I need someone to talk with

[fletche]

My life is a mess and I'm becoming desparate!

 

I probably sound like a right loser:

 

Divorced twice

Lying cheating bastard

About to be declared bankrupt

Live in a room in an alien country (Poland-I'm a Brit)

Think I've had a breakdown

Trying to run businesses I don't believe in

I don't believe in myself

I see conspiracies everywhere

Am becoming violent

Becoming an alcoholic

Can't identify with other people

People fear me

Create mayhem where ever I go

...........

 

That's the just a taster.

Other than that I'm your average guy!

 

 

I do have some endearing qualities, I just need to believe in myself again.

 

Could really do with confiding with someone.

[mjones.uk]

Bro,

 

Firstly, well done on asking for some help - this shows that you've admitted to yourself that you have a problem (problems!) and that you have the balls to stand up and ask for help. Believe me, some people cant even do this.

 

You've written down how you see yourself. You know inside though that this is not really you. We are the sum total of all the decisions we have made in life. the biggest and most important step now is to accept that you are to blame.

 

Yes thats right. Don't blame other people, your circumstances, bad luck etc, blame yourself. Once you realise that the only thing you can control in this world is yourself, then the focus is back on you to start making some changes.

 

Most people drift along in life, unhappy, never getting anywhere or achieving anything, the way to think of this is as being a ship without a rudder - never knowing where its heading. In order to change where you are now, you must take control of that rudder and steer yourself in the right direction.

 

Ok, you've made some mistakes and done some bad things - havent we all. Mistakes are there to be learnt from, at least you know and want to change, you just need the tools do it.

 

Please dont see yourself as a failure. There is no failure - except in no longer trying. No longer trying in life means only one thing... Remember, every man is the architect of his own future.

 

Bro, you can have whatever you want in life, but its going to take some effort. Then again, what in this world doesn't?

 

If you really feel bad, and especially if you're still being violent, then you must get some professional help. This may be hard abroad, but is there anyway you can come back to the UK?

 

If not, then the next best thing (although you really need a professional to talk to) is to try and help yourself. get some books, read them absorb them, believe them and do what they tell you to do.

 

The one's that helped me are as follows:

 

'Life Strategies - do what works, do what matters' by Dr Phillip C McGraw

'Awaken the giant within' - Anthony Robbins (excellent, get it)

'Unlimited Power' - Anthony Robbins

'How high can you bounce' - Roger Crawford

'Born to Succeed' - Colin Turner

 

You should be able to these cheaply on ebay.co.uk, or from Amazon, so please do.

 

It is said that people want to change, but don't until they finally reach rock bottom. If you feel like this bro, then start to see it as the point in your life when you start climbing back up. It may be a hard climb but you will make it. There are thousands of people just like you, climbing right now, and there will be thousands after you.

 

Once you start gaining some self confidence back, stop drinking and being violent (keep telling yourself that these things are all under your control, do not believe that they control you), you will start to pull yourself back.

 

You can do it man, dont become a victim of your circumstances. Remember, there are people out there who really care and who will help you, but its really down to you.

 

Please, stop the booze and fists before you do some serious damage to either yourself or some other poor soul. If you really believe things are that bad then why not take a look at the kids who are in hospital fighting cancer, or getting there limbs blown off in Iraq, and tell yourself that you owe them the opportunity you have of rebuilding yourself and your life - something they may never have.

 

Change is an intergral part of life, there is no escaping it, so believe it man, you can change.

[mjones.uk]

Duplicate for some reason - can you delete please moderator? Cheers and apologies.

[paul475]

...get thee to an AA meeting. An English speaking one.

 

This simple willingness will be repaid one thousand fold.

 

Yes, you can change, but if you could do it on your own you would have done so long ago. You need help, and you need the help of others who think and behave just like you.

 

I assure you, you are not alone. As any ex-drunk in AA will tell you, we are egomaniacs with severe inferiority complexes. But there is a solution, I found it, and you can, too.

 

If the "god" word troubles you, don't worry...it troubles everyone at first. What it means is, "Good Orderly Direction."

 

If it feels like brainwashing, then maybe that's what you need. Lord knows you've been washing your brain with alcohol for longer than you should have.

 

And always remember that it is better to be in AA on accident than out there drinking and rotting your life on purpose.

[LateForDinner]

Hey you,

 

I just want to chit chat with someone. I see you posted your message back in April so I doubt if you're paying attention anymore.

 

You got my attention because I'm basically in the same boat, only female, in the states, and I am probably older and have more baggage than you!

 

Divorced twice, single Mom of 2 gorgeous girls, and caring for my aging parents (probably not enough), I am feeling extremely isolated and "out there" while I sip my J&B!

 

How'd you do with posting this entry...other than the dudes who replied? They were very kind. Did you go to AA? Good people there, although, the only time I ever attended a meeting was quite a while ago... before I would entertain the thought that maybe I needed it!

[fletche]

Hi just got your message.

 

I really have to go out in a few minutes though, I will write to you tomorrow morning (Poland time)

 

I'm doing OK.

 

Hope you are too!!!!!

 

Have a JD for me.

 

Q