3 Weeks NC/ BU..Journal

[NoDice]

This is in unison with my original thread about my Break-Up.

 

Things still get to me, I think about her just as often, I imagine she is doing fine and with someone new /back with her ex. I feel very foolish for not changing the relationship status on Facebook before she did which was nearly a week, Haven't gotten a text/call/anything from her in 17 days..I beat myself over replying to her text on the 4th asking if we could try again only to get slapped down, then losing my job and her thinking I quit.. I know she moved on, she doesn't care anymore, most likely back with her ex by now even though she never seemed like that kind of person..mutual ex friends say they see her more active and wanting to get out more these days, I try to ignore these things. I am sleeping somewhat better lately..I am trying to find some inner peace in this and prepare for the day I run into her, I talk to other girls, I look at other girls, but they don't seem to fit my ideal type which even prior to ever meeting her she had, its shallow, her personality marred her actual beauty..a child in a womans body.. I have to quit thinking about her, and worst of all I lost my wallet in the lake a few days ago, No ID means no pubs/no clubs/limited dates... I can do this though, I need to shes not in control anymore.