Accepting your mother doesn't love you, is it possible?

[carmineappel02]

It can be very hard to accept when your mother doesn't love you.I have known that mine didn't love me since I was very young.It seemed as if she dispensed all her rage on me,because I wasn't like my other sisters.Her favorite daughter was my younger sister.My mother was my bully.When my teachers would praise me,she'd be like "oh that's nice".I remember her look of glee when she would make me cry.I remember when I was sick for several months,and she

didn't want to take me to the doctor that was down the street(I later found out he was down the street),but she traveled over 50 miles so my sister could get some fancy treatment for a simple headache on at least 2 occasions.She told me I was ugly,and thought aloud what my boyfriend saw in me.She said my dad left us because my skin tone was too dark.When I confronted her about all of this before she died,she said I was lying.What comforts me now is the fact I don't have to deal with her anymore. I'm alive,and she's not.

[Tinks Sparkle]

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Hi, I would like to know if anybody here has been able to do it or knows a way to get there.

 

I'm talking about being okay with the fact that your mom doesn't love you and never will, to not expect it and to not want to change it.

 

I tried not caring, I've tried isolating myself, I even tried a mourning ritual, and it did work for a few days, weeks or months but sooner or later I get caught up again which clearly means I've never been able to deal with the way things are.

 

Any advice, please?

IV just seen your post I know it's an old one but I'm going to reply anyway .

Because unfortunately I am also one of the 0.02% of people that isn't loved by their mother .

And. Fortunately for most people they will never be able to comprehend in there wildest dreams how it feels .to know that the one person that is supposed to cherish ,love and care the most about us the most

Just 'Doesn't '

I didnt admit it for years ( 27) to anyone because I thought I was doing something wrong ,that I was a bad daughter that I was just not good enough and had to try harder .

Obviously now as an adult and mother myself I know it wasn't my fault ,but does it get easier the older I get ,do I now accept it ??

The Simple answer is no ,I have tried and tried over the years to not care - but at the next family gathering or ,Christmas lunch I will care and it will hurt cause once again I'm reminded that I'm the only person I know whos mother just doesn't love them

[Dealbreaker]

I came to this thread because the things that happened with my mother had finally reached a limit with me. I've been goggling narcissistic mothers and it shocks me how the description describes my mother to a T. I'm now at the point that I need professional help to successfully stop all contact with my mother in order to be happy again.

 

To everyone that replied to this thread and commented on this poor girl's issues with her mother, I thank you.