My side of the story.

[xthe core enemyx]

I guess alot of you have read the thing my sister wrote titled This is only The beginning... And i guess I'm ready to tell people my story as well. My sister left out somethings in her side of the story... but she wasn't there. Only I was....

 

For the First 10 years of our lives, Our father wasn't there, not even there to see us be born. My mother told me and my sister that dad did care he was just scared. When my mom found out she was pregnant with us, my Dad left my mom, 8 years old sister and 12 year old brother. The first day i ever saw him was a week after my mom died. For 3 years we endured All the hate that was stored up inside our father. we started drinking and staying out until 1 am only to go home to more yells and screams. I started hearing voices that told me i was worthless. from time to time i still hear those voices. I went to an institute until they said i was stable enough to go home, and i still have to take meds.

On August 20, 2003, 2:00A.M. Blaire (My sister) was away to our brother Brian's staying the week. I would have gone but I didn't really get along with Brian at the time. The house was empty and silent. I looked out side to see my fathers truck was here. but oddly He wasn't. I was creeping around the house, just in case he was hiding ready to pounce or hit my over the head with somthing

But i found nothing. I walked into my room. I turned on my light, and above our bed, was my dad... he was hanging, and i read his suicide letter and all it read was IT'S YOUR FAULT... so i dialed 911 and they kept trying to comfort me. i called blaire up the next day to tell her. the next few days went by really slow. it was a slow motion until his funeral. and blaire read a poem that shocked every one but me.

 

Torn

 

You told me that you hated me

You made me sink

You tore me to pieces and broke my heart

 

From all the pain and the hate you placed upon me

I have grown to be a stronger person

You told my sister and me that we were nothing

Ripped out our hearts and threw them away

 

You were never there for the first 9 years of my life

Then mother died and you suddenly appeared

To kill me slowly with every tear I shed

 

You pushed me to my breaking point

Now I'm just a broken doll

Shattered

And you can't fix me

 

Look at me, please tell me what you see

Just a rag doll you can throw around

All my limbs in different places

I can't get out of this place

I'm suffocating

 

Now I'm stronger and you're dead

You can't hear the voice inside my head that pushes me to live

I thank you for hurting me and making me see

My life was almost perfect

Then it all came crashing down

 

I may be happier now

But my heart contains scars that will never heal

And will forever more be

Torn

 

I'm not sure any of you have read that so i just put it....

Then not long after that i wrote my own.

 

'To Pieces'

 

Catch my tears

As they fall

I can hear your screams

From down the hall

 

I sit in the corner

I have been crying all day

We can feel each other's

Emotional pain

 

She hates her self

And I hate me too

As we endure

This pain from you

 

But now you're gone

And all the hate I felt for you

Has been lifted

And I feel pure and new

 

Dear Daddy,

I hope you burn in hell

I want you to know that I will love you

And here at home things are well

 

I wish I could have said

'Daddy before you leave us,

I want you to know

You broke us To Pieces'

 

And i guess that is all i have to say, and now you know my side since i shared it with you. And im glad i did.[/b]

[i_hate_the_world47]

I am so srry for your loss.And yes i did read your sisters side.You two have obviously gone thorugh alot.I hope you knoiw that yor fathers death wasnt your fault.If you ever need some1 to tlk to i am here.

 

Meagan

[squarepeg]

I'm so sorry about your pain