is he being insensitive?

[anathema]

so I'm doing pretty well with the NC. Well sort of. I called my ex of a week today just to ask how his week went. No other intentions, just talked like friends. But he mentioned something about looking forward to going back to college and seeing if there are any potential 1st years for him. In a joking sense. But wasn't that a little insensitive or am I being TOO sensitive? Maybe I wasn't ready for that phonecall......

[genz44]

He most likely thought you were a bit more over the break-up than you actually were. He may have been a touch insensitive, but don't take it too personal. Its like you said, he was joking to a friend.

[water_baby]

this is how i see it. You call him after the breakup and call as "a friend" which may well be what you both said you wanted but to here your once girlfriend sound in "friend mode" and sounding "moved on" would be weird. he might have been just following suit, both of you doing the whole "just friends" thing. i can see why you thought it sounded insensitive because i would have been hurt too but that is what the situation is now. its been a week so stay cool, it sounds like you are doing well. maybe you should do the NC for a bit longer. keep me updated. good luck

waterbaby

[Mr Mister1]

who ended it?

of he did then yes he's being very incensitive and franky, downright nasty

if you ended it then maybe he was being spiteful

 

either way i dont think you should say things like that, not even in a joking sense

[anathema]

It was him that broke it off a little more than a week ago.

We wanted to stay friends afterwards partly due to the fact we attend college together and in another week we'll be seeing each other every day. Personally, i wish that weren't the case just so I can do NC. But things are the way they are. So taking advice from this forum, I thought I would be strong, not bring up our relationship, not be needy or emotional in that phone conversation. Hopefully be friendly and the person he fell for before. But I did not intend to come accross that I was completely okay with the breakup and that I've moved on after one week. Hope he didn't take it that way, so he felt he could make that insensitive comment. It's so hard to find a balance - what should I do!!!

[Mr Mister1]

I'm going to be really harsh and say that if he says things like that then he doesn't deserve you as a friend.

 

Maybe he was trying to get a reation out of you to see if you still cared?

 

May I ask why he ended it?

[anathema]

He broke it up because of commitment issues on his part. Said we lost the spark and all that jazz. Now I just don't know how to be around him, to be strong and letting him know that I'm not needy, yet not too aloof to make him think that I don't care anymore. Usually it would be okay if I could keep my distance for a while, but because of the school factor, I have to see him everyday!