Moving on, still miss her bundles

[DavidBB78]

Hi Toni,

 

It's real great that you've spent your time answering all these questions about situations of people with relationship and break up difficulties. I just found out about it today and I hope you may find the time to help me.

 

My partner left me abouyt 3 months ago, saying she couldn't handle being in a relationship any longer (a case of the flight syndrome as soon as things become stable). Her background in a nutshell - dysfunctional family, depressed mother with a number of nervous breakdown. Always had to rely on herself has been let down in past relationships and never had (her words) someone as supportive, understanding and caring. She broke up saying she was no longer in love and gravitated towards a guy she'd met once before who is living in another country. They met while we were going out, never said much to each other at the time, but then he started sending her txt messages and letters - to cut a long story short. She booked a holiday to Italy to see a friend of this guys 3 weeks before breaking up with me - she saw him while there and now she says she's in love with him and he's coming to visit her in october.

 

My question is: is this guy a fantasy? Is she using the fact that he lives in another country as a way to feel she doesn't have to make the effort?

 

and secondly: considering I was the most supportive person ever in her life and never ever let her down (walked in egg-shells to make her feel at ease) why would she go for someone else? She said she'd never been so in love with somebody as she was with me. Do you think she may in a few months try rekindling the relationship? She still keeps in touch and is very sorry and apologetic for what she's done to me.

 

I've had a lot of support from people in this forum, who have lived similar experiences, but I wanted the expert advice on this.

 

Thank you very much and thanks for making yourself available to so many heart-broken and suffering individuals.

 

David

[wickedbusa]

When you treat someone so well, it is hard to comprehend why someone would leave you for someone else so quickly. Unfortunately, there are just some things in life that do not have logical reasoning. Move on with your life and have NO CONTACT with her. She does not realize what a great person you are and is looking for greener grass. If things do not work out with this new person she is in love with, she might come back to you, but then again, what does that make you? Second best. You deserve so much more than that. You deserse someone who will see you for everything that you are and love you back the same way you love her. Move on with your life and love yourself. She is keeping you there as someone to fall back on should things not work out. Focus on yourself now and do not let your life revolve around her anymore. No one is saying that it will be easy, but you have to be strong. I promise you will feel better as the days go on and soon, you will realize that you are better off without her. Keeping in contact with her will only hurt you more and you do not deserve that. Stay strong a focused and know that we are all here for you.