Yes Or No

[i_hate_the_world47]

This may seem like a dumb question but i need help on it

 

My boyfriend is 16 and i know some of you may think he is to old for me since i am only 14.Any way,a couple days ago he said he wanted to really show me he loves me.By this he meant he wanted me to have sex w/him.I am not ready for this.I have had alot of trouble getting close to him because of some personal reasons.I told him this and he said if i didnt then i didnt relly love him.I dont want to lose my boyfriend but i am not ready for sex.Can anyone help please,i am so confused.

 

Meagan

[Protex]

Whoa!

 

Girl, let me tell you. If this man really loved you, he would not pressure you into anything you were not ready for.

 

By him saying, "Oh if you don't have sex with me, you must not love me"

 

Sex is an expression of love yes, but it should only be preformed when BOTH people are ready. Your virginity is a special thing, and you are quite young.

 

I'm telling you, I've seen this happen to my friends. It's a sad reality, men like this are bad news. You'll have sex with him, give up your virginity and he will go and find someone new.

 

If he truly loved you he would respect your decision and not pressure you into ANYTHING you aren't ready for.

 

Please, please do not let him manipulate you. You have the right to say "No", always remember that.

 

Best of luck, and God Bless.

[neva_black_n_white]

girl, you are one of the strongest people ive met, i remember getting pushed around by men so that they could get what they want, and im not saying hes pushing you around im saying that i have experianced something mildly similar but vastly different, and trust me, when i stoud up for myself like you are doing now it was the most empowering thing, when i didnt let it happen. you need to be true to yourself, you are already open with him, age is something you have chosen and i dont think there is anythign wrong as long as you are as you are and are not allowing him to be one sided and forceful.

 

everything said in the aove post is correct, i mean youve told him about youir past whatever did happen and now you need to state how you feel, say no to him and that he would understand if he loved you, and if this mean he does walk then unfortunatley he does but i can assure you you wont have regret and you feel stronger.

 

hold onto your own hope, if you want to talk, pm me, i know your a real nice gal.

 

kel

[keep45]

Agreed with everyone. Don't let him do such a thing.

 

And by the way, it's only my opinion, but I consider 14 WAY too young for anything like that.

[neva_black_n_white]

i agree tha is way too young for sex but i do feel that people do become engaged in a relationship at this time, and i guess it depends on views of relationship that makes it correct. not that im saying that this relationship is not, but i have seen some people go into relationships for the wrong reasons, you know?

 

kel

[jessijess]

Sex, & espesicially your virginity, is a very special gift. It should be saved for someone you love & respect & who feels the same wasy about you. Any guy who would dump you for not having sex, isn't worth having. I had the same thing happen to me when I was 16 & you know what? I was much better without him.

If he can't respect your decision to wait, then he doesn;t respect you.

[Meow18]

Everyone is right, he should not be pressuring you into this.

 

Sex is about expressing your love, but its also about being ready to take that step in your relationship. He's not right when he says that you don't really love him if you aren't ready to have sex with him. Thats a major thing & your virginity is an important thing & you have to be sure you are ready before you give it to just anyone. You just aren't ready & that has nothing to do with your love.

 

Don't give in to him until you are 100% sure you are ready to take this step. Once you lose your virginity, there's no getting it back. Make sure you lose it to a special person because only one person can take your virginity & you don't want to give it to a guy who is a jerk.

 

The fact is, your boyfriend doesn't truly love you if he's not willing to wait until you are ready to have sex. Relationships are about respect for the other person. If he doesn't care that you aren't ready, then he doesn't respect you. Hes a jerk & I can guarantee that if you do have sex with him, he won't be around very long after that.

 

You can tell which guys are only in it for the sex. If the guy says "we need to have sex to express our love & if you don't have sex with me, then it means you don't really love me" then he's really saying that he doesn't care how you feel, he just wants sex & hes going to do anything to get it. You can also tell if the guy is only in it for sex if he tries bribing you into it, or makes you feel guilty if you don't.

 

You can tell if a guy really cares & loves you if he says that he's willing to wait as long as you want to have sex. If he respects your choice about not wanting sex right now, then that definantly shows that your boyfriend loves you for you & not just to get sex.

 

Be careful with your boyfriend. He doesn't seem to have much respect for you. Just be strong & wait until you are ready, he can't make you do anything. Not having sex with him because you aren't ready does not mean you don't love him. Love is more than sex, sex is just a more intimate way to express you love, but there are other ways to show a person you love them. Don't give in to him. He may threaten to break up with you if you don't have sex with him, but you know what? You will be happier without him than having sex with him when you aren't ready. Don't do it if you aren't ready because you wil regret it.

[tRiKTa]

This guy is bad news get rid of him if he is trying to force u into having sex he is definitely no good. Your virginity is something important and it is up to u when u give it up and who u give it up too. When u are ready u will know it is not something u are forced into it is your choice to make as it is your virginity cherish your first moment as u only lose your virginity once and it is something you will always remember

[ComputerGuy]

Dump him now, he is just using you to try and get laid. If he truly loved you, he would accept the fact u loved him without you having to prove it through sex (or in any other way for that matter) and that you don't want to do anything like this just yet ebcause you're not ready. He would not try and pressure you into it or make you feel guilty for saying no if he loved you.

 

You deserve better.

[littlelady148]

oh how well I remember this line " he said if i didnt then i didnt relly love him." Do you hear anything in there that says concern for YOU??? its all about HIM. My answer is " if YOU love me, then you wouldnt want me to do something Im not ready for"

All situations are not the same but in my case at your age when the boy of my dreams said that to me...... I went along with it. I had visions of us together forever from then on. We were in love and had done the most intimate thing together. Well, next day at school he never even looked at me, muttered hi and went his way. From that day on, he called and came over ( for sex) which I supplied , making excuses for his avoiding me in public or acknowledging we were a couple. He was just shy. NO he was just using me and it hurt when he took someone else to a dance or other events and not me. I finally wised up but there was a lot of pain I went through by doing something I wasnt ready to do just to PROVE to him how much i cared. Did he try and prove HE carred??? NOOOO I say DONT DO IT and if he cant accept that move on , you deserve someone who loves you not someone who wants you to PROVE you love them.

[i_hate_the_world47]

Thanks everyone for the advice.i think i know what i am going to do now.