he broke up with me over lies

[lilyjean]

Me and my boyfriend were together for over a year and a half. He broke up with me a few nights ago over lies he heard about me. We have a friend in common that had threatened to spread lies about me and it looks like it has happened. He wont talk to me. I miss him somthing awful. I know that whatever it was he was told must have hurt him, but none of its true. How can I get him to talk to me? Even if it is really over I think that we both deserve to end it face to face. Not over a hung up phone call. Someone please help.

[Roffler]

Get together face to face. Go to his place. Explain that they were lies, you don't want your reput@tion (ok, I know I can't write put@, but reput@tion? C'mon) ruined by something totally and utterly false. You are better than that.

Write him a letter if he refuses to talk to you, as it seems you do not wish to persue this relationship any farther, and I cannot blame you for that. But make sure to have at least one more contact with him, and give your side of things.

[lisaria]

Hi lilyjean,

I am sorry you are going through this. If I were you I would be so very pissed that someone whom I was with for a year and a half broke up with me over some stupid story. What kind of person was he? What kind of issues does he have that he would believe something that he heard like a gd gossipmonger and not even have the guts to ask you about it? In my opinion he is not a man. He is most certainly not a friend. What kind of guy does that to someone they've spent so much time with and supposedly has feelings for? Is he still a boy and not a man that he listens to other people's bullcrap without getting it straight with the woman he supposedly loves? What is his problem???

Ok, lilyjean, I've vented enough. It just makes me mad when people do this. It's stupid and childish and it hurts others.

I don't know how I would react in this situation. Perhaps he's not even worth replying to. Anyone that would take someone else's word for something and not even ask you is not worth the time or the energy to pick up the phone. But I also agree with Roffler, if you will not feel better until you've talked to him, then do it. But I honestly think it would be better if you just walked away and show him through dignity and self-respect that you are a good and honest person. And he's just not worth the time.

[Rebecca81]

Well Lilyjean,

We are going through the same experience. My boyfriend broke up with me over lies as well. I think that men in general tend to view lies as the ultimate deception. If the lies in your case are absolutely untrue, then maybe you should try to contact him. If the last contact you had with him was over the phone, then maybe he is just too hurt to talk to you. This can be good or bad. Hopefully he is spending time by himself, evaluating and reflecting on your relationship, and with time, he maytry to call you. But, sometimes men, especially when they think the person they love lied, cannot forgive. They feel that their trust has been betrayed.

 

In my case, I am deciding whether or not to go by his house in about 2 weeks, to clear up the lies and be honest about everything. If the two of you are that in love, it may work out. It's so difficult because there is no time estimation here. Do what your heart says to do sweetie.

 

Good luck!