What are the odds of the cheater coming back

[SILKY]

Just wondering what your thoughts were on whether somebody leaves you for someone else (CHEATED ON IN THE RELATIONSHIP.. WHILE IT WAS GOING ON)... if they eventually come CRAWLING back. What has been your experience?

[CherryGrl]

Perhaps you could give a bit more info on the particulars....

[SILKY]

All I am wondering.. if a cheater cheats.. whats the odds that he will come back to the person he cheated on? do most guys cheat and move on.. or think about what they did and come back.

[CherryGrl]

Well, I don't know of any statistics on this. My boyfriend cheated a couple of months ago, and when I told him if he wanted to be with her he should get out, he did. He was gone a few nights and then begged to come back, and I let him. As far as I know he has not seen the OW since he told me it was over.

 

But then, you can read lots of stories here about cheaters who didn't come back, or who did but went to great lengths to pretend the cheating relationship was over when it wasn't. So, the cheater may come back, or they may not. And the cheatee may want then back, or they may not.

[dikaia880]

Question,

Why would you want him to comeback? Why wouldn't you want to go out and find someone that would treat you right and not cheat on you? Sure, you may be hurt, but you deserve better...

[dpressedone89]

yes most cheaters come back but they mostly cheat again you shouldnt take him back u do diserve better

[fantasia2004]

Have you seen uma thurman ?

 

look what happen to her situation .

 

she got on with her life after her ex cheated on her with a new man in her world and her ex husband came to his senses begged her back and she kicked him to the curb. Now that is what I call girl power!!!!!!!!!!!

[mahlina]

Honey, yes. I agree with the above posters. I can tell you from experience that the odds of a cheater coming back will most likely happen, depending on how the cheater feels about how you treated them in the relationship. For instance, if they felt as though you were being honest, supportive, and made them happy, then they will come back. I'm not saying that this is always the case, but that's how it was with me. But you know what? Going back to a relationship like that is not worth it. It's not worth being treated like dirt again & again, & again. My ex surprised me by calling me back. It's almost as if the guys that cheated on me in the past, always seem to make their way back. I don't know why, other than what I mentioned from above. But that's besides the point. Reason being: cheating is bad enough!

 

Why cheat on someone that you claim to love? Why break their hearts? And to come back? Why? That action in itself is enough for me to know that once he cheated on me, then he most likely probably will do it again. No matter how many times a guy confesses that he's changed, you can't stick around and believe him. You have to carry on strong for yourself. I think that part of the reason why my ex called me, was because he didn't have anyone else to talk to at that moment. No matter how many times he claims that he wants us to work out again, and seek couseling, I had to politely tell him that we can't. I don't hate him, but don't think it's necessary to go backwards. It's time for people like us, who got hurt, to move forwards. To improve our lives, because they already had their chance, and they screwed it up!

 

So honey, please do yourself a favor. Once a person cheats on you, it literally eats your away at your heart, takes away your identity, and causes you to be less of yourself. You become so dependent on those roller-coaster feelings of emotions, that it becomes completely unhealthy & straining on your: #1.) Mind 2.) Body 3.) Spirit. It's emotionally destructive. thereforeeee, re-examine who you are in life, what you want, and be true to yourself okay? Your happiness means more than anything.

 

At least you can walk away from all of this, and say that you honestly gave the relationship an effort, a commitment, your full sincerity when that person had you. Now that they don't, it's not your job to stick around 'fix' things anymore. Because you know what? They had you when they needed you. And you know what? They were the ones who screwed it up. So you have no obligation to stick around and dedicate yourself a 2nd time around anymore. All of those nights of crying, is not worth re-living anymore. I can only speak from personal experience. It's not worth dealing with the emotional baggage.

 

I know that we all make mistakes by going back to someone who hurts us. But you know what? They will continue to hurt us, only if we let them. I won't lecture on what you should/should not do. But I care enough to tell you that the pain is not worth it. Best of luck on your decisions. I truly hope that you will find yourself again, and your happiness. Happiness is all that matters. If that means that you chose to remain single and happy, then that's all that matters. Nothing else. Peace.-Mahlina

[brokenpogostick]

i agree with everyone on this...don't take a cheater back...it's only going to amount to a boatload of pain & suffering you don't need...even if they are "reformed", there's still going to be the hurt of the past to deal with and the fear of what may happen in the future

[tRiKTa]

I totally agree with 'dpressedone89' a lot of cheaters that do come back, come back because they think that they can cheat on you and you will still take them back. For your own good don't take him back.

[FreemanIG88]

Does it matter if he wants to comes back or not. Kick him in the teeth and leave him for dead.

[mahlina]

One more thing: When and if the cheater does come back calling, crying, etc., try and shrug it off as though the conversation never happened. Focus on the 'new' you, because you know what? The old you that once loved that person, is not that same person anymore. You are stronger now. I made the mistake of sharing my story with you, along with a few other members, but in reality, realize that life goes on. There's no point in holding onto the past. There's no point on looking back either. Let it go, and move on. You'll run into bigger/better things in life, so long as you drop the cheater like a bad habit.

 

Don't give up hope. Find strength & courage to let go. And, if the cheater does want to remain as friends, then politely tell them that you can't. Then let it be. Throw it in the trashcan, and walk away. I find it funny how I doubt karma sometimes, but it end, it really does work in its own mysterious ways. There's no point in sitting around and anaylzing when, how, or why. The main point is to focus on you.

 

Take Care. I truly hope that our advices helped you. Mahlina

[single30]

I think that not everyone is a "cheater" just because it happened once. But it depends on the person.