Has anybody used an on-line dating service....

[piscesprincess]

Currently, I signed upmon link removed

 

I got one match so far- it seems that without meeting this persona we have so many things in common, which is great.

 

I was just wondering on long- term success...I'm sick of meeting guys that only want my body. That's why I joined- although I posted a few pics b/c physical aattraction is important too, but not the most.

 

Anyone else, join a dating service?

[piscesprincess]

One more thing, I just ended a 3 year relationship with the guy I have been posting about! No more complaining- I am free- the shackles have been cut-off

[woobiegirl]

Yes, I did for over a year. I met some great men who like me, were tired of the games & bar scene. Not only that, it gives you the opportunity to meet people with the same interests that you would probably never bump into otherwise.

 

I found though, that you need to take it slow, take time to correspond via e-mail, exchange pictures, & talk over the phone before meeting (it will tell you allot more than IM'ing) When you do meet for the 1st time, make it a "short" meeting in a public spot. That way if he/she isn't what you expected, neither of you are stuck there for 4-5 hours, and if the meeting is better than expected..you can always extend it.

 

Also remember, not everyone is really who or what they say in their post and I have heard some pretty funny stories (they weren't funny at the time) ....about people who met and the pictures they had on their site were 10 + years old, they actually weighted 200 lbs instead of the 120 they had on their profile, or worse scenerio that they're dangerous...etc. I always asked for a "current photo" and met for a quick drink or @ a coffee shop after work to start. You wouldn't want to meet someone new that you don't get a good vibe from...then be stuck having to have dinner & take in a movie.

 

My end results were very positive, and I'm happy to say that I met my b/f on-line "yahoo singles" and we are now living together. You may want to check out more than one Single site as each has their own group of members & you never know which one may have that special someone for you. American Singles is also a good one.

 

Good luck & be careful

 

Woobiegirl

[Beec]

I've done it and have different thoughts than woobiegirl. I was all for an email or two, but I wanted to speak and meet quickly. Never really thought I got to know anyone through an email or IM. You really get to know most people only when to are talking to them and they are there in front of you. I never saw any reason to spend that much time talking, IMing and emailing, before I met.

 

And yes, I had a few disappointments. The woman who claimed she had an average body, but her belly stuck way out past her breasts was one. I think the real test of chemistry only beigns when and if you meet face to face. Do you know someone before you really meet? I've had wonderful conversations with women, then found we had no chemistry. I've had mediocre conversations and things were better when we met.

 

I met a woman when I was out recently. What is the difference between our one-hour conversation and a few emails? How does she know she can trust me more than the internet date with who I spoke to twice? The one who met me has one adavantage in that she has seen me and my body language etc. and has more to judge me on. A woman in either position shoudl still be careful.

 

I think you need to set your own standard for how and when you meet, then make sure you do it where you are safe.

[woobiegirl]

Hey Beec, Let me re-phrase...

 

I agree that it's not necessary to correspond back & forth for a long period of time before meeting. Like you said, you can't replace face to face to know whether there is chemistry or not...some things just can't be done via internet.

 

My points in my post were made more from lessons I personally learned from my experiences so I learned to "ask" for additional info first like exchanging some pictures & talking over the phone. It was when I didn't do that in the beginning that several of my 1st meetings became disappointments. Example, I met a few men who had similar interests & had fun, active good looking pics posted...but when they walked up to me I didn't know they were the same person. (I would have never recognized them....like a head of hair in the photo & bald when I met them) None of those issues would have really mattered had they been more honest upfront....after all, it's not like your NOT going to notice the difference?? I have a male friend who was chatting with a girl on-line but never talked with her over the phone prior to meeting...when he did meet her every other word was a cuss word. LOL. Had he talked w/her he would have known it wasn't his type of girl. Unfortunately he had to listen to this all during their dinner & then couldn't drop her off fast enough. Using good judgement is important as well as staying safe ....about 6 months ago in Orlando a girl went to a guy's house for the 1st meeting that she met via internet dating & he attacked her while trying to choke her... but luckily she managed to get out of the house with only bruises & being scared to death.

 

Point is, after a few unsuccessful meetings you wil learn to get wiser on your own & figure out how to prevent them. Personally, a few extra steps prevented some bad nights out... as I'd rather stay home in that case. By the way, I heard allot of the same stories as yours...about the weight factor, but then it only takes (1) special person, so you just never know until you try. Overall, it's still a great way to meet people. I still stay in contact with many great people I met from all over the world that I've never met but remained friends with.

 

thanks,

Woobiegirl...

[Beec]

 

Point is, after a few unsuccessful meetings you wil learn to get wiser on your own & figure out how to prevent them. Personally, a few extra steps prevented some bad nights out... as I'd rather stay home in that case.

 

 

woobiegirl,

 

This is our key difference. I go out, meet someone, have no interest and endure the rest of our time together as if nothing is wrong. I try to act as if it is a regular date and that I might want a second. What have I lost, a few hours and a few dollars. Oh well. What might I have gained? Well, a whole heck of a lot if she was the right woman. That's a chance I'll take.

 

Now, I prefer to have a recent photo and one telephone conversation, but not having them does not make me not take the risk that I might have a bad night. I'd say ask, but not getting them is not a deal breaker. My last gf who I met on-line refused the telephone call and just wanted to meet. We dated for about a year.

 

If I can take the preventative steps, then I will. But, the lost of a night and some money is not that big a loss. I'll take my chances.

[piscesprincess]

That woobiegirl & Beec...Trust me I will be careful & not rush into anything. True, physical attraction is important- I ama true believer that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

I'm decent looking. I tried getting my pic on this site, but ther seems to be a problem. My ex- was extremely jealous. he felt that other guys 'looked at me too much'. I am the opposite, I guess we were just too opposite, amoung other things.

 

The irony is, we awill remain friends after all the bs, we have gone through. In my next relationship, there will be no more baggage

 

Thanks again you two

[woobiegirl]

What have I lost, a few hours and a few dollars. Oh well. What might I have gained? Well, a whole heck of a lot if she was the right woman. That's a chance I'll take.

 

Beec,

 

That's a great outlook to have. I always went on my 1st date without expectations other than to have a nice time, meet someone new & make a new friend. Guess I was just dwelling on the fact that with a little x-tra caution, you can avoid some of the dishonest ones, but then you can meet them anywhere....right?

 

Thanks for the great advice! We've certainly given piscesprincess some food for thought.

 

Woobiegirl

[Beec]

Thanks and you're welcome.

 

There both valid points of view and ways to do things.

 

I can see why one would not want to spend a night with someone who they find unattractive. I can remember hoping that no one that I knew would see me, on the date I mentioned above. But, I have taken and would take that chance again.

[Double J]

I have a few experiences with online dating/meetings. I've met a few girls from AOL (all locals), and like someone mentioned above, it is best to look at the meeting as a way to meet a potential friend instead of a way to meet someone you're going to get into an immediate relationship with. In some cases, I wasn't even attracted to the girl after she sent the pic, but I just met her for the heck of it because she seemed like a nice and caring girl i'd like to befriend in person. Of all the ones I've met, there has only been one I got into an actual relationship with (who I talked to for close to 4 years online before meeting -- long story), but it was an on and off thing because she was super immature. The online world is just a fantasy that leads people to idealize others. Face-to-face encounters are what really tell the story.