his actions after mutual breakup...please clear my confusion

[live_to_love]

ok....i broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago (it was mutual), but i was the more attached one and i am still recovering from the crushed dreams, while he seems to be doing better. due to the fact that 3 of my best friends are also in his circle of friends, we have met a couple of times since deciding to go separate ways. we parted on good terms, with the thought that the timing was bad and that i was too into the relationship when he wasn't sure what he wants. i am just confused and want to now how your ex boyfriends acted around you for the first few times that you met, especially if the meeting wasn't arranged. also, how did you act? i am getting mixed signals and just want to know what to think so i can move on. thanks for any help also, has anybody experienced an ex being hostile and hiding any feelings from an ex who he still cares for. or maybe you've done the same?

[kayc73]

Hi live_to_love

I know exactly what you are going through! Same thing happened to me about 4 months ago and to this day I'm still confused!

When we first broke up things were difficult for a couple of weeks but then when we did see eachother, most times it was as though we were together. We'd still have the occasional cuddle and a peck here and there but now when I think about it, it depended what sort of mood he was in. He lead me to believe at times we were still together, being affectionate infront of friends and all and even staying the night at his house. I was never sure what was going on but until recently I believe that he only wants a part time lover and doesn't care for me the same way that I care for him.

A week ago I had it out with him and told him that I want something serious.... not something that suits him when his bored or missing the companionship. So now I've decided to put it behind me and move on!! I know I deserve to be treated better and have put up with this long enough.

My advise to you is to take a step back and really look at the situation. Maybe even talk to him and ask what he is feeling!

Hope this has helped.... good luck and let me know how things are going.

 

Kayc

[live_to_love]

thanks a lot

yeah, your situation does sound similar to mine. you gave me one more reason to just move on, to stop having false dreams that ican't live in real life with someone who doesn't dream like me. i too felt like he wanted to just have someone who he can have a good time with, and this is really not what i wanted and sadly still want to have with him. i would like to talk to him, but there are two things in the way. first of all, he's on a study abroad program right now, and second, i don't know how the talking would go. i guess that i'm simply scared, scared to make another mistake. but, i know i should try because i don't wnat to regret not trying and not following my heart later. he will be back in a few months, so i think i just have to wait it out and hope that i don't chicken out