Is it really abuse?

[i_hate_the_world47]

Hi guys i am in a tight situation.I am not going to tell ne of u who this is happening to but i do need some advice. If your father slaps you and yells at you for things such as not making your bed he right way.Is this abuse ?Plz any one i need some advice

 

Meagan

[myplague234]

Yes this is a situation of child abuse. You may want to call a hotline or something for professional help

 

The number is (800) 932-0313 they can help you with any questions or problems you may have.

[i_hate_the_world47]

MYPLAGUE234

r u sure its abuse.I mean i am not trying to defend this abuser but i want to make sure before i call a hotline

[mahlina]

Hmm...Good Question. I think that it depends on different families, and how they feel is the 'correct' way to teach their children.

 

Some parents are just really strict about things. But as far as slapping you for not making your bed, perhaps that's going a little overboard. However, maybe you guys are in a heated conflict, and not making your bed is just the tip of the ice-berg. I think that physical abuse is more like if he's consistantly hitting you, yelling at you, and basically doing stuff that no parent should do: I.E. pulling your hair, or other ways of acting physically violent. If it gets to that point, then that's going way over the top. Give him some time to cool off. Afterwards, discuss things with him in a relaxed manner. That's when you can perhaps talk some sense into him, and him onto you, vice versa. -Mahlina

[i_hate_the_world47]

Mahlina,

i understand where you are coming from and after reading your post i think i will explain the situatio alittle more. The particular situation about making the bed started with someone(no names to protect the innocent)going into her room to clean it up.Her father came in and was drunk.Her bed wasnt made right,a corner of the sheet was sticking out.As soon as the father saw this he slapped the girl and knocked her down.He then leaned over her yelling andn screaming at then slapped her and walked out.Now thats wat i wanted to know if it was abuse or not.i was hesitant to explain it though

 

Meagan

[mahlina]

In that case, yes. If he's physically hitting her, especially with substances in his body, being all intoxicated, then yes he is 'abusing' her. That's a kind of sick mentality that I don't admire in some people. I wouldn't even call her father a 'father.' That's just the oppossite of a 'shining' example of parenting. More like a trashy mentality that I frown upon. What kind of pyschotic attitude is that? Hitting your daugther, while you're intoxicated? That's sad. I wonder about the other things that he might possibly do to her. Some people just never grow up. Some parents do not ever learn how to be good parents.

 

If I were her, I'd slap him back. I wouldn't care if he were to be my dad or not. No parent should put their kids through that. That's not teaching your kid. That's more like taking out your rage like some kind of rabid dog! If this is happening right now, then tell your friend to get out of the house, or at least stay in her room for now. Or go to some relatives house. She doesn't need to lock herself up and feel bad about this. The dad's a creep, and needs to join some kind of 'alchoholics' anonymous, prevention-program, or something. No one should have to tolerate with this kind of behavior. No one.-Mahlina

[i_hate_the_world47]

Mahlina

Thanx for your advice.Now i will tell you that it is not my friend who is the subject to abuse.it is me.My step father hits me around all the time and i dont know what to do.my mom doesnt know b/c he said he would kill me if she found out

[myplague234]

It owuld be considered as abuse if he did this constantly. If it was just the first time and it hasnt happened yet then it may not technically be considered abuse. Abuse usually may occur over a long period of time and doesnt necessarily happen in one incident. So maybe i did rush to conclusions to tell you to calla hotline. sry

[i_hate_the_world47]

Well the abuse isnt all the time.but when my step dad is drunk (like 5 days a week)he beats me around

[mahlina]

I am so sorry to hear about your situation: I_hate_the_world47. Girlfriend, it will be okay. I am so sorry. I really am. I know how you feel. My mother had an ex-boyfriend that was like that. Except, he did other sick things that I don't like to talk about. He'd hit me, slap me, and abuse me when I was younger. Thank goodness my mother found someone new. If I were you, tell your mom to DUMP that CREEP!

 

I don't know what my mother saw in that PIG! But your safety's in his hands, and if he's going to hurt you like that, then let your mom know. If she does already know about it, and is scared to leave him for whatever reasons, then tell another family member. So long as another 'adult' is in this situation, family that is, they can probably talk some sense into your mother. I don't respect anyone who puts any child through endangerment. He should burn in hell for doing what he's doing. Honey, I hope that he's not hurting you in other ways as well. Perhaps you can tell your father. I couldn't tell my dad, because he passed away. But if he were alive, he wouldn't allow anyone to treat his daughter that way. I am sorry to hear about his abuse. Have an adult deal with the situation. If this persists any longer, and something else happens, I really mean it, something extreme like sexual abuse, then you need to call a domestic abuse hotline number.

 

If I were your father, I'd call the cops on him. Especially, if he ever lays another hand on you. And especially if he does other things that lead to you to feeling endangered. Next time he hits you, run away and call the cops. Don't put up with this. Do not allow him to cross that line. I am so against this, and sooo pissed off for you. It hurts because I know how you feel. Enjoy the holiday okay? Go hang out with another family member. Try to leave the house. YOu don't need to spend the 4th of July under a roof with a drunk, rabid dog, who's going to beat you up. That's not right. PM me if you need more help. I will be glad to share my stories with you. Please do something for yourself. Don't allow him to talk down on you like that, and treat you that way. That's morally degrading. -Mahlina

[i_hate_the_world47]

Mahline

thanx alot.I am spending 4th of july with my friends.I would tell a family member but i am afraid of wat my step father will do if he finds out. I would tell my dad but i dont know where he is.When i was 5 he left me and my mom and i havnet got a clue where he is

[fallenwhitelighter]

Honesty, i think this abuse, but saying that it is does not help, does it.... it is a start but i think that you should ask him why he is hitting you.... because (not from experience) most of the time the reason he is hitting you or being abussive is because he has some inner-problem which he can not let go of, maybe it is just me and being naive, but i think that he does not want to hit you but feels compelled to, because he can not express him right... thereforeeee you should talk to him and comfront him and maybe you ease his inner-pain through allowing him to express it and easing your pain, but expressing your feeling as well....

 

I hope with all my heart, you can resolve you problems and have a peaceful and happy life.....

[myplague234]

if it is happening on more then one occasion then you should call that hotline and get some help for it. it would be considered abuse since it was more then one occasion.