Break-up Help!!

[nigh1t234]

hi i'm new to this board and just had my gf of 9 months break up with me on vacation. Im 18 and going to college in RI and shes going to college in SC so its far. I've had been through a break up and i never found it easy i cried and cried (yes i cried) but after a few months i met my current ex -gf. We went out for 9 months and then i called her and (we have been havin problmes about her not being happy about college and stuff) she told me she wasn't happy and that it wasn't my fault that she wasn't happy but somehow i knew it was. THen she said that she liked us being friends better, and that just hurt me it was like she stabbed me in the heart with a knife. After she said that it was like i kinda didn't even register it and then like a few days later when i got home from vacation i just totally broke down and couln't stop crying i just laying in bed and cried. It wasn't veyr pleasent. Now this was a few days ago and im doing better but i haven't talked to her since then we agreed not to talk till today, and i decided not to call her. But i just keep thinking over and over in my mind about how it happened and just kept playing in my head and also i keep thinking about her with another guy and that just makes me almost throw up.

I called my ex a few days ago and told her everything and how i feel. It took a lot of guts to tell her i don't think we could be friends. She said to me that i was running away from my problems and i said that thats how i deal with stuff thats what works for me and i just wanted to move on. We decided not to call each other any more and i'd send her an e-mail within a few weeks. I just feel that every time i would call her or talk to her i would just get all those feelings back. I thought i did the right thing by telling her how i felt, she was a little mad and sad that i didn't want to be her friend. I was always very honest with her throughtout our realtionship except for some things i about my previous long realtionship. I think that was one of the reasons she broke up with me, i kick myself for being like that but if i were to do it again i would prolly do the same thing so. I was honest to her and to myself even if that does hurt her and me, its for the best. Is the " no contact " rule really a good way to get over someone? or does that just not a good thing to do to yourself? she told me i was running from my problems, the reason i ask this is because i did do that with my previous ex-gf and it worked for the most part and i feel i got over her. sorry for this post being so long its been a tough week, please free to post your comments or advice i really could use it thanks so much!

[ReneinDC]

That was a very mature and honest thing you did so be proud of yourself! It's quite selfish of her to not understand that you are still to vested emotionally to be "just friends" Though it will be agonizing.. try not to talk until you know you are healed. Heck when you start college and see all the girls you will probably forget all about the pain!

 

Your emotions are perfectly reasonable just roll with them! It's ok to cry your eyes out and if you need to do it daily.. it's ok. I wish you the best of luck and just know that you will get thru this

[nigh1t234]

Well my ex-gf this was her frist realtionship and this was my second so i don't really blame her you know she doesn't understand everything. Its easier to walk away from a bad realtionship than a good one. anyone have any other advice or comments??

[nigh1t234]

bump! anyone got any advice??