hes my EX, what do i do???

[Depressed186]

ok, i am with someone, been with him for about a year and a half now, but theres this guy that i have known, lets see i graduated in 2002, and i met him in the 10th grade, i dated his bestfriend... so ive known him since 1999, we have been bestfriends for soo long now, we have even tried dating...but didnt work out, i wasnt ready for a relationship with him. but its been a while since we have talked, i guess ever since i started dating the one i am with now. well just this past April i called him, to ask him a question about my car, i always trusted him like that. (i am very picky who i talk and let touch my car) ever since i started talking to him again, everytime i talk to him i just want to run into his arms and have him old me alll night long!!! hes soo intouch with my feelings and is sooo sweet to me no matter what i say or do, hes not worried about me going out and doing what i want to do, and he lets me be who i want to be. but the other catch is, he has a girlfriend that hes been dating off and on for 5 years. things are not working out for them, shes VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY insecure so you can imagine the misery with them. i want to be with him, but i dont know what i should do.

[dazzedandconfused021]

if i were you, i would fallow your heart and if you don't really like the guy you're dating dump him and if he is that good of your friend, talk to him about it the worst he can do is say no and that hes sorry because he wont want to hurt you, or maybe he has the same feelings for you but is afariad to talk to you because of your boyfriend. so all i can say if to fallow you're heart it's always right.

 

hope this helped, love kim

 

 

[JT]

This reminds me of a story of how love works.

 

My mom was in her early twenties when she had a good friend that was very pretty. Her name was Louise. She dated this guy Marvin and my mom always thought he was cute. Anyways Louise and my mom drifted apart in friendship. My mom married my dad, divorced yadda yadda.

 

20 or so years later mom runs into Marvin at the supermarket, he's been married once (not to Louise), but is now Divorced. Mom gets his number, 5 years later they are married. Louise finds out and is PISSED. But thats the way it goes. Funny how it works is'nt it???

 

A very wise man once told me: "People get married yes... but often times they do become available again"

 

 

This is so true this day and age. All marriage is is a form of "legal boyfriend/girlfriend". People do become available again.. this I can assure you.

 

Follow your heart.

[TrueHeart]

Thats absolutely great you both have chemistry going between you. I agree though that you really should get rid of the guy you're with, because you truly don't seem happy with him, and furthermore, your heart is in a different place.

 

About the guy dating his girl on and off for 5 years?!?! Wow, thats a long time. Depending on the level of commitment between them would determine how appropriate it would be for you to express your feelings to your 'handsome mechanic'. I would atleast approach him and tell him your feelings, but to be discreet and use your best judgement. Even though things aren't going really well for him and the 'yo-yo' girl, theres a reason (possibly) why they've stuck around for 5 years. Just make sure you're using your best judgement. First though, if you are unhappy with your current guy, you need to just cut the ties and let him go.

 

I sincerely hope things work out for the best for you. Afterall, the worst way to love someone, is from a distance.

[Depressed186]

Johnny ( my boyfriend) and i have been together for about a year and a half now, we have gone throught soooo much together, some really hard times, and have grown really close, but i believe his insecurity is really hurting our relationship, i have known Jamie( the other guy) for about 5-6 years now i think... like i said we have dated off and on, and they have been off and on for 5 years, but she treats him like crap, and its because of her insecurity also!!! Jamie treats me soo good, but last time we were together i wasnt ready for a relationship and i screwed up...i asked him if there was ever a chance that we would get back together then would he, he sounded kinda puzzled...and he said that he would have to think about it. but i am going to sit and talk to him tonight so hopefuly i will get some answers.

[davo1066]

i believe his insecurity is really hurting our relationship..... Jamie( the other guy..... we have dated off and on...Jamie treats me soo good...... i am going to sit and talk to him tonight so hopefuly i will get some answers.

 

You blame your current bf for being insecure yet you're running around after an ex and thinking of him holding you all night? Maybe there's a reason why your current bf is feeling insecure?

 

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Just a thought

[Depressed186]

ok, first of all my current does not know that i have feelings for this other guy, now he does know that if he doesnt strieghten up then i am going to leave him, i have not and will not cheat on him, just because i have thoughts about another men does not make me a bad person, yall men have thoughts about other woman all the time....i love johnny( my current) very much, but i dont love him to the extent that i am willing to stay in this relationship with him hurting me. i dont know why he is sooo insecure but he is, he has had really hurtful relationships in the past where other woman has hurt him...so that is probably the reason why, and he hasnt married me yet because he has seen his family go through horrible divorces and he doesnt want to go through it himself, and i dont blame him, i dont want to go through it either, im glad that i am finding out that we are not getting alone good at all now, rather than to find out when we get married, i am not a bad person, and plus this ex of mine is a really close friend of mine, i can talk to him about anything, and i trust him.

[davo1066]

OK, fair enough, sorrry, I guess I didnt know enough about your situation. I've just seen otehr cases where one partner's behaviour or intentions makes their current partner justifiably insecure, and they then use this insecurity as an excuse to split up