serendipity28 Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Hi everyone, I´m new here I read loads of threads it has been very helpful for me. so thanks!!I ´ve been going through a hard time after my boyfriend decided to break up with me out of the blue. We were together for 1 year and 3 months in long distance, both met while working abroad and we both returned to our countries and managed to see each other each month, everything was great we were very in love, talked everyday.went for trips together..I was at his place by the end of august and it was perfect. Though I always felt very sad and insecure on the lasts days we were together cause the distance its so hard that makes you fear something happens. So i told him that before i leave and he was like " i love you baby, we ve been through a lot and i wanna be with you". September was being very hard cause i was missing him a lot and him too missed (or i thought he did)...and i told him that lots of times. After 12 days out of the blue, he called me crying, very nervous saying that the best for us was breaking up and he thought we wouldnt be able to make it work...that this was the hardest decision of his life and that i deserved more than this. (bs). I was shocked and barely could speak. He had serious trouble on work 3 days before and i knew he was also down because of that. I told him i would respect his decision on a email on the same day and that it would be hard but i would heal and move on. he never answered, we never spoke again, everytime im online on fb he turns it off. Its awful, im trying to move on...focusing on myself, exercising, going out...but im not forgetting him at all...i miss him everyday and i love him. what do you think that happen (there´s no other girl on the scene 100% sure)? Do you think we will ever talk to me again'? I am doing no contact to heal myself..but i wonder if i should say something, he was by bestfriend and he used to tell me i was the first girl he ever loved. what do you think? thanks!! Link to comment
penelope13 Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Sorry that you have to go through this. I know how hard it is. As painful as it is, sometimes it is the truth: love is not enough to make it work. Long distance relationships are hard. People deal differently with the distance, some people believe they can handle it, but have to realize that it is just too difficult to do. I went through something very similar: we had met while he was abroad, we fell in love, then he had to move back to his country. We tried the long distance thing, because we loved each other so much. I wanted to be in touch all the time, while for him it would have been easier to handle to speak less frequently. We went on an amazing trip together. Returning I thought we will manage, while for him it demonstrated how well we are together when we are in the same place and how hard it is not to see each other. He got severely depressed, couldn't cope with anything, thus one day he broke it off. Many people tried to tell me he just feel out of love, or he had someone new, or he was a bastard etc. But 10 years down the road we are still friends and care very deeply for each other and realized that it was simply the distance that we couldn't handle, at a time in our lives when we didn't know how much longer we would have had to stay apart. I really feel for you, it's so hard to accept, but you will recover from this! Link to comment
serendipity28 Posted October 25, 2010 Author Share Posted October 25, 2010 thank you so much for your advice..I will recover that´s right!! just hope we can still keep contact cause he means a lot to me. you re very right, sometimes love it´s no enough..and that´s a shame we were very happy together. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 At the beginning it might be better not to have too much contact till it fully sinks in that it is really over and till the first wave of pain has gone. Link to comment
serendipity28 Posted October 25, 2010 Author Share Posted October 25, 2010 At the beginning it might be better not to have too much contact till it fully sinks in that it is really over and till the first wave of pain has gone. yes, im sticking in nc....actually i m so hurt that i don´t even have courage to contact him. thanks for the supporte penelope! Link to comment
sunman79 Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I went through a LDR breakup in March and I was getting ready to move to be with her and everything. The emotional connection was very strong, but not having the person physically takes a toll on everything and the relationship started to break down. She broke it off, but we loved each other so much we couldn't go NC completely. She continued to talk and be friendly while I continued to think I was winning her back. That didn't happen and I ended up getting hurt a second time. I know we will be friends one day, but not anytime soon. I suggest going NC until you feel you are ready to be friends and it might take a long time. Good luck. Link to comment
serendipity28 Posted October 29, 2010 Author Share Posted October 29, 2010 thanks for the advice sunman Sorry to hear about your situation as well..Sure you ll be friends in nthe future, when the connection is strong you don´t delete someone from your life. Well at least it´s what I hope. You re right, I am sticking with no contact even though and sometimes i just wish i could talk to him..cause he was my best friend and i miss him so. Link to comment
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