Should i tell Her il wait for Her?

[hunters53]

hello,

iv knowen this girl for almost a year and iv been in love with her for almost a year. she has a BF. should i tell her i love her so much that i will wait for her to start a relationship? if the anwser is yes, how can i tell her it so i can bring her to tears or make her want me/need me? advice would be helpfull!!

[hurtbylove]

No, I don't think it's a good idea to do that.

 

Don't come on too strong onto her, especially if she doesn't know.

 

She will likely be overwhelmed and afraid if you did that. If she is secure in her relationship, she would have no reason to come to you.

 

Especially don't come out and say that you love her. If you just drop a hint that you like her, flirt that's ok, but don't lay it all out there and declare your undying devotion to her.

 

Saying that you'll wait for her is kind of strange too.

[ECD]

Read my reply to your first thread. I hope it helps

[lady00]

You should never have to wait for someone to get out of a relationship to be with you. If you let someone know that you will wait for them, they probably won't respect you. people are attracted to those who are confident and happy and independent and don't need anyone else. by telling her you'd wait for her you are showing her that you are very needy and that you're willing to let yourself get walked all over. it also will make her think that you are not confident or open-minded enough to know that there are plenty of beautiful, lovely SINGLE women out there for you. I'm not saying you should try and forget about her but keep her in the back of you mind and be a good friend to her. Don't tell her you'll wait, just hang around and show her you care and try to date other women. don't make her feel that you're dependent on her. If she does break up your bf, you'll be in a good position to be her next bf. Allow yourself the possibility of falling for and loving another woman...that way you'll be fine if you remain friends with this one.

[Beec]

Definitely don't tell her that.

 

Somebody might be able to grab her away from him, but not by waiting, and I think you'd need to learn soem before you tried.

[parisian_pink]

I have read both your posts apparently regarding this girl, and I can see one thing in common here: your bizerre wish to make her cry as you reveal your true feelings.

 

Umm...I don't know if you've seen too many Mandy Moore movies or Dawson's Creek reruns, but she is more likely to feel freaked out and caught off-guard than share a passionate moonlit moment with you. And when I say "more likely," I mean the second scenario won't happen. Ever.

 

If she really likes you and respects you, she won't promise that you are the next person on her list after she is "through" with her current boyfriend. If she was willing to do that, that would show that she doesn't take commitment or relationships seriously, because it would show no commitment to her current boyfriend, and it shows no respect to you dangling you there like a cat toy.

 

Also, I GUARANTEE it will screw up/complicate your friendship, and don't expect some thing where she gushes, "and I've always loved you, too!" because if she did, she wouldn't be with another guy.

 

You also seem to have self-esteem issues. Big ones. You are too needy if you are willing to be her doormat, and you are far too emotionally high-maintainence if you require someone to gush and cry over you. It ain't gonna happen, bro. You clearly are looking for someone to fill a void that you feel...maybe you don't feel wanted or loved enough. I would recommend joining some activities like sports, drama club, art club, or whatever activities your school offers. By discovering your hidden talents and showcasing them for others, you will see your self-confidence grow. Especially if you are in drama club...it's practically a requirement that you be overly emotional! Just kidding, but seriously, it will introduce you to new people who can see you from a fresh perspective, and they will find your talents and newfound confidence to be attractive. You need to create your own self-esteem. No girl can give it to you.

 

In the mean time, stop dwelling and obsessing and trying to create the perfect moment, the perfect girlfriend. Those things don't exist, and you certainly can't force them to. Learn to like yourself first, be a good friend, stay out of this girl's personal life, and meet new people so your social circle isn't so limited. Time apart will definitely help her to realize that she apreciates your friendship, and as hard as this is to accept, if it is meant to be, it will happen on its own.