serendipity28 Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 hi people, I read a post about people getting back together on "getting back together" forum, but not many stories about LDR. Would you have some to share? ´This is not false hope dont give me all the "you shoud move on" speach.... thank you all, looking forward to hear from you Link to comment
theartofruin Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 About three years ago I got involved with a girl in VERY long distance (opposite sides of the Atlantic). We developed strong emotions, intense attraction, but it didn't last obviously. It was more of a fling, dragged out because of the LDR. We fought and fell out, stopped talking, but after a few months got back in touch and became friends again. I went to visit her (this is a year after our romance) and it was great -- although attracted to each other, we just remained friends and very good ones. Maybe 8-9 months later, both single, our long-distance friendship became sexual/romantic again, all the old feelings flooded back, and by May 2009 we were a couple. She came over here a few times, I went and lived over there with the intention of permanent residency. We lasted about one and a half years (we broke up just this week). Part of the problem was the distance inbetween months of not seeing each other (and we never had enough money for that greencard) but also various other issues that all couples have (personality clashes, fighting, whatever). So it didn't work out for me and my girlfriend, but if we had been more mature and rational maybe it would have. Some people just aren't meant to be together. But my point is... in 2007 I was convinced I would never, ever see this girl again. It took two years, but we finally ended up as a couple and temporarily living together and even though for me it's ended in disaster, while it lasted I was with the girl of my dreams. So you never know, it could work out for you! Good luck either way. Link to comment
serendipity28 Posted October 28, 2010 Author Share Posted October 28, 2010 hi theartofruin! thank you so much for sharing your storie. It good to see that love lasts even when you re faraway and nc. I feel exactly how you did back in 2007, never ever going to see him (due to the distance and not a chance of bumping into him) or hear from him...maybe i will maybe i wont. like they say want it´s meant to be will be I guess getting back together in a LDR it is way much harder than a normal relationship, takes more effort, stronger feelings envolved and maybe a bit of luck. I am sorry it didnt work out for you and your girlfriend. it seems it was pretty strong and meaninful. perhaps in the future, who knows. wish you all the best, keep strong I will too! Link to comment
serendipity28 Posted October 28, 2010 Author Share Posted October 28, 2010 guess there aren´t much... Link to comment
pillowtalk Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 I'm curious about this, too, as my breakup was in a LDR. For me, I'm especially curious, because he is supposed to move back here soon... I'm wondering how I can keep that door of reconciliation open until then Link to comment
serendipity28 Posted October 28, 2010 Author Share Posted October 28, 2010 pillowtalk, must be hard knowing that he will be back soon and wonder how is it going to be! And you might keep the door open till he comes back cause it ´s not long is it? But let me tell you something and im not an expert in any of this things: keep growing strong, improving yourself and healing cause im pretty sure that when comes back and if you want to talk with him, it will be better for both and for the future of your relationship if you are detached of the break up and can start a new thing No need to wonder how to keep the door open, if it closes that ´s because you moved on and you re better that way. Saying that i know how that feels and i also wonder whether i am going to see him again and also whether my door will me open, but in my case he s not moving back.. Link to comment
engraved2008 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 It hurts so bad LDR break up....same scenario.Strong feelings,intense ,passionate relationship,airports,flights,delays.....we had a break in May 2009 with hopes of reconciliation when he finishes school and moves to the States....we kept contact for a year and broke it ,when he told me by phone that it was over....i started a life with someoneelse because i lost the hope of having him back.....but,he contacted me by text,and staterted to be friends....i thought i was never gonig to see him again.....well i missed him so bad and last week November 2010 i went to see him by surprise.and i even thought serious in moving there...i still love him and nothing has changed.....but he is seeing someoneelse right now and still says i m better than her.......and still does not know if he ll get back to the States or stay there.....i need to move on but i love him so much.....and i do not know how to close this chapter....i love him unconditionally.....what a sad end..... Link to comment
Kerrian Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 My boyfriend and I broke up during an LDR - the pressure was getting to us both, we both had a lot going on in our lives at the time and we were making one another miserable. He would tell me that he missed me more than I missed him, that he blamed me for going away, and that I was enjoying life without him. We had a lot of arguments, to the point where I ended things because I hated feeling like my year abroad was something I had to be blamed for. We were just getting at one another, and arguing and we didn't have any nice conversations. I said that we needed to take a step back and work things out. Things didn't get much better on our break from talking, and we ended up breaking up completely. I visited my university town for my birthday a couple of months later, (about two weeks ago) and we actually sat down and had a proper conversation about things. Since spending time apart, we'd both realised what we'd been doing - we'd not offered one another any support, when it was difficult for both of us, and we've carried on talking since. We've rekindled the relationship, and we understand one another better than we did before now. So, it's not easy, but there are happy endings to LDR break-ups. But like all relationships that get back together, they take a lot of work. Link to comment
serendipity28 Posted November 20, 2010 Author Share Posted November 20, 2010 Hi Kerrian , Thank you so much for sharing your story And congratulations for the "happy ending". I guess its exactly as you say LDR break ups are like the regular ones it takes lot of work to get back together, it´s like starting a new relationship and i think that the best way to do it. Time apart, then think what was wrong, and if it´s worth and if love remains start all over again another relationship better the the old one. Hope all goes great with you! Link to comment
PhilliesFan001 Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 My boyfriend & I were mega LD (he was in Britain, I was in the US). Our LDR lasted about 4 years, and broke up briefly because we had to spend 8 months apart at one time, and it was just too much pressure/strain/heartache. We missed each other too much and got back together shortly after. He moved over here temporarily and we were together for another year and got engaged. We actually just broke up, probably for good this time, but it had nothing to do with distance. Link to comment
michelle21689 Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I don't know the details but my ex's female battle buddy trained with this guy in North Carolina for AIT where they learn their jobs. After graduation he went back home to Virginia and she moved back to California. They kept in touch and started talking and became official. They were only together for a couple months and then I think she broke up with him because he started talking to some other girl and she was jealous. They broke up, he went out with the other girl and things didn't work out. She kept in touch with him though, and I guess after he broke up with her they started talking more and they got back together. Then they visited every 3 months or so...after 7 months getting back together she moved to be with him in November. They're still together. Link to comment
WhiteLotus Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I was in a LDR for eight months, and after we broke up we didn't talk again for about another eight months. We just got back together almost a week ago, so it's yet to be seen how things work out this time, but so far everything is going well. I first met him when I was 16, so although we haven't been dating the whole time we've managed to maintain a long distance friendship at the very least for 4 1/2 years. As a very kind person on here told me, trust is the most important element to a LDR, and I can see how it's true. Link to comment
quirky Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I was in a relationship that then became LDR and then split up. Got back together for a bit, split up again. Then apart for a year and now we are back together. We are in the same country now, I was the one to leave and come back to the country. Link to comment
michelle21689 Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Quirky! How did you guys get back together even though it was long distance? The only LDR reconciliation I know of is a couple that kept light contact and it turned into more...then she moved there after several months. My relationship was very serious (see the post I just put up now). Link to comment
serendipity28 Posted February 12, 2011 Author Share Posted February 12, 2011 hey guys, I am so glad this thread is alive congrats whitelotus and quirky hope everthing is going great now and that you re happy back together!Quirky I read some of your posts and I find your story lovely I was too in a long distance relationship for 1 1/2 year...And now we re 5 months apart, LC...I am going to his country to study probably, but i really dont think about getting back together now or then..I guess it would have to be a new relationship, start from scratch again to make it work. I do still miss him a lot, everyday..and it is still painfull but i think i acepted it. Michelle, keep strong, you ll be fine..first months are hell then you start seing things in another light, i know it easier said than done I am very happy that there are happy endings from LD break ups Link to comment
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