scared of panic attacks

[wicked6018]

i'm dealing with all this pain the best i can.

 

i think my anti depressant has helped with my crying and my appetite. so, now i'm just super depressed, but i can get fat and not cry. great. that really helps.

 

today i ran an errand for my mom. it's the first time i've gotten out of the house in three days. on the errand, i suddenly got a very tight chest and it was hard to breathe. i felt like i couldn't get a deep breath. i have had this sensation in years past. i am pretty sure it is caused by stress, but it is such an uncomfortable feeling.

 

a few years ago, i struggled for many, many months with something known as psychosomatic non-epileptic seizures. these are episodes that are pretty much exactly like epileptic seizures, but they are caused by stress or trauma.

 

i really, really do not want these hellish episodes to come back, but this break up is just the thing that could make that happen. i'm scared. i do NOT need such a disrupting thing in my life again when i am already having to deal with the disruption of this break up.

 

i sit here day after day, and i want to not care what he is doing. i want to forget him and all the pain he's caused. but i can't help but wonder if he is out partying with friends, or already with a new girl, as if i never existed.

 

i don't want to have seizures again. and i want to be able to breathe easily.

 

i am one hell of a strong woman, and i know i will survive this. it's just so, so hard.

[dali]

Solder on.... It's all you can do. About the panic attack what anti depressants are on you on? Could be side effects.

[wicked6018]

i'm on lexapro. i've taken it in the past and never had a problem.

[thejigsup]

You just had a panic attack trigger. They can hit you at the darndest moments. Please don't start avoiding things because of this, it only makes it worse. Is there a professional you can talk to near you? Sometime a combination of meds and CBT(Cogniitive behavioral therapy) works much better than meds alone.

[wicked6018]

i'm hoping that i won't have to talk to a professional. it's so expensive. i have so much time on my hands right now; i'm hoping that when college classes start in about a month and a half that the busy work of school will help me. i REALLY hope. i'm so worried that i won't be able to concentrate. it's my last year of school. i was hoping that it would be great and then i would be getting married next summer. crazy how drastically and suddenly my plans changed.