Am I too jealous about his female friend?

[PrettyGood]

He's my boyfriend of 1 year. Currently we live in different countries, because of job contract. But we visit each other every 3 months. It is the most romantic and loving meeting ever... We live together, spend time happily and meet our friends. In his foreign country he found a nice woman who knows him longer than me. He says that she's a friend just because of this reason.

 

She's so generous, that she bakes cakes and make sushi for him and his friends from time to time. When he go to smoke, she goes together, when he goes to courses, she goes together and she calls him so often just to tell him about her day. She knows me personally and she knows that we're in serious friendship. But it doesn't look like I'm some trouble for her to 'date' him (I don't know how to call this type of relationships between them). He say he loves me so much that he couldn't betray me with her, because she's 'just a friend'.

 

This Christmas he got a 'funny' present from his male friends - Kamasutra book. And guess what - he took this book to read to another country. Now I'm so jealous and so afraid that they wouldn't try those things in practice when I don't see... Am I paranoid and too jealous about all of it? Because she really tries to flirt with him and he say that he doesn't care about her as a woman, just as a friend. I'm so afraid because I want to the the one serious girlfriend in his life, but I also know that he wouldn't let me to dictate what friends should he choose and be with. What should I do?

[annalisa84]

Okay.. before you told about the present, I was like yeah.. people can have opposite sex friends. He does not keep her as a secret, you two are happy with each other and you have met her, so no problem.

 

BUT I would FREAK OUT if a female frined of my boyfriend would give him a Kamasutra book. You give this book to someone who you want to try those sexy positions! I cannot ever imagine giving a Kamasutra book to a male friend of mine, especially who has a girlfriend.

 

That is so highly inapproprite!

 

And I think that the most innocent explination is that she has a crush on your bf and your bf is just enjoying the attention. I would still talk with him that it makes you feel uncomfortable and if he could have a talk with her about the friendship and bounderies, you would feel more sure.

 

She should back off! Thsi gift is not funny, it is provoking.

[sara-pezzini]

she didn't give that book, one of his male friends did...

[RainDrop 2911]

Hmmmm, have you tried talking to the other girl.. you said you knew her personally, you could maybe try asking her if she has any feelings for him.

Then you may have a better idea of the relationship they are having. Not to say that if she has romantic feelings for him, he would have them mutually, but you could atleast know wether

your man was in safe hands...

[PrettyGood]

Well I think that I would look stupid by asking her these things because first of all - she's clever - she will not tell me the truth because she may know the chance of conflict, and the other thing - she will tell him that I asked about it and he will think that I don't trust him.

[Maroney555]

Have you talked with your boyfriend in depthly about this relationship he has with her?

[Lunatone]

Hopefully both of them will be honest with you, if you choose to confront them. If nothing is going on, chances are nothing will change between them, especially since they are so "close." If they're cool, they'll back off from one another because your feelings are important too. I think it's better to confront them and risk losing him quick and easy as opposed to dragging out this issue. Talk to them and see what their true intentions are. If you don't want to get hurt, remember you are hurting already.