Just something.

[lonelyboy802]

outline i made for a letter i'm thinking of sending. eh.. idk. dont really mind if you dont comment or w/e. as long as at least one random person reads it think i'll be happy.

 

"I don't know what to say to you anymore"

As I write this your words echo in my head

I don't expect you to reply to this.. I don't think I want you to either..

 

To be honest I'm doing terrible. In a near constant state of depression.

Didn't go to college this semester. After that incident last November I just kinda lost interest. Also started cutting again but even that isn't helping much anymore. Don't even get me started on the "suicidal ideation" or attempts. Obviously all failed. Friends? you're the closest thing I have to one.

 

I did talk to my parents about seeing a psych. Mom said she'd get an appointment. Its been over a month since then, but in her defense she just spent two weeks in the Philippines with her dying mother. Eh.

 

Have you ever gone an entire day without eating, sleeping talking and without seeing anyone, just lay in a dark room? Makes me wonder if I disappear would anyone notice. Of course this would require further testing, maybe a week of doing it.

 

To cope with losing my best friend.. I told myself none of it was real. It was all in my head, just an illusion.. But it was a nice illusion.. I know I promised to call before I did anything stupid. Did I ever promise that? Or did I just start saying that one day. Like it really matters..

 

I know what I need to do.

I just can't bring myself to do it.

[MagzO]

I wish I could give you a hug right now. Sometimes we need it. I know the letter was directed to us readers, but to answer the question, yes, I've gone through days without seeing or talking to anyone, just sleeping all day, or laying in bed when I'm awake. Whatever happened or whatever happens, you just have to remember that it'll go away. Whatever pain you're feeling or whatever memories are hunting you, little by little they'll go away. The first thing you have to do is take the first step. You say you know what you need to do. Force yourself to do it. I know it's hard, but one day you'll get tired of your situation and just make the appointment yourself, move towards happiness. And, if you're not happy with your current situation, then change it. You can do it.

[halfie]

Nice composition of words and a letter with a hell of a lot of emotional depth. Hopefully one day you find a way to do whatever it is you need to do, overcome, feel and/or experience.