A friend of my bf hit his girlfriend. Should I tell about it my boyfriend?

[PrettyGood]

On new year's eve I met a friend of my bf. He brought his gf together and I thought that they were so nice lovely couple. She has a little daughter from another man. This couple was working abroad and today I got email from her that she's going to return home. She wrote that her bf lost a mobile phone and told her that she stolen it. After that they quarrelled and he hit her on her face.

 

I was shocked because I knew that this man had a very conflict ex girlfriend. So he hit her too long time ago. And this woman had very conflict ex boyfriend (her daughter's father) who used violence against her. Once he even broke her spine. So this friendship looked so perfect after all of this. They kissed each other so much and so on.

 

I want to talk about this violence against her with my boyfriend. Of course I think he can't change anything, but I can't be silent. And I think that this woman also doesn't want me to talk loudly about it. So what should I do? On the other hand I think that she might be worth of that hit, because most of her friends are criminal people and she is also a kind of alcoholic person. So I think that she may lied to me about everything. Maybe she really stole his phone?

[LightbulbSun]

Yes, you should definitely tell your boyfriend. Violence against anybody is not okay, under any circumstances.

[PrettyGood]

But what if she lied about everything? I thought men doesn't hit women if they aren't guilty. She might be a part of that conflict. And her ex boyfriend also wouldn't hit her if she wouldn't be guilty. I think that she might be a problematic person. I don't want to look like a gossip girlfriend to my boyfriend and his friend. What can he do about it? I mean, he will talk about it to his friend. His friend will not tell anything to him about it and:

 

a) think where did he get these news?

b) he will understand that his gf gossiped and maybe hit her again

c) he will tell my bf that I'm a gossip girlfriend and I don't know anything about this situation, so why I told my bf?

d) maybe this woman only want to be heard, because she doesn't want me to tell about it to anyone. So maybe she has some other plans why she does it.

 

There's a quote that when 2 fights, 3 brings only much more trouble, isn't? Inside me I want to keep silence.

[LightbulbSun]

Some men are abusive for no reason. Just like some women are abusive for no reason. It depends on the individual.

 

Since I don't know your friends personally, I can't comment further than that. Although letting an abusive relationship continue is just as bad as doing the abuse yourself, IMO.

[HeartGoesOn]

It doesn't matter who she is, or where's she's been, what does matter is that no one deserves to be hit.