all the time about were I should be and what I should be doing. Finally my other older sister is good looking, has a very well off husband and has the gift of being a great people person.

 

And then there's me...the confused, depressed and mediocre black sheep in the family. I'm happy for them all but sometimes I definitely feel a bit jealous and ashamed at times.

 

Seriously, make sure you perserve with the things you've started with and continue to identify other areas that you can improve on. Don't give into your own self doubts and self sabotage your great progress. I've made that mistake a dozen times before and let the negative thoughts creep back in. You only end up back were you started. You're onto a real good thing here.

 

The 'grubwithus' thing sounds interesting! Let us know how that goes!