Still have feelings for EX! want to move on!!!

[fernandinaGXE]

I dated my ex for about 5 months, it was my first serious relationship and she also took my virginity. I broke up with her because all we had been doing lately was fighting and the stress was starting to affect my health. Well, after breaking up she moved about 12 hours away to live with her mom and go to school there (she had been living with her grandparents). I started to notice about a week later that I sort of miss her. I have been doing everything possible to get over her but so many things remind me of her and it just sucks.

 

I have started dating again and I really like the girl I'm seeing but I haven't really gotten over my ex and it just makes me feel bad some of the time. She keeps e-mailing me to tell me she still loves me and wants to see me so bad.

 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I STILL CARE ABOUT HER I THINK AND IM SO CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jaiva]

You will always hold a special place in your heart for the person who took your virginity because you gave them a part of you that you can will never be able to give to anyone else. So it will take time to get over her. It took me almost a year to get over the person that took my virginity. If you feel that you should go back to her than you should, but don't hurt the new girl because she might have strong feelings for you. So if you have to go to your ex go now before the new girl gets to attached to you.

Jaiva

[fernandinaGXE]

I can't really "go back" to her since shes moved. She is coming back for christmas break though...

 

The problem is we really fought ALOT and didn't really have much in common... at the time I sat down and thought about everything it seemed we really didn't belong together.

 

It killing me! She says she wants to wait until shes done with school (about 2-3 years) and see where we each are in our personal lives and how we feel toward each other. I just wish I could move on and this new girl is real nice.

 

PLEASE, this is driving me INSANE!

[lupe]

this is an oppertunitty of a life time go back, it will work out and you never know till you do this, this could be the biggest mistake if you dont try.

[alwaysinmess]

it seems to me u both love each other and i understand what you feel... this feeling of loss and missing a person can really kill..i think that u have to go back to her because since u arfe dating anothe rgirl and still feel awful, means that u love her , then u still have time so why not trying once again.. me too i was talking with someone and we used to fight but it doesn't mean that we don't love each other.. u cannot hate this girl and uj can't be totally devoted to the new one coz u didn't get over the first one yet.. i think u have to be honest with ur new girlfriend .. i don't know sometimes even if everything is going smoothly and u are well something still lack.. on the whole, i think u should follow ur heart, u know it is an advice which someone gave me a time ago and u are still young so u follow ur heart since u still can...good luck

[TrueHeart]

Once you love someone, they will always be apart of your heart. Especially one that you gave your virginity to. The important part is to really sit down and think to yourself if you're truly happy. You don't want to be unfair to this new girl you are seeing by leading her to believe your love for her is all hers.. Be honest. Perhaps let her know things are moving a little fast/slow/whatever, and you just need some time to really get your X out of your system.... Of course, that depends on when you two broke up?? How long ago after the breakup did you start seeing this new girl?

[fernandinaGXE]

I started seeing this new girl about 2 weeks after breaking up.

 

The problem with my EX is that she is borderline personality/ bi-polar and ADHD. These aren't the reasons I broke up with her. I broke up with her because she wasn't taking the medicine for the problems which made her a living hell to deal with. Then there was the fact that she was controlling: had to know where I was at all times and why I wasn't with her....

 

Due to these problems, plus the fact that me and her family don't really get along and she doesn't get along with any of my friends, we got into fights and arguments regularly (like, every day)

 

I just feel bad about the whole thing. She is living 12 hours away right now but may be moving back... she knows I am not over her and uses this to make me feel bad and tells me she cries every night ect...

 

How do I talk to my new GF (of about 2 weeks) about this? I don't want to hurt her or piss her off or anything. She knows about my EX and she really seems to like me.

 

I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!

[TrueHeart]

OOoook-- wait wait wait... Hold the phone...

 

You mean to tell me that you broke up with your XGF-- 2 weeks after breaking up with her-- so you only really gave your XGF 2 weeks to really get over things and move on? Or more or less, give yourself time to move on?? You are really walking on eggshells, to be completely 100% honest with you. If your XGF has a personality disorder, don't you think that the way she's acting now might be a dramatic representation of that? You said you didn't break up with her because of her disorder, but the medications?-- so ergo, you DID break up with her because of the medications making her personality worse.

 

Ahh hon, things might be only the tip of the iceburg. I hate being the devil's advocate, but you really need to tell your XGF that you cannot talk to her anymore. If you've only been dating this new GF for 2 weeks, I personally think you're moving a bit too fast for everyone's pace, including your own. Your XGF isn't quite detached herself from you, and she has lingering feelings that she's trying to understand.. Even though I'm sure you're much happier without her and with your current girlfriend (now)-- you need to end even talking to your XGF..

 

Bottom line: You're not being fair to yourself.... or your new GF by not giving yourself time to heal from this last break..

 

 

Right now, she is miscontruing all of your gestures of attempting to be a caring friend, and she's trying to guilt you into taking her back (i.e. knowing that you still love her, and throwing it in your face) She's obviously hurt, and needs to be left alone, ESPECIALLY if you're already involved with another person----- does she know that? I'm sure you probably haven't told her as you might not know where it goes or you don't want to hurt her.

 

Yikes, kind of in a sticky situation, but I'm sure everyone can partially agree that you need to really stop talking to your XGF, especially if you've already moved on (very quickly) to someone else.....

[fernandinaGXE]

well, she does know that I'm dating someone else...

 

The deal with the new GF is that I'm taking things REAL slow.

I'm trying to feel things out and get my priorities straight....or something...

 

So, you think I should just plain tell her to move on and stop talking with her (which I've been trying to do as little as possible).

 

It's driving me crazy how she tells me how she can't date anyone else and she will love me forever and all this crap.

 

I know I'll never get over her seeing as she is the first girl I every really loved and the one who took my virginty..... I just want to get to the point where my head doesn't feel like it's going to explode...