Dealing with anger?

[Irial]

Hi everybody, I know this has probably been asked a bunch of times before, but how do I deal with post-breakup anger?

 

My ex left me 3.5 weeks ago and it seems today I feel really mad at him for what he did and how he did it. I just feel like contacting him and letting him know that I hate him and that I never want to talk to him again. That he wasted 4 years of my life, that he put me through this crap, and that he was such a coward for not letting me know how he was feeling until I brought it up.

 

I know all this is normal, and I will stay NC. But how do I get rid of these feelings? I thought I was doing better but yeah. One day is better, the next is horrible. Mood swings all the time. It doesn't help that I keep on dreaming about him, too.

 

Thank you all for your time

[TexasDude]

It just takes time. Move on and find a new boyfriend and while it might take a year, your anger over him will fade away. Don't contact him and don't let him contact you, otherwise you'll reopen fresh wounds over and over again. It's best to cut your ties and start anew.

[MayJane]

It will go from anger to sadness n anger etc it's like one vicious circle and it is really hard to know how to deal with these feelings. I have been angry the past few days & I wrote a big long email to my ex but I just saved it, made me feel better. I have no idea if I will end up sending it or not, I feel like he never explained our end and that I can't heal. But people say that they don't have answers and it's best to stay away.

 

It's tough regardless. I suggest maybe writing you thoughts down just to get them off your chest and try stay no contact. Maybe tomorrow you may have a better day than today but just take each day as it comes XXX

[Irial]

It just takes time. Move on and find a new boyfriend and while it might take a year, your anger over him will fade away. Don't contact him and don't let him contact you, otherwise you'll reopen fresh wounds over and over again. It's best to cut your ties and start anew.

 

Thanks for your reply, I am trying to move on but I am not really interested in a new relationship at the moment. I am not contacting him and I doubt he'll ever contact me.

[Irial]

It will go from anger to sadness n anger etc it's like one vicious circle and it is really hard to know how to deal with these feelings. I have been angry the past few days & I wrote a big long email to my ex but I just saved it, made me feel better. I have no idea if I will end up sending it or not, I feel like he never explained our end and that I can't heal. But people say that they don't have answers and it's best to stay away.

 

It's tough regardless. I suggest maybe writing you thoughts down just to get them off your chest and try stay no contact. Maybe tomorrow you may have a better day than today but just take each day as it comes XXX

 

Thank you for your answer, I am going through the same circle and I will try to write down what I feel. I have done that before but it didn't really help that much. I think my ex doesn't have any answers for me, so it is indeed best to stay away. I hope tomorrow is a better day, thanks for your advice

[TexasDude]

Oh trust me, I know how you feel. I got out of a long relationship with a LOT of anger and the last thing I wanted for more than a year after was another relationship. I met Newyorkcitygirl only a few months after the breakup and luckily for me she had the patience to wait me out and show me that there are great girls out there. I hope you have the same kind of luck I had.

[nihongo]

I agree with MayJane. Writing is the best. I have about 30 mails I wrote and saved in my iPhone - some happy, angry, sad, reminiscent - but I never sent them. But I did feel better. Also, reading and replying to others on this forum helps.

[Irial]

I agree with MayJane. Writing is the best. I have about 30 mails I wrote and saved in my iPhone - some happy, angry, sad, reminiscent - but I never sent them. But I did feel better. Also, reading and replying to others on this forum helps.

 

Thank you, I'll definitely try then!

[TidalWave]

Whenever I get angry, I take it and turn it into motivational force, which helps me grow and become a better person than I am. The important thing is to be honest to yourself. Otherwise it won't work.

 

There's no point in blaming others they put you through this or that crap. You let them put you through it. Be angry with yourself not with others. If you valued yourself better than you did, you wouldn't let anyone hurt you. Lesson is, know what you're worth, put that price tag on yourself and never discount the price

[shes2smart]

Personal ritual of some sort.

 

I prefer something that includes a lot of angry scrawling (pen & paper, longhand)....then burning the pages and scattering the ashes. I find it catharctic.

 

I also spent a good amount of time & money with a therapist going over the same stuff again and again and again until I was done with it.

 

Those things worked for me, YMMV.