aftershock879 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I am very curious to hear other peoples stories about this sort of thing.... I have accepted my relationship is over and as much as it hurts I am ok about it, but something deep down tells me that something just doesn't seem right, like some of the things that were said were heat of the moment from a VERY stubborn person who speaks without thinking about things properly....no third parties/cheating/arguing/abusive of any kind but just a free flowing relationship where both people were very happy and got on very well.... mine came to an abrupt end which is why the conflicting messages that were getting sent out makes me think that some of the stuff said was BS, where she went from being unsure,missing me,panicking,admitted not being 100% sure to I only see you as a friend.....and I love you but not sure in which way you know the normal BS Makes me think do dumpers really say things to try justify the choice even if they don't know deep down it is the right one? she said that because she is unsure it was the best thing for NOW and that if she did realise she made a mistake then she would come back on her hands and knees grovelling....I am not waiting though....even though we see eachother at work 5 times a week! I don't want her back now, this side of her frankly repulsed me as I was supposed to be the 'closest person to her', sorry but you really don't treat people you care for like $h!t! If she did realise she made a mistake and came back it would take alot of on her part to prove that this time it was for real and she was genuienly sorry I would consider it as I do love her and she has been a massive part of my life, but there is only so many times you can put a person down in my view... a womans perspective would be nice, can you be that cold that you try and hurt the other person because you can? Link to comment
superfox Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Personally however much I don't like the other person (ex husband) I could never treat them like sh1t verbally, I suppose I'm very cold towards him but I always think that once things are said they can't be un-said. I'm also VERY stubborn and once my mind is made up that's it. If you got back together then you would still have doubts once things get rocky again, things will be brought up again in the heat of the moment or after a beer or two. You'd need to fix that problem before getting back together. Link to comment
aftershock879 Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 I agree with you there once things are said there is not much you can do to try and forget them but if you are strong enough and the feelings are there then I think you shouldn't let anything get in the way of something that makes you happy, she also admitted self sabotage when things are going well!lol...........why do people do this?? One of my exes who I loved so much, ended it with me in a horrible way wanting a break first then after a week I said I couldn't do it anymore so we broke up....it was so hard and I made myself ill. After a couple of months I met someone else and we started dating.....low and behold 2 months later she came back begging and saying what a mistake she made, I think GIG syndrome, because she had hurt me that much I said no and carried on with the new girl who I was with for 2 years...I do regret it sometimes but you can't look back only forward, so exes do come back I guess! My current ex, we had no issues with each other at all no arguments at all or differences we just got on like a house on fire, she has been single for best part of 10 years before she got with me.....so maybe a good reason for her to freak out, it all changed in like 2 weeks, 4 weeks since we split! Link to comment
superfox Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I agree with you there once things are said there is not much you can do to try and forget them but if you are strong enough and the feelings are there then I think you shouldn't let anything get in the way of something that makes you happy, she also admitted self sabotage when things are going well!lol...........why do people do this?? I've done this in the past. When things are going too well you (I) think they're going to go all wrong, by pushing someone away you're protecting yourself (stupidly) from hurt as 'they're going to leave you anyway'. My next relationship was going the same way but it was him pushing me away, I recognised the signs, sat him down and told him what he was doing and how I wasn't going anywhere. One of my exes who I loved so much, ended it with me in a horrible way wanting a break first then after a week I said I couldn't do it anymore so we broke up....it was so hard and I made myself ill. After a couple of months I met someone else and we started dating.....low and behold 2 months later she came back begging and saying what a mistake she made, I think GIG syndrome, because she had hurt me that much I said no and carried on with the new girl who I was with for 2 years...I do regret it sometimes but you can't look back only forward, so exes do come back I guess! My current ex, we had no issues with each other at all no arguments at all or differences we just got on like a house on fire, she has been single for best part of 10 years before she got with me.....so maybe a good reason for her to freak out, it all changed in like 2 weeks, 4 weeks since we split! I agree on the never looking back. I've only once gone back to an ex (he dumped me over something he'd misread and wanted out before he fell too hard) I got drunk, broke every rule in the ENA NC rulebook, sobered up in the morning and sent a final text apologising for my teary outbursts and that I'd leave him alone. He was at mine that night, aww. But I don't normally reccommend getting back with exes. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Saying they want to be friends is the Kiss of Death. I would rather have them tell me to go to He** than tell me they want to be friends. But to answer your question, no. Usually when they have come back it's been because things were on the backburner with their new partner and they were just lonely or rebounding. Link to comment
redtan Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Yes it has happened to me Link to comment
kuteknish Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 if they want to be friends, it means they really don't have much romantic feelings for you anymore... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I'm not sure if your question is general as in thinking a reconciliation is impossible or where it's impossible because of how the person treated you. I thought it was basically impossible that my ex and I would ever get back together but 8 years later when we met for the second time since the breakup, sparks flew -couldn't believe it. A month later we decided to get back together and we've been married now a few years and have a little boy! Our original breakup was traumatic but as amicable as possible - no dealbreakers like cheating or abuse. Link to comment
iBroken Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Yup - and then we broke up again. Its best to not hold on to any hope. Even if they come back, there is no guarantee its going to work again. Link to comment
aftershock879 Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 I am not holding out any hope at all, I have let got it has only been 4 weeks since the split so only time will tell on that front, whether I want to be friends or not. Still wanting to spend time with me aswell which I find quite strange, as with previous exes if I have been the dumper I have never said I want to stay friends nor when I have been finished with. well there was no mis treating of any kind on either part only insecurity on her part at times other than that smooth sailing......but it changes from week to week on how she is feeling, I know we have a very strong bond, more so than I have had in the past it is the same with her, but she is way too stubborn to say how she really feels.....screw it though I know I can do better!lol Link to comment
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