It's been 9months, I am ok, but I still can't get him out oy

[mademoiselle_amelie]

It's been 9mths,

More than 2mths since i've had any contact at all, but even before then, it was very minimal

I have tried everythign to get over him, gone out with other guys, even travelled to the other side of the world.

But everything just keeps coming back to him. I still love him!

Something keeps telling me that he is the one. But he cant be , cause if he was the one , then he would try to contact me.

He had a girlfriend after me , but i think thats over now.

I am in Paris, he is is in Australia. I am having the time of my life - dont worry about that. I am not letting him ruin my travels. But when it comes to my love life, i am in a rut. No one else interests me.

Do i contact him when i get back? - whenever that may be - 2 months, perhaps longer. MAybe by then , by some miracle i will be over him?

Do I send him a letter of some sort?

What do I do?????????

Is 9mths just too long? HAve stranger things happened?

Any opinions, help , similar stories?? anything would be greatful!!

Thank You

[wickerbasket]

I think you should contact him. Some may say you need to face the facts, it's over, you're too clingy, whatever. I don't think any of that's important. If you love him, tell him so, and clarify for yourself once and for all so you can either get back together with him or really focus on moving on. So write him a letter or call but make sure you make your feelings heard. You at least owe that to yourself.

[mademoiselle_amelie]

Thank You!!

i don't think i am too clingy. i've totally become an independent person. i am traveling alone, and have grown up alot and changed in so many good ways since i flew off. i kind of have him to thank for that. him pushing me away forced me to get on with it and become my own person again.

I guess i want him to see that, and yes my feelings are still so strong. I know i can live without him if i have to. but i dont want to. my heart doesnt want to.

I guess i will tell him how i feel, it's the only way. but how???? do i wait and see how i feel when i next see him? i dont want to jump into anything straight away. i dont want to profess my undying love to him just yet.

 

I guess i just want to be in contact with him again, even if it means just being friends and see how we go from there. I am over being to hurt for that. I am over crying, i am over this whole thing affecting my life.

I just know that he is the only one for me.

sorry to ramble!!!

[Sturm]

its quite strange bec`ause i went through the samething with the man I love today ...to this very day

I truly believe you should grab ahold of yourself realize that you got one shot of this life.

 

If he is worth it in your heart mind soul than send him a letter or an email express to him the truth. Your truth because in the end thats all that matters.

 

I went through something quite similiar for a year i did not see the one guy i actually couldnt get out of my head. Finally called him when i got back from a trip "accross the world" ...and now it will be 4 years soon that we have been in love...

You have nothing to loose by trying hun

 

good luck!!! I know how it feels you just feel so alone eventhough you are having the time of your life and are independent....sometimes its good to not be cold and let yourself go ....

[Mrs_Spoon]

You are a very brave young woman, and the number of months shouldn't matter if you believe he is the one Do call him, e-mail him, even write a letter, and express yourself as fully as you want to. After your break-up, did you remain on good friendship terms? I know my impulsive, irrational moves are not usually ones that I would recommend others follow, but this person evidently means so much to you, so seize the opportunity

 

I don't know if this just the case with girls, but sometimes we tend to be so paranoid and worried about the outcome should it not be the way in which we happily anticipated.....I think boys handle this sort of thing a little better There is one person in particular who I once met 4 years ago, and encountered again last week, and I wish I'd told him how much he still meant to me, even though all those years ago I was young, naive and silly. The man in question seems to be an integral part of your life, and if you are feeling inquisitive about the situation, and having multitudes of those 'What if?' quandaries, then it wouldn't do any harm to come clean. You sound like an absolutely amazing person, so please don't fear, you have nothing to lose, and whatever the outcome, good or bad (I am dearly hoping it is good), you'll know in your heart that you tried! And that can't be bad now, can it?

[a_little_sparrow]

Amelie,

 

I definitely think you should try contacting him, but you might want to try testing the waters a bit first. A number of years ago, there was a woman that I broke up with and a year later she contacted me pretty much out of the blue. We started talking, calling more, and then eventually she came to visit me. It was during that visit that we ended up getting back together.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that getting a letter or email that put everything on the line might be just a bit overwhelming. But getting something that showed you were interested in him, his life, and what he might be doing right now would spark all those old affections, and make him think again of how he cared for you. You'll probably get some kind of signal from him that will let you know how he's feeling toward you, and you can make decisions from there.

 

Good luck.

[mademoiselle_amelie]

Wow!!

Thank you for all your advice.

Sturm, your story gives me warmth and hope.

Mrs Spoon, he wanted to remain friends after we broke up, but i refused saying i needed time to heal first. thank you for your support

I saw him a couple of times (just by chance) after that. It was friendly, i acted happy, friendly and light hearted around him.

We have a mutual friend to whom we are both very close to.

This is how I keep up with what he is doing from time to time (usually i dont ask). this friend told me that G (the ex) reads my postcards when he has left the room, and told him that i looked stunning when he saw me. hope is still in the air, though little of it.

a little sparrow, your story made me realise that brek ups are not necessarily forever. it is pointless to live my life, thinking about him and doing nothing about it.

If i contact him , just to chat, see how he is....maybe even send a postcard to say hi....This could break the ice in order to re open the lines of communication , test the friendship.....and maybe , just maybe the love he once felt for me is still burning somewhere in his heart???

 

I know he still cares about me, he just didnt want hurt me anymore.

The relationship moved to quickly in the beginning, he changed my life, and i changed his. we were so in love...then he got scared, backed away a bit...and i couldnt handle it.

 

Anyway...enough rambling..

 

Thank You all for your kind words.

 

So...what do you think is better, to call or write?