How to keep up NC after break up?

[InaDaze87]

Im about to go insane. My ex and I had a really bad break up last saturday. I drove almost 2 hours to surprise her and cook dinner and she got all pissy mad because she had tons of work (she's a law school student) and basically broke up with me and sent me home.

 

I felt horrible because she has been acting this way for about 2 months now and I wanted an explanation as to why she is just cutting me out of her life after 2 years. She couldn't give me one other than I'm too nice, she doesn't have time, and that I should see other women.

 

Needless to say I didn't take this very well and it is all I have been thinking about for the past five days. I literally can't focus on anything else because of this. I really love this girl and I feel so stupid for it because everyone that I have talked to about what went on is saying that she most likely has found someone new and doesn't want to admit to it.

 

So it's been 5 days and she hasn't even attempted to contact me (nor have I with her) or even ask a friend how Im doing. So I need some advice on how to get her out of my head. Any advice would be very appreciated right now. ](*,)

[collegegirl21]

yea! my sister is like this and did this to her Ex.. just move on.. when she says "your too nice" its a bad sign. it wont work so just keep the NC and try to move on. Learn from this experience. maybe you smothered her. next girl you get after the honymoon phase is over try to give them a bit more space maybe! srry bout that..

[InaDaze87]

yea! my sister is like this and did this to her Ex.. just move on.. when she says "your too nice" its a bad sign. it wont work so just keep the NC and try to move on. Learn from this experience. maybe you smothered her. next girl you get after the honymoon phase is over try to give them a bit more space maybe! srry bout that..

 

I don't think you understand. We have been a SERIOUS relationship for 2 full years. The honeymoon phase was over back in 2008. We have practically lived together, talked about marriage, kids, the whole nine. We havent even seen each other going on 2 months now and we might talk 10 minutes out of a day if we're lucky since she has moved away.

[rich1]

the only advice i can give stems from my own experiences - i know how tough it is, im only on week 2 myself and this is the longest its been since the split 3 months ago

 

KEEP BUSY - vital! i have no urge to contact her if im out seeing friends, exercising, watching a funny movie or spending time with family - lean on the people around you, at the end of the day, you know you'd do it for them too!

 

remind yourself that getting in touch will do no good FOR YOU. yes she might talk back and be friendly, but is being friends really what you want?? i could have had that, and believe me, you'd be 100x worse

 

also, tell yourself that getting in touch will show signs of weakness, or that you will embarrass yourself. dont give her the opportunity to make a mug of you twice. she gave up on you, so be selfish and worry about your own happiness, trust me, it gets much MUCH easier. read my first post on this site if you have to - i cant, it makes me cringe

[jds1990]

I was with my ex for 3 years until she decided to end it 10 weeks ago. It killed me at first as i wasnt expecting it but after a month of trying to fix things with her and being her friend i decided to go completely NC. Its been 6 weeks now and im so much better, i dont think about her half as much and im happy. Delete everything to do with your ex, phone number, facebook, hide all the photos and memories. This is what i did and although the first few weeks of NC were extremely difficult, the last month has been a lot easier and i feel like i am over her. She has a new boyfriend and it doesnt bother me at all and that is simply because of NC, not having anything to do with my ex for the last 6 weeks and concentrating on myself i dont feel like i know her anymore.

 

In the first few weeks after my break up i was a mess and everyone on this site was telling me to do NC, i didnt feel like i could do it as i cared so much about my ex but i eventually gave in and took there advice. NC really is best and only thing you can do in your situation, if you contact her you will seem needy and by the way she is being with you it is clear she wants to have some space, so give it to her and work on yourself.

[No1]

Dont blame her, she is in Law School. The demand for that is enormous. You have to realize that its not about you. She really does need to devote her time for that. What you did was a nice gesture, but at the same time, you have to see that you cant be priority 1. Law school is. Dating someone like that you have to understand you take a back seat to her studies. Its not easy! If you can understand that, then tell her and maybe something can be worked out. She is telling you to see someone else so she doesnt have to worry about you. She cant promise any time will go to you. If she wants to give it to you, great, but she doesnt want feel obligated to give you her free time. She has very little freedom as is with school being this heavy weight on her shoulders all the time.

Im not defending her actions, Im just trying to make you see things thru her eyes. It has nothing to do with you being 'nice' and when people say that you are too "nice" it means you are too available, too eager, or you can be walked on. And I would venture to say that the majority of girls dont like someone they can walk over.

I just think its funny how people are saying the automatic "NO CONTACT" The case here is her work load and free time. Contacting her from time to time is not a bad thing. Its Law School.. Passing the BAR is HARD~

[mia616]

Sorry to hear. Do not contact her it will only make you seem weak to her. She has given you signs and I know it sucks, but she only wanted to talk to you 10 minutes a day. That's tough especially when not seeing each other in 2 months. Also you going out of your way to go and see her and her treating you like crap... You deserve better than that! Don't settle for someone when you were only dating 2 years and your honeymoon phase ended in 2008? Isn't that when you started dating? People have talked about marriage and been together a lot longer than 2 years. You will find someone better.