lamode Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 this is not my work, but i like it so i post it... There's a girl in the park, doesnt she know its dark. She's sitting on her own, though she never seems to moan. There's a girl in the park, doesnt she know its dark. What if the fall falls, or the sound of thunder calls. There's a girl in the park, doesnt she know its dark. I know the girl in the park, why she's sitting in the dark. The girl in the park was me, but nobody seems to see. Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 Very good poem. Is it really about you? I mean, it says your a male, but the poems speaks about you being a female. Anyway, it's really good. Keep up the good work =D>. Link to comment
i_hate_the_world47 Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 That was a good poem. ~Meagan~ Link to comment
lamode Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 Very good poem. Is it really about you? I mean, it says your a male, but the poems speaks about you being a female. Anyway, it's really good. Keep up the good work =D>. no that is not my work, i already said that at first line of this post. Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 no that is not my work, i already said that at first line of this post. I see... Whoops, my bad. I've been very distracted... Sorry. Link to comment
justdifferent Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 i think that's a crappy poem. no offense its just so i dont know i dont like it, but im not one to say something sucks with out giving advise on how to make it better. first of all because its so repetitive you should add some more couplets between the repeted phrases. and you can tell that you desperatly wanted it to rhyme ...just let it flow you've got great potential Link to comment
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