SHOULD I BE MAD?

[summerdreams]

Alright i've been going out with this guy for a yr. His parents live really far away and they just came to visit for the summer. Anyways, my bf has a wedding to go to this weekend (a friend of his parents son is getting married). Anyways, my bf didn't invite me. We were talking about the wedding on the phone and i didn'r really think anything of it...but then i talked to one of my friends and she said that he SHOULD have invited me and that she would have been really mad if it had been her. I talked to ANOTHER friend who said that i would be completely over reacting because i had only met his parents for 5 minutes (i haven't gotten the chance to meet them formally yet) and that it's close friends of the family so maybe he would feel a little weird inviting me when his parents haven't really gotten the chance to know me yet. My bf said he would call me after the weekend so we can see each other...but now i'm confused and i don't know if i should be mad or not... i can't even know for myself if i am or not because i'm more in the middle of what my two friends have said.

[evepm]

Dear summerdreams:

 

I would definetly talk to him about this and get more facts before you get upset with him. Weddings can be expensive and maybe there just wasn't room on the guest list for another person.

 

Make sure you talk to him face to face so that you read his body language. Good Luck.

 

evepm

[Meow18]

If he was allowed to bring a date, then it should have been you. However, I'm thinking since its his parent's friends, then just his family got invited & he wasn't allowed to bring a date.

 

Do you even know this person who is getting married? Do they know of you? If you have never met them & they might not even know you exsist, then of course they wouldn't have invited you.

 

It would be rude of your boyfriend to invite you when he wasn't supposed to bring a date along. Weddings are expensive & unless he was told that he could bring someone, it would be rude of him to bring you along.

 

I wouldn't get mad about it. Its not really his choice, its the people who are getting married's choice on who is invited.

[ComputerGuy]

If it was just a close family thing, I wouldn't be worried if I got left behind. I would almost prefer it, because I would feel really out of place around all these people celebrating a couple and not knowing either the couple or the people ther outside of being aquainted with them. Anyway, I wouldn't be too worried about it, If you were married or close to the family then it would be a different matter, but as it is you aren't, so I say don't stress about it.

[Rahll]

Yea it sounds like a family thing.

 

Just ask him, dont say "Why didnt you invite me" instead just casually ask "So who all is going to be at the wedding".

 

It could be that he doesnt really want to go, and that since he doesnt want to go, he assumesn that you probally wouldnt want to go either.

[ShuShu Fontana]

I'm sorry honey, but I'd be mad. You've been going out for a YEAR and he didn't ask you to the wedding? He didn't even say, "Oh, it's a family thing and I'm not allowed to bring a guest?" Why didn't he give you an explanation of any kind? This doesn't make any sense to me, child.

 

I would ask him why he didn't invite you. You don't have to have an attitude about it, just say hey, why didn't you invite me? It kind of hurt my feelings. And listen to what he has to say. That just seems swful strange to me, honey. Don't assume anything about it just being "a family thing". Ask that man flat out what is going on. It's the only way you're going to know the truth. Honest and open communication.

[sayer7]

I had a similar experience with my ex-bf of almost 2 years... it had been 2 years and 2 weddings in his family... he'd known I'd never been to one in my life and that I wanted to go but he never invited me to go along. To top it off I was very close to his family- I knew his entire family and spent time with them every week and I always knew who was getting married.

 

The 3rd wedding his mother had to invite me to go to the wedding for him and forced him to go. It was really rather kinda sad and awkward-- especially when he didn't open any doors for me (car doors, restaurant doors, church doors) and basically blew me off and ignored me the entire time-- at the end of the day his mother was really upset she hadn't brought him up with manners.

 

That's when I learned he wasn't anywhere near ready for marriage to anyone because he said marriage was what 'old' people did and he wasn't ready for that kind of committment and probably would never be.

 

So you should really talk to him about why he doesn't want to go to a wedding with you, or why he doesn't invite you to go to his family functions so that you can get to know his family more.

 

Just my two cents....

[neewollah]

I wouldn't be mad, as others have already said, he might not have an invitation for a couple.

 

 

When my Godfather's daughter got married I jut got a personal invitation, no couple. My Godfather knows my GF, but she wasn't invited...

[jaiva]

If you don't know if you should be mad then don't be. That would be a waste of anger and it might cause a problem in your relationship. Talk to your mate about how you feel and what you think and then respond in a mature manner, especially since you aren't mad.

Jaiva