chai714 Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Hi folks, It's day 3 of NC (which I don't know how the freak I didn't call her yet), and was wondering if sending her a package with some of her stuff that I have would be considered communication. No letter, no words, just her stuff in a small box. Would this be considered "contact?" Link to comment
Christi84 Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I wouldn't say it is contact but at the same time, it would be making a statement. Link to comment
DopeStar Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I think you should just throw it all away, that's what I did with anything I found that was my ex's. If it was hers and it had some monetary value, I felt even better throwing it away. Screw her and her stuff if they're not in your life anymore why bother caring about their stuff. Throw the box in the trash and be liberated!!!!!! Link to comment
hurtbylove Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I think you should just throw it all away, that's what I did with anything I found that was my ex's. If it was hers and it had some monetary value, I felt even better throwing it away. Screw her and her stuff if they're not in your life anymore why bother caring about their stuff. Throw the box in the trash and be liberated!!!!!! Well.. depending on the nature of the breakup you should usually return the stuff. Throwing away all her stuff when you could have given it back will likely burn a lot of bridges. Why not just be an adult about it and drop it off? It's already a bad situation you don't need to put more fuel into the fire. Link to comment
DopeStar Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Well.. depending on the nature of the breakup you should usually return the stuff. Throwing away all her stuff when you could have given it back will likely burn a lot of bridges. If the break up was bad enough to render NC the best option, then who cares what bridges you burn. Ok, if you want get her back at some point, hold on to all the stuff, she'll think it's cute or some crap but if your never getting back with her then just throw the stuff out, it will help you move on. I don't know the whole situation so that's the best general advice I can give you. Link to comment
chai714 Posted July 20, 2004 Author Share Posted July 20, 2004 It wasn't a bad breakup, which makes it so hard! She went to Hawaii with some family, came back, and decided she "wasn't in love with me" anymore, but she still "loves me." WTF is that supposed to mean? All I know is I have some of her credit cards (I was helping her not charge any more money on them), and some pictures, that I was gonna box up and send via the Post Office. Now tell me what you think . . Link to comment
DopeStar Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 She is stringing you along throw her crap out and move on... Link to comment
chai714 Posted July 20, 2004 Author Share Posted July 20, 2004 Dope - I wish I had your hardcore attitude. . . . .if you didn't already read, I gave in and called my ex. That was when I heard the words I feared most, "I don't want to work things out." Work what out? I'm not the one who broke up with her. There was NOTHING for me to work out, just her - I was the one who wanted to STAY TOGETHER. ouch. Link to comment
DopeStar Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 This attitude is nothing more then a callus, you have the perfect opportunity form this callus for yourself now, I suggest you use it. Link to comment
skynet74 Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Here is a question. I initiated No Contact 11 Days ago. Today my Ex called me and I picked up. Had a very brief chat. But does this mean I broke No Contact? Is any contact considered Breaking NC even if you arn't the one who initiated it? John Link to comment
hurtbylove Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Be the better man in this, there is no reason to act like a jerk. I was the same way, I thought about holding onto my exs' things and not giving it back to her.. If one person wants out of a relationship then it's over. I know it's hard that you want to stay together and "work things out" but she doesn't. I was in the same boat.. I would do anything for her, I was willing to work out any problems but she didn't want to anymore. Sometimes people do just change, or want to figure out what they want. If you still do have feelings for that person, just let them go. Don't try to "hurt them back" in any way just because they hurt you. I think the karmic balance of things will just be better if you take the higher ground. Give it closure, box it up and send it her way. --------- To skynet I think that yes "No Contact" was broken, but you didn't break it she did. Without knowing any more details, did she miss you, call for a trivial reason, just checking up etc? It's hard to tell what people are up to. Could just be testing the waters to see how you're doing, or mabye she felt like she made a mistake, the possibilities are endless. Link to comment
TheDoctor Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Chai my man...chill out your flipping out. This is completley normal but go play a video game, read a book.....try to focus on the now for a little while. Link to comment
TheDoctor Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 and lastly chai..FIGHT IT!!! Link to comment
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