Is it possible to escape the friendzone I am in?

[Ratman81]

Hi new to the site so hello everyone.

 

Ok, I have recently developed or possibly acknologed feelings for my best friend. This was something of a surprise to me as we had been friends for over 6 years without this ever being an issue before. Some background first, she has been single since Christmas, for 5 years beofre that she was going out with one of my friends and indeed living with us for 3 years. As she has always been attached while I have known her I never developed my feelings in the romantic direction, there was a barrier there. She thinks of me as one of her best friends and she is my best friend. I just turned 30 and she is 26. She is finishing her final year of university this September so will be away for much of the year and not coming back to ine on weekends anymore. In a recent conversation she was telling me about how she does not want to pressure and hassle of a relationship this year as she will be concentrating on her degree.

 

Now to my actual dilemma whether its possible I can get out of the friendzone and whether I should say anything to her at all. Her friendship is very important to me, but wrong or right my feelings have changed and I can;t change them back. The problem is I miss her when shes not around, but now when I see her it feels strange and upset, I find myself analysing everything, watching my words, I think I may have already destroyed the friendship on my own. She may not be ready for a relationship now, but she might be in the future if I were to say to her that I'd like her to be thinking about me when the time comes could that kill the friendship dead. SHould I say nothing and just try and be the best friend I can be to her. If I am going to try and get out of the zone what should I be doing. We go out a lot on our own such as to the cinema last night, but while I have become aware of her, I don;t get the signs that shes aware of me as anything other than a mate.

 

Help please.

[Eocsor]

It's hard to get out of the friend zone if thats been your relationship for a number of years. If you try and make a move you risk the friendship and it's sometimes not possible to go back to that. If you are really interested, ask her out for dinner one night and tell her you are interested in her. Might be awkward, but thats about the only way I can think of to do it. Best of luck.

[gg321]

I was in the sort of same situation... basically i met her through friends, we clicked but because we lived a couple of hours apart we hardly saw each other. For the past 2 yrs weve been texting near enough every day even its its just to see how each others day is going. I developed feelings for her but never really acted on them, even when she was with me because i was scared of loosing a friend as well of loosing a girl i liked. But not acting on it is the worst thing i did in my opinion, since then she had some bad news in her family and ive been there for her whenever shes needed me and now shes texting me thanking me for just being me and things like shes never known a guy like me etc..

 

My point is that you could tell her how you feel and risk loosing a friend or making it 'awkard' or carry on hoping she has an eye opener on how good you are for her, it depends how you feel about your friendship against how much you want this girl.. if your willing to loose a friendship for the possiblilty of a relationship then go for it! Its such an akward situation and i know how you feel! good luck on whatever you decide to do!

[Ratman81]

Thank you for the replies. I don;t want this to be an all or nothing kind of situation, lets be honest those rarely go well. basically whilst I have recently come to see her as more than just a friend, but as a beautiful woman and possible romance, she still just sees me as a friend, she is not aware of me as being a man she could be romantic with. Rather than just come out and say something and risk discomforting her or driving away, what I really need are any tips or hints, anything that could let me subltely change her view of me before I risk telling her.