I REALLY fancy my friend, but she has a long term boyfriend

[Optimistic37]

This girl (D) joined my school at beginning of this year and I never really had any feelings for her at the start. However, I am now madly fancing her. Sometimes I get such a great pain in my 'heart' when I get home and I think about her.

 

For the last 2 weeks we have been getting ready for a school play at my school and after school me and D have been shopping together and hanging out in general. It has been great and I have never had so much fun with a girl before. The way that she always asks me to come with her is great. When we go shopping I cant stop smiling and never can she, this makes me feel like she fancies me but at the same time there is the feeling that she doesnt. She is very kind to everyone and she has that nature that is hard to predict.

 

There are other boys at school who always put their arms around her etc to be kind (or more) and Im never one of them, yet when walking in groups she always walks with me and talks to me. It feels great that I dont have to show her so much physical attention to get her to like me (it seems as a friend) and this makes me soo happy. Even when shopping with her, I never put my arm around her and only really touch her to drag her away from shops or general friendly touching and a BIG hug when saying goodbye. This all makes me feel great but I remember that she never puts her arms around me, however, today (we went shopping for 5 hours together and had the best time at Oxford Street!!) she put her arm through mine alot like a chain. I took this as her being like a friend, and no more.

 

I know I have been rambling on, but I want u to understand my situation. The main problem about this is; she has a boyfriend whom she has been goin out with for AAAAAgggeees. I find it strange that she goes out with him since he is very shy and she spends more time with me then with him. I feel that she would be better off with me than with him. She laughs so much with me and shows great interest with everything I do. I never have to show off to her or chase her around as I now know that she will always come to me for anything. However, she's only coming to me as a friend. I want to ask her out as more than a friend, but I dont want to wreck this amazing friendship.

 

Ever night I dream of her and I cant stop thinking about how I would love to be able to go out with her and kiss her. To hold her and be able to tell her how much she means to me would be perfect. I've become abit of a softy now when it comes to music and the slightest sad song even makes a tear come to my eye. I'm getting annoyed at myself and it hurts me.

 

When with friends she always points out to them funny things I do and anything I say that she finds interesting. She even says this to her boyfriends which is abit uncomfortable. I appretiate this attention but I feel that she is only doin this as I am a new character to her. She has told me many times that she has never met anyone like me.

 

Please help me out guys! Im very confused and Im wondering if it is wise to tell her best friend (who is very trustworthy and sweet) the way I feel about D.

[sumimasen]

I'm in almost the same situation myslf, except that I got over the crush a long time ago and that we're really good friends now.

 

If she really loves her bf (which I suppose is the case since it's a long term relation) then I see no way for you to be more for her then a friend.

 

You'll get over her with time and other girls. Heck, I bet she can help you find good girls (women like to meddle in the love lifes of others... use it to your advantage).

[maynards_razorblade69]

She seems to be extremely interested in you!! Smiling and basically thinking you're amazing...well, you gotta be, and she obviously feels something for you.

Long-term relationships can be swept aside by just one person, and she might love you more than she loves this guy.

I was in this position, except I was the girl in the long term relationship, and I fancied my best friend.

I asked him out and he said no, but that he thought I was a really nice girl blah blah etc. But it hasn't ruined our friendship at all, in fact, it's strengthened it, because now we know what we feel for each other.

Go for it, never pass up a chance to tell someone how you feel, or you'll spend the rest of your life regretting it.

And tell her face to face, that'll make it special, and she'll understand. Go for it!!

Good luck

Lottie

xxx

[Optimistic37]

aghhh I really want to tell her how much she makes me feel. At times I feel like she is all over me and I believe that we could easily go out with each other.

 

However, when we went shopping yesterday she mentioned her bf quite abit. We were in a shop and I saw a cool shirt so I said "this is a wicked shirt" and she just said "yeh, it is. I might get this for Alex (her bf)". She even mentioned that she needed to get him a present.

 

As Im not very good at analysing this I have to ways of taking this:

1) She has feelings for me and is scared to go about them so she uses her bf to remind herself of what she already has.

2) She is not interested (in THAT way) in me and might be picking up signals (or not) from me and is just normally thinking about her bf.

 

The more I think about our situation the more Im starting to believe that maybe she sees me and a great friend whom she can rely on. I feel the same about her so I'm very scared about telling her how I really feel.