Ex wants to still be in my life. what to do?

[chiqueangel]

I was dumped by my exbf for three years last Saturday because he wants some breathing space because we've been through a lot and he wanted to make things right. So, I just let him be. Then yesterday, I called him sobbing and wanting to hear his voice. Yes I know I shouldn't call him and apply NC but then I knew NC after calling him and finding about this site. ](*,) He was irritated when I called and said we haven't been apart for 24 hours yet I was calling him already. Then I just hanged up the phone and decided NC then later that night, he txted me saying he wanted to visit me at my house. Stupidly enough, I said yes. So he went and we just watched TV. I was so bothered why the hell he wanted to see me when he dumped me after all.

 

What to do? Why did he see me after dumping me and getting irritated? What does it mean?

[dramallama]

He probably misses you as a person. But you won't know whether he wants a relationship or not unless you are clear to him that you don't want contact with each other, unless he realises that he wants to reconcile. Trust me, if you stay in touch you are going to be anaylising everything he does wondering whether he wants to get back with you. Dumpers even have sex with dumpees, and the dumpees think they've got them back, but then the dumpers say "oh, but we're still broken up, remember? By the way, meet my new girlfriend."

 

Don't bother analysing what he meant by asking you to watch TV. If you stay in touch you will just be putting yourself in situations to analyse him even more and looking for signs that are not there. But if you tell him to give YOU space, then you will gain control and you can assume that unless he contacts you and makes SEVERAL moves and doesn't stop until he gets you back as a girlfriend, and he is CLEAR about it, if he isn't doing that, then you know it's your cue to keep with NC.

[doyathink]

Means he's confused and needs some space. As hard as that is to do....give him his space. Let him contact you

[chiqueangel]

Sometimes I just want to laugh out my situation with him because one moment, he says something nice and yet the next he says something mean.

 

He initiated that we'd rather not talk that much and live our separate lives and yet here he was trying to see me, finding a way to talk to me, even if it feels awkward for me already because he couldn't make up his mind to what he really wants.

[dramallama]

Then stop leaving it up to him whether he gets to contact you. You are the only one that can put up boundaries, and he will either rise up and meet you where you are by initiating reconciliation, or he won't and you will know that he doesn't want to be with you and it's your cue to continue NC.