Transition from NC to LC, Should I send this letter?

[AlwaysAnxious]

Hello I will give you a brief outline on my situation. We have been BU for almost 3 months now, and have been NC for about 2 weeks now. During this time of NC I have ignored a few texts, and only responded once in a non emotional cold way because she was concerned and asked me a direct question and all the other texts I ignored were small talk. For the first month we were in constant contact and then we started to drift apart the second month. I feel like I am bottling up my emotions because I think about her everyday and I still truly love and care for her. Maybe she feels the same way and the more I ignore her then she might start to think I don't care anymore and forget about me. The breakup was mutual and more or less on good terms, most of our issues were due to a lack of communication leading to fights and arguments that were fueled by bottled up emotions. She was my best friend and we did almost everything together.

 

I have done a ton of thinking about my situation lately and have acknowledged my mistakes and the causes of our breakup. I have been working on myself and I believe I am a much better man now.

 

I am thinking about sending her this email to let her know how I feel. Should I send it? Does it sound to emotional? Maybe I should wait a while because it's only been 2 weeks NC. I truly think my best chance at getting her back would be to start over and build a new friendship. Our friendship and the time we spent together is what made us fall in love the first time.

 

So here is the email, let me know what you guys think. Thanks!

 

"So yesterday was thanksgiving, a day to spend with the people that you care about and to give thanks for what is in my life and for what has come and gone. I had a great time but I got to thinking about what you were up to and how your doing, then I realized it was none of my business anymore. Maybe it's because you were my best friend and a big part of my life over the past few years. What I'm trying to say is that lately I've been thinking about the friendship that we are losing. I'm going to put my pride on the shelf because I now know how important communication is and bottling up my emotions tore us apart as a couple and it would be shame to lose a friendship from the same mistakes...I miss you, as a friend and as a person. Whatever life may be throwing your way just know that somewhere in this world someone still cares about you."

[gottogeton]

I think you should send it but clarify it a bit. If you want to her to risk the potential pain of being friends with an ex, you need to set up some guidelines/expectations/boundaries for her to feel comfortable doing so.

 

Some other considerations...

 

If she decides she is willing to continue your friendship that is no guarantee she'll be interested in getting back into a relationship with you. You could just be prolonging your 'anxiety' and setting yourself up for jealousy/heartbreak if another guy comes into the picture.

 

You need to decide if not telling her you want her back may backfire into her thinking your friendship isn't genuine.

 

Imho if she says she isn't ready/interested you need to go NC for a few months, two weeks of NC isn't nearly long enough to recover.

[SparklyBoots]

It has been a short time of NC so she isn't just going to forget you in a hurry but if you feel the need to send this, it isn't too bad, especially if it really was a mutual split where you both care about each other - and if you really honestly can deal with just being friends...if communication was an issue have you really explored how to communicate better...that is something that you really have to work hard on and it will take time and effort...

[AlwaysAnxious]

I know there aren't any guarantees about getting back together, but I do know that if I don't try to become friends again then my chances are slim to none at getting her back. The last thing I want to do is tell her I love her and want her back because I wouldn't want to scare her away before I even had a chance to rekindle a friendship. I guess my only issue about sending this would be the time, maybe 2 weeks NC is to short to be sending this. I just don't know if I can keep living with all of the emotions I have bottled up right now. I am willing to accept whatever she decides is best for us.

 

@SparklyBoots you are right about taking time and effort to work on my communication, I deff will continue to work on my issues. Not to get get my ex back but to make me a better man.

 

If there was a way to read minds then I guess all of us would know exactly what our ex's were thinking and there would be no reason for this forum but I can't read minds and that's why I'm here asking for any advice before I make anymore mistakes.

[AlwaysAnxious]

Sent it yesterday, no response. Guess this is the closure I needed, time to move on. I actually feel really gd and I hope she doesn't respond until I'm fully over her.

[brandon5359]

Good luck! I am in a similar situation. I wish you nothing but the best.