Healthy relationship while finding self

[sweetooth]

Hello there, I was wondering if anyone else feels the same; it has been 2 years since graduating college and I am still trying to figure out my life, mainly career wise. I feel like I have been in limbo the past two years despite family support.

 

With that said, I feel like I cannot give myself 100% in a relationship as my self-esteem is lacking and my life/future has been in limbo for so long. I am also 24 years old and currently in a fairly new relationship with someone who has it all together.

 

Just wondering if anyone feels the same....Thanks.

[sidehop]

Why do feel your self esteem is lacking?

[lucasky]

Hi Sweetooth,

 

My boyfriend is in a similar boat. He's 26 (been out of school 4 years), and he still feels like he isn't living up to his potential. He has no idea what he's doing with his life. For me... not knowing is exhilarating. For others, it tears their self-esteem down. For him it is the latter.

 

When we were about 6 months into our relationship he told me that he couldn't feel love for me because he couldn't love himself. As much as I was exactly what he wanted, his self-loathing trumped his ability to feel for others.

 

He's slowly getting out of it. A big step for him was quitting the job he hates, and soon we're going to India for 5 months (well, me 3 him 5).

 

I think its all about finding change, and in that, accepting that change may happen slowly.

 

In any event, you're not alone in how you feel. My boyfriend is the same way!