Scary thoughts.

[Moontiger]

I can’t believe I am typing this.

 

I have been having a roller coaster of emotions over the past 6 months or so. I moved in with my sister in a new city and had an internship lined up, everything was very positive. Well, for various reasons that I will not waste time on, the internship feel through. I ended up getting a temp job that lasted only a month and have not found anything else since then. There are a few other personally things going on right now as well in my life.

 

Yesterday I went to an informational interview with a very nice woman. It went very well and if anything opens up in her office she will be giving me a call. However, on the drive over there I was feeling very low. I got there pretty early so I park and just put my head on the steering wheel. That’s when I started to think about what it would be like to not be alive. I thought about what I would write to my family and friends and who I would leave what to.

 

These thoughts scared me so much. I almost started crying. I feel like such a spoiled brat. Nothing is my life is truly so terrible I should be having these thoughts. I have a loving family, friends, I’m not homeless, I have never been abused, etc.

 

After the interview I felt much better. But, I’m still so scared of how I was thinking before that.

 

Not sure what I’m looking for but if anyone one out there has words of wisdom I would really like to hear them.

[Ambiguous X]

It sounds like you were stacking your problems on top of each other so they look bigger than they are. Most people have several issues going on at once. Keep them separated and work on them one at a time. Many times before i go to work these bizarre negative thoughts cross my mind...i think its normal when you start feeling pressure to get overwhelmed...keep a log and try to improve it as you get older.

[catfeeder]

Your intuition might be prompting you to explore your spiritual beliefs so you'll find some comfort in seeing beyond the mundane.

 

Pursuing joy in enlightenment is enough for some people. When not, fear is always a good motivator. Trust your Self.