SEX WITH THE EX.......

[Rosa]

well, we broke up 4 months, ago, and had sex about 6 times after that, mututal agreement, I was hurt in the beginning after sex, we lived together for 1 yr, dated for another, our sex life was VERY HEALTHY, we are both very sexually attracted to each other, last time we had sex, I was gonna pass by to pick up the mail, and I ended up sleeping over, didn't discuss anything about us, just plain good old sex, with of course passion, and reminicing of those great experiences together, laughter about silly acts, play fight, we seemed like two little kids just discovering our sexuality, and boy was it good, I left that morning happy, we saw each other 2 days later at a mutual friends baby shower and played it out like we hadn't seen each other in weeks, (kinda weird) the looks were still there, but we both went our separate ways after the little party, its been about 3 weeks since we slept together, and i know he's dating someone new, i'm also, but that urge to sleep with him, is so tempting, I know we are over, its been over, I mean i don;t think we can never be friends for the same reason, that attraction is too powerful, but we just can;t get along, we fight too much, even when we fought we were passionate about it, and so I think is more like a lust feeling, rather than love, so now all that's left is sex, I know if I make that phone call its on, and emotionally I think I can handle it, i just don;t know if its worth giving him the satisfaction all over again.....

what is wrong with me, has this ever happened to anyone else? ](*,)

am i just hitting this wall everytime??

he's probably already had sex with his new chick, he's too much of a hornball to hold on for long, i would definitely ask for a condom, that's not the problem, but i just miss that kind of intimacy and passion, and freedom that anything goes between both of us, you know that confortable feeling??......my new crush is not as passionate, I think I'm too much for him, (not to be high on myself about these things, but am not a shy girl about my sexuality) but he's just such a "nice guy" type of guy, and after being with the "bad guy" i'm trying to divert this pattern, but I do miss the bad boy ways in bed,

I want to take my time with this nice guy, so i'm not there yet in letting him know too much about my sexuality's do's and dont's. not yet, its too soon......but in the mean time, i can't stop thinking about sex with the ex.

DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND ME???? [-o

[Finch]

I understand you. My ex-girlfriend and I had broke up and continued to have sex just as much even after we broke up. We're still having sex today and we broke up sometime in March. I feel a little guilty about having sex with her since we aren't a couple, but I guess since it is mutual and I'm not seeing anybody it isn't wrong technically.

 

She is not really seeing anybody, but there is this guy that she's been interested in. Nothing serious though. I'm basically the bad boy and this new guy is a "sweet nice guy". I mean he hasn't even made any moves on her yet. They've been "friendly" for about 2 months and he has barely kissed her.

 

She's more into the sex than I am. Always asking if we're going to have sex and whatnot. I have a feeling that she started to have feelings for me again which isn't good. I'm very reluctant to have sex with her because of this but it's so hard to pass down sex. You know?

 

I guess things are fine the way they are. She knows that I am not really interested in getting back together at the moment so as long as she knows my intentions there is nothing that I am doing wrong I suppose. Once I meet anybody else that I think might be serious I'll immediately end this sex relationship.

[Rosa]

so... you are the bad guy huh....

and you are waiting for another one, till then your enjoyng this.....sound like it yup.....

well, how do you know for sure she's only barely kissed the other guy, and is just covering that up, and waiting to see if you snap one day, and realize that she's the one, (I know, you said she knows you don't wanna b with her anymore) but by sleeping with her u r giving her mixed signals, and she will be holding on till you find another one, then u really break her, real bad, because like you said she's already getting feelings back for you...tha's what usually happens...tha's why I'm having second thoughts, because I would hate to be in her position right now, and you are just being the typical bad guy, I mean.... really just a plain guy, not really bad, just being selfish, which is not that bad either, but until when???

you want your cake and eat it too, I can relate, who doesn't, but to play with people's feelings is dangerous when you both are not in the same page, and obvously she's not in the same page with you, soooo, yeah, its getting sticky....I suggest you pull out, quick, but that's just my opinion.

The bad guys are only fun for a little while, then it gets old, that's why I'm beginning to really like the good guys, those are the ones you take home to mama, and you are probably not that bad, you just have'nt found the shoe that fits you, until then you will be the bad guy....

And then, I really feel for you, u r gonna regret being the bad guy, because life cathces up with you, and is gonna be too late,

U are gonna fall in love real bad, and is gonna hurt,

ur probably the type of guy that feeds off good girls in order to feel good, at least that's how my ex is, and its the reason why he's so bad...because he can be.....ofcourse he's supa fine...which is also a plus for all bad guys.....

I'm not a hater, I have done some damage myself, and I think it caught up to me now, with my ex, it ws my turn, now I know better.

I mean, that's just how I see life, and so I try to do good (most of the time) now, I'm getting older you know....but I istill wanna have sex with the ex..... #-o

[vfunkera]

I think i understand, only shes the one that keeps pulling the strings, and im a bit of a puppet. I guess i did break up so that i can have more fun- commitment free- so i can't really complain. But i feel guilty/bad for her. She said there is no way back between us (even though im the one who broke up with her, and she keeps chasing and chasing and chasing...), but she continues to call me up for a stroll in the park. Im usually strong, but when she strokes her feet against my leg like that under the table, or sits with her legs wide open towards me, (we work at the same place so we can't avoid each other), im seduced- resistance is futile lol.

 

Why? Is she trying to get me back, does she miss the sex and passion, is is just lust (it is on my side), or is she a girl that gets around a lot (one reason i felt i could never be serious with her was because i didn't trust her, she knew too many guys). What i do know is that after its all done i feel guilty and bad, that i've given a wrong signal, and she seems happy, and like you said im giving her a sense of satisfaction.

 

She knows that I am not really interested in getting back together at the moment so as long as she knows my intentions there is nothing that I am doing wrong I suppose. Once I meet anybody else that I think might be serious I'll immediately end this sex relationship.

 

Right on dude!!! Thats exactly how i think of it. Sex with the ex is soo addictive. I guess the only way to break it off is to avoid them. I also hope it will and should die down when we have some one new in our life whom we won't be comparing to our exes. Hopefully all this sexual frustration and lust will be her gain instead of the exes.

 

Good luck 8) 8) 8)

[Finch]

Woah there.. calm down. You obviously have gotten the wrong impression of me. First off let's start with my saying I was a bad guy.

 

I guess that's somewhat my fault since I said it, but I'm only a bad boy in certain aspects of my life/relationship. I'm by no regard a "nice guy" that will shower girls with endless compliments and drag his knees on the floor to get a girls approval. That is just pathetic and unmanly. That isn't attractive in a guy and I'm sure you would probably agree with that. I'm a bad boy in the sense that I am a confident male figure who won't put up with too much crap when it's uncalled for. I have a very sensitive aspect also. I help a lot of people with their problems. Nearly all of my friends come to me for emotional support when they need it. I'm the same with my girlfriends.

 

Now about the sex. She is a smart girl and I've already described to her that I am not currently interested in a relationship. I have repeatedly told her that sex might not be a good idea for both of us, but she continues to insist on having sex. It's her choice not mine. I'm not a mind reader. I can't be 100% sure what she is thinking. As for her maybe having feelings for me again.. that is purely speculation. As I said before, I have no idea! I'm not a mind reader.

 

As for life catching up to me because I'm a bad boy... lady, I'm not a serial killer or anything. I am a very nice guy with bad boy aspects. There is nothing wrong with that. I don't "feed off good girls" in order to feel good. When I go out I know exactly what I'm looking for. If I'm looking for a hook up, then I find girls who are looking for the hook up as well. If I'm going to look for a relationship, then I won't get involved with anybody who isn't looking for a relationship.

[Rosa]

Hi Finch, wuz up,

Since you said Bad guy, I was comparing you to my experience with one, and that's my opinion of one, my ex was loving, caring, giving, and all those charming things, he was a mixture of good and bad, (mostly BAD) I understand your position, if she's the one calling you for sex, then hey...who's gonna say no right?

So I was really into your reply, but I never meant to miss judge you in any way.

As for life catching up to me because I'm a bad boy... lady, I'm not a serial killer or anything. I am a very nice guy with bad boy aspects.

who said anything about a serial killer here, don't get defensive nene....all I meant to say is that what comes goes around comes around, and I can relate, and I'm sure a lot of others can also...

it just seems funny that you are the one trying to make the right move here, and she's wanting to have sex ALL THE TIME....

 

 

I'm by no regard a "nice guy" that will shower girls with endless compliments and drag his knees on the floor to get a girls approval. That is just pathetic and unmanly. That isn't attractive in a guy and I'm sure you would probably agree with that. I'm a bad boy in the sense that I am a confident male figure who won't put up with too much crap when it's uncalled for. I have a very sensitive aspect also

 

I agree with you, why do you think most girls are attracted to bad guys???

I'm a woman who doesn't put up with too much crap when it's uncalled for either, who does that???

 

Finch, there is no doubt in my mind that you have good intentions, we all do, the thing is that what we see as good intentions for ourselves might not be good for the other person who is getting hurt, but you don't really mean to purposely do these acts, is just that you can't control your feelings, and sometimes they just don't belong with that person any longer.

 

remember what I said:

 

you are probably not that bad, you just have'nt found the shoe that fits you, until then you will be the bad guy....

 

isn't that what you are doing right now,

think about this, if you know that having sex with the ex is not a good idea, although you do tell her that it isn't......why do you keep having sex with her???? is she putting a gun to your head?...no right???

I'm going thru the same situation, no gun to my head, I know its not the best idea, but I haven't found the shoe that fits me, so until then this one will do.....that's not right, but......who doesn't like to have sex, specially with the ex. (when they had a healthy sex life of course)

 

No need to get grumpy, we are all here because we want o hear differnt points of views, sometimes we are not gonna agree 100% and that's ok right???

 

Finch I wish you lots of great sex!!!!!!!!

 

write back if you like.