I really need your advice

[hippychick11]

I've told my long distance boyfriend (who lives on the opposite side of the world) of 3 years that I am able to move closer to him in 5 months time and I've already got a job set up and made my travel arrangements. I thought he would be thrilled about this news, we love each other and we often talk about how good it would be to live in the same place, see each other every day etc.

 

He was not enthusiastic when I told him about this and said that it is extremely cold in winter and he thinks I won't cope, basically that I should reconsider coming there.

I am so upset, i thought he would be thrilled like I am! it's such a huge deal and of course I've taken the weather into account, it doesn't worry me that much. I love it there, it's beautiful and it's the perfect place that I want to live.

 

I don't know how to talk to him now because I'm disappointed but also slightly mad, we had been talking about the possibilty of this for months and he was happy about the idea, up until I had actually made the plans and now he's saying its not such a good idea because of weather?

 

We had a fight the other night about this, left not talking to each other really and he said the next day 'i hope we can work things out'...that was it.

 

Any advice?

[listed]

Well I think it really depends on his intentions. If he really honestly was concerned about things falling apart because you wouldn't like it there then he should have some other way to demonstrate his desire to be with you. If he's actually hesitant for you to live near eachother then that's a major red flag and you shouldn't go.

[listed]

The fact that you have a strong desire to live there though should be enough, I think he's either overly paranoid or just not committed

[metrogirl]

I'm assuming this is a boyfriend that you have interacted with in person and not a cyber relationship?

[listed]

Like it seems that if he was really into you the desire to be with you would overwhelm any fears he had, like even if he was scared to lose you the desire to be with you would out way that so it seems pretty suspect to me

[Stay_home]

I don't know how to talk to him now because I'm disappointed but also slightly mad, we had been talking about the possibilty of this for months and he was happy about the idea, up until I had actually made the plans and now he's saying its not such a good idea because of weather?

 

I think it might be a little bit more to do with then weather.

[piruru]

^^^Agreeing with ~2 sided coin~ here.

 

He's using the weather thing as an excuse to try and put you off so you don't come over there. Not a good sign.

 

You need to make sure where he's at before you move. Sometimes it could just be the distance talking and that after you see one another again, things will all work out. But you really need to be sure that he doesn't have another things playing on his mind.