Puzzled

[Inquirer89]

So this guy I've been getting to know. I've noticed he seems a tad preoccupied as of late. Between seeing his son, work and whatnot (he works 2 jobs and has a son to take care of). So I've backed off a bit. I even didn't text him for a couple days to kinda of give him some space. Well my sister tells me that he was telling her boyfriend how he was upset that I hadn't texted him for a couple days. I laugh, and say that's cute, and he seemed a bit busy/preoccupied and didn't want to bug him and seem like some crazy person. He hadn't texted me at all those 2 days I never contacted him, figuring he had other things on his mind, and didn't want to be bothered. She said she had told her boyfriend that, which I'm pretty sure got back to the guy I've been seeing. I'm not sure what all this means? I know he's busy and he's on the phone a lot with his son's mother, to plan things out for the holidays and other things regarding his son. They have joint custody. Whenever we see each other we always kiss and hug each other bye, we hold hands and stuff..the body language hasn't changed one bit when it comes to affection so I don't feel he's become disinterested. He enjoys our time spent together, as do I. Every time we see each other things go great, we have a fun time, even if we're not out having drinks or dancing and just hanging out.

 

He's a shy guy and is just like me, I don't really like to tell somebody how I actually feel or am thinking at times. We both will even have our mom's call people for us about important stuff lol. So I think it all may be that we're so alike that we aren't texting each other fearing we'll drive the other away. We both, apparently tell somebody else who we know will spread the info to the right people to have it get back to the other, meaning ourselves. I've never had the opportunity to get to know somebody who is also shy so I may just be experiencing something I've yet to experience. Should I just ask him about it? And instead of assuming?

[DylanNotorious]

I would text him the way you normally would.

 

You are assuming that he is preoccupied. Continue the normal behavior that you would normally do - unless he tells you to stop.

[butterfly0424]

Keep texting and contacting him. Even if he is busy, he will get back to you.

 

Also, dont be shy. Let him know how you feel. I made that mistake with the last guy I was seeing. We broke up 2 days ago. I know its because I wasn't vocal in letting him know how I felt. I was letting him lead. He too, was busy with work and his daughters most of the time. He is a shy guy, also.

[Inquirer89]

Well, I've been texting him, being the same with my behavior. He hasn't been initiating contact for a little while now, up until last night when he asked me how my exam went. When I initiate he will get back with me, I'm just at a loss on how to read this guy. When we first met and for awhile he would initiate contact all the time asking how I am, or how's did class go and what am I up to but he seems to of backed off completely from doing that. I've never once mentioned why that behavior has changed, we aren't exclusive and it would convey neediness, so I've let it go. It doesn't really bother me I just am curious as to why he's doing it. Whenever we do hangout or see each other at places his body language is always the same. He doesn't ignore my presence whatsoever. I'm wondering if it's because I've been a tad too affectionate when I'm with him. My sister had told me he was saying to her boyfriend about how I'm a bit clingy but it isn't a bad thing, because he isn't used to the hand holding, and me sitting next to him hugged onto him. His ex girlfriend never gave him any affection she always kept her space between him. I can understand that and respect that, so I'm not concerned. We both know we like each other.

 

His interest is still there because my sister had invited me to go with her to a party that he was going to be at, so her, him and her boyfriend and I all go. At one point about a few hours into the party, somebody asks him if he was there with me, he tells them yes without any hesitation. He never invited me to go with him so I was flattered he said that. A while after I'm just standing having conversation with a couple people and I feel somebody come up from behind and put their arms around my waist and hug onto me. I freak out wondering if it's some creep, but it was him At the end of the party I drive him home, and he leans in to kiss me, and it was amazing as it always is. He's keeping me guessing that's for sure. I'm just wondering what anybody else's take is on him. I"m not sure if it means anything or if I'm being paranoid, but last night I was telling him how I have been wanting to ask if he wanted to hangout or something a few times but didn't because of the bad timing, and that I've been pretty shy lately and had no clue why I was lol. He replies saying yeah, I really haven't had time to chill or hang except the 1 day every 2 weeks when my oldest is gone and I'm not seeing the other one. I told him I understood that time is short when you're busy with kids and I didn't want to bug him when he's busy with his kids. We've hung out before when he's had his oldest but I can understand if he doesn't want to hang out when he has his oldest because I'm not exclusive and bringing another woman into his child's life who may or may not end up being there would be harmful for the child. Especially if his real mother is always going to be in the picture. I don't want him to have his child get to know me well and then things not working out and I not ever coming back into his child's life, that would break his heart, I couldn't do that. He's still open to do things though which is good. Asked him if he wanted to catch a movie with him sometime and he said that sounds good. He's just a hard man for me to read, him being the shy type and all.

[DylanNotorious]

It all sounds like too much hard work on your part.

 

He didn't even invite you as his "date" to the party, that's a bit slack isn't it? Then comes onto you at the party with no hesitation, I'd imagine after feeling good from having a few drinks.

 

You keep talking about all this shy behaviour, it's not shyness it's just the interest isn't that high.