Accidental call ... coincidence or not?

[RaphAngel16]

So, I'm on a date when suddenly my phone vibrates and I see a call coming in from a number that I didn't recognize. When my date was over I called to see who it was. It went to voicemail and it was from a woman that I was seeing for most of last year until Dec. She ended it and we haven't talked in about seven months. When it ended, it just didn't feel right ... like she was scared of commitment. I did the normal chasing, pleading, and finally it just dissolved in mutual no contact.

 

So I left a message telling her to feel free to call. I get a text an hour later saying that it was a mistake, her niece was playing with her phone. Normally I would think ok, I guess that could happen. But the next day was the one year anniversary of when we met for the first time. When we first met, the season was changing and the weather felt much like it does now. So, as it changed again this year she started coming back into my mind. Maybe the same with her?

 

Anyone have experience on either side of this kind of thing?

[sidehop]

I get the sense you still want to talk to her in some ways? I'd move on if you felt she has commitment issues.

[d24]

i think it's just wishful thinking on your part.

treat it as an accident as she said, and forget about it (and her)

[RaphAngel16]

I get the sense you still want to talk to her in some ways? I'd move on if you felt she has commitment issues.

 

Well, I do. I miss her, even if just as a friend. It was painful to see it end and led me to a pretty bad place for a while but I'm a much better person now because of it. I just don't feel comfortable initiating contact as I'm not certain if it's welcome.

[sidehop]

I've been there too bud...they fade in and out. The skipped heartbeat and the 'maybe she...' NOPE. Couldn't decide, wishy washy and disappeared again. It just wasn't meant to be

[Triplell]

Once a mistake, twice a habit. When my ex and I reconciled the first time, I got a call from her that I didn't answer. I texted her asking what she needed, and she said nothing, wrong number.

 

A week later I get a call from her saying she broke her computer and she wanted to know how to fix it, she thought the processor had fallen out. Well what she was describing made no sense, and all of a sudden it was "fixed". Then she proceeded to ask me what I was doing...etc, wanted to talk. I was being pretty stern and serious toned the whole time, and she started wanting to joke about it. She then started to say things sexually, seeing if it would get a rise out of me. I didn't take any of the bait. The whole next week she was begging, pleading to come see me. Finally I gave in, and we dated for another 6 months.

 

Makes me wonder how I ever made the mistake of begging her back, pleading for her before. It only brought upon an injunction. Oddly enough she still called me (against court order) at my work.

 

So let that be a lesson to all. After a break-up, have maybe 1 session of begging her back. If she rejects it, you have to go strict no contact. If she really did love you and you really did treat her well (which I did my ex), she'll come back. I really believe that most girls leave there boyfriends during rough times because something else comes along that seems like a better alternative. Sooner than later they find out that this new guy isn't as great as he seemed, and that they screwed up.

 

From then on out, ball is in your court. Either you forgive her for crushing your heart, and hope that she doesn't do it again, or you let her go and move on.

[IBS]

I don't believe it was a mistake that her neice called. BUT now she knows you still have the same phone number. You were really nice on the phone, and I believe that if she needs to call you, she can.

 

I would just let it go for now...

[RaphAngel16]

I've been there too bud...they fade in and out. The skipped heartbeat and the 'maybe she...' NOPE. Couldn't decide, wishy washy and disappeared again. It just wasn't meant to be

 

That's kind of how I'm looking at it. What makes me feel good is how incredibly strong I feel now compared to when it ended. I mean, I'm curious and I miss her at times but I don't need her and don't feel compelled to contact her. I'm enjoying the lack of drama with my current girlfriend too and that helps.

[RaphAngel16]

I read a few threads on this forum and several others about "accidental" calls and texts from dumpers many months after the fact. It seems to be more common than I realized. My question is why? Assuming this was intentional, why? Why call someone you once liked but then hurt and when they respond, act like it was an accident?