Workplace Attraction

[Spectral]

Ok recently I was just hired at my new job, and I find it to be a nice, good paying job. Recently I've been attracted to one of my co-workers[whom I haven't introduced myself to, but I will soon] and she's like the apple of my eye each time I see her. When I first saw her come out of her cubicle I looked at her walk[not obviously so others can know of course] and she looked at me back and she kept looking at me until I was out of her sight. Now up to this day[up to about 4 weeks now], each time she comes out of her cubicle she's always looking at me and I'm looking at her, and I'm not getting any negative vibes(like signs of digust). Just vibes that are telling me "come talk to me, I keep looking at you".(It even happened today.) I mean each time she comes out, she looks at me and not anywhere else(when I'm in visible and line of sight that is, and I can't resist looking at her either), she even caught me looking at her through the corner of her eye. I know the risks of workplace flirting, and I dont want to start something up. I already know I should to talk and introduce myself, but not in a sexual way. But really, I just need some advice and how to go along with this. Thanks in advance.

[CherryGrl]

I would not get involved with someone at the workplace. I know a lot of people do this, but I've also known a few personally who wished they hadn't. If a relationship develops but then doesn't work out, you might find yourself in a place where you not only are trying to get over a break-up but are very uncomfortable going to your nice, good-paying job.

 

If you do decide that dating at your workplace is something that you want to risk, make sure before you start anything that this attractive lady is unattached and available, or you could really find yourself in a bag of worms.

[Spectral]

Yeah I want to make sure she's with someone first. But by the signs, do you think she's interested?

[JonnyG]

I think u should go for it. She seems interested. She'll give up looking if u dont act sometime or later. I doubt she has a bf if she keeps staring at u. Take a risk, smile at her, and see if she smiles back, great, if not, u will feel a tool, but u tried

[CherryGrl]

Could be, if she's been making eyes at you all this time. Not sure what you want here, since you say you know the dangers of workplace flirting and don't want to start something up, but I don't see any harm in introducing yourself since you two have been coworkers for a month now.

[Spectral]

Yeah it seems just about right...but I can never catch up with her, only times I see her is on the clock. By the way I'm 17(being 18 in about 3 months), and she looks like shes in her late 20s/early 30s.

[CherryGrl]

17, huh? Well, that might be a little complicated if the woman is 30ish. Just posted on another thread regarding younger guy/older woman relationships, saying I think they might be becoming more common. However, I think many women would be disinclined to get involved with a guy under 18. That doesn't mean you can't introduce yourself, though!

[birdgirl]

I made the mistake of getting involved with a co-worker. It wasn't working, so I had to break it off. He went slightly nuts and started telling our co-workers how horrible I'd supposedly treated him. Some people actually started treating me differently after that, because they hadn't heard my side of the story. And even though I had good reasons for dumping him, I knew it would be more hurtful to him to tell everyone we work with why we really broke up. So I kept my mouth shut. I did the right thing, but it was hard to have people thinking badly of me. I spent eight hours a day worrying about what he'd told these people. And we all know that people act differently in breakups. I couldn't have anticipated him saying all the stuff he said -- he was normally a private person. I thought he'd never go blabbing! I'll never get involved with a co-worker again![/url]

[Silversun]

I think we all need to take risks at somepoint in a life but even if asking someone out at work is a little risky, you might find that it's your only chance to ask someone out.

 

In the end, if you going to ask someone at work out, you need to weigh up the pro's and con's and whether it is really worth it.

 

I know many people who have a b/f or g/f that they work with and their relationship has lasted quite a long time.....